Obama Romney Town Hall Debate...Cheetos Eatin' Americans Probably Missed Their Points

Last night, I didn't watch the Presidential Town Hall style debate live.  Well, not on TV anyway.  I never watch debates live on TV any longer.

Sure, I go back and watch the replay on TV, sometimes more than once, but the only way to most enjoyably and in real time, “watch” a Presidential debate, is on Twitter and Facebook.

I tell ya, people.  It’s more exciting than it would be to watch a strap-on wearing Scarlett Johansson doing Eva Longoria doggie style in my living room.

Okay, okay…that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but Lordy, Lordy…

Folks on Twitter and Facebook, be they celebrity or average American, certainly know how to oscillate statements made by their candidate of choice and turn a boring diatribe of duality into an overly-frothed milkshake of cyber stupidity and uber-rollicking entertainment.

I swear people.  Americans are some of the stupidest, most intellectually rigid, non-thinking for themselves motherfuckers in the world.

Yeah I said, that, and I am even throwing Americans in with stupid, fanatical Muslims who blow people up because they might get laid because of it.

I know, I know…You’re saying:

“Matt-Man, you really believe that overly excitable Americans who are blinded to a political party are just as bad as over-zealous, misinterpreting Muslims who bastardize the Quran?”

Well, minus the killing and murderous tendencies that some of the aforementioned Muslims do, yes, as far as intellect and self-determination goes, yes I am saying just that.

After watching the past two Presidential debates through the virtual eyes of Twitter and Facebook I have but one thing to say…

America?  As a people we in general, are fucking stupid, short-sighted, myopic, incurious, and most of all, intellectually lazy.

I was avidly reading all the tweets and Facebook entries during the debate last night, and well…As I was laughing, I was also getting a dry mouth and sore throat due to me sitting here with mouth agape being stupefied by the comments from people over the debate performances.

Sean Hannity was tweeting that this was the greatest debate performance ever by Romney…Ha, Romney got his ass kicked.

Ed Schultz was excitedly jacking off over Obama’s performance during this debate, yet never acknowledged that during the first debate, Obama got his ass kicked by Romney.

Both guys have their heads up their asses, and well, I wish their heads would stay there, so they’d shut the fuck up.

Gregt Gutfeld was adoringly screaming like a schoolgirl on Twitter in hopes that Romney would notice his no-talent ass, and Michael Moore was cheering on Obama while being to the world of journalism what Bartolo Colon is to the world of professional athletes.

And you?  The simple, every day voter, tweeter, and Facebook poster?

Oy…

Forty to Fifty percent of you are no different than the vapid, talking heads that I mentioned.

You, like them…You have preconceived notions, a head full of what others have told you, and no concept of personal thought, of personal reasoning as to who or what is best for this country.

This election like all elections in recent memory, has become merely a sport…a game…a chance to be on the winning side.

I think President Obama, summed this up well, and has caught hell for saying it, but he was right…

“You can’t change Washington from the inside.”

No, no you can’t.  Not when the citizens of this country keep electing representatives based upon party rather than the ability to govern.

It’s sad, and knowing how bad it has gotten, we should change the motto on our coins.

We should change the motto from E Pulribus Unum to E Pluribus Stupid.

And Jayman and I will discuss that, and many other things today LIVE at 11 AM ET on IWS Radio which you can catch by clicking HERE.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

My Freaky Neighbor

Hola freaks and weirdos  After months of involuntarily listening in on my upstairs neighbor’s activities I have suddenly put all together. Well, it wasn’t so sudden really. It actually took several nights of lying awake in my bed while listening to a rhythmic squeaking and banging noises going on above me.

My neighbor gets a lot of action. I always figured that he was either a really charming guy or had access to great drugs that girls were willing to do anything for. But, the more action he got, the more things didn’t seem to add up.

See, it sounded like my neighbor had an air mattress that he used as his “sex bed” because it wasn’t bed springs or a bed frame type squeaking. If you've ever slept on an air bed you’ll know what I mean. It sounds like squeezing a beach ball.

Here’s the weird part. I've never hear any HUMAN noises up there. No moaning or screaming or cooing or anything. No talking beforehand or afterwards. Also, after he’s through he jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom. But, nobody else does. In fact, there’s only one person walking around up there EVER.

Hell, three minutes before he’s in bed getting bizz-ay he’s outside talking on his cellphone. Next thing you know he’s squeezing the beach ball for ten minutes and that’s it. Then, after a trip to the bathroom, he goes into the other bedroom, gets into a bed that has a real squeaky frame and goes to sleep.

So, I think we all know where this is going, right? Yup … My upstairs neighbor has a girl drugged and chained to an air mattress in his apartment.

Wait … No, that’s not it. I hope. His girlfriend is a blow up doll.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And I’m certainly not one to judge, but it’s just one of those things that seems odd and one feels they must share on their blog with the whole world.

Has anyone out there ever tried a blow up doll? I guess maybe some people just need a little help when it comes to masturbating. If this dude was in the blogosphere or twitter he would meet more than enough hot babes to fantasize about and maybe he wouldn't need something like that and wouldn't have worry about hiding his “girlfriend” in case maintenance came into his apt when he was gone. And that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I can talk the maintenance dude into to. I’m totally going to try to get him to go in there and look. Just for confirmation, not so I can mock him again. I would never do something like that. But, just so I’ll know if my months of detective work were worth it.

If there is no blow up girlfriend up there, I will have to ask him where he finds all these deaf and mute girls. Unless he’s good at finding girls who don’t mind having duct tape over their mouths during sex. That would be kinda hot.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 


Also, on Wednesday we had a great show talking about the Presidential Debate, Nicki Minaj vs Mariah Carey, speaking Canadian and Drive-By Mikey called in to update us all on the Great Mouse Hunt of 2012. All that and so much more! Check it out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Presidential Debate 2012...Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney

Tonight at 9 P.M. ET, Jim Lehrer will moderate the first of the 2012 Presidential Debates live from Denver, CO.

Tonight’s questions will focus on fiscal and domestic policy.  Subsequent Presidential debates will focus on foreign policy and social issues.

So, in the meantime and on the precipice of tonight’s debate…

We brought both President Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney into the Bagwine Studios of IWS in order to have a tête-à-tête type summit in order to discover what makes the hearts and souls of President Barry and Governor Willard beat.

Matt:  Gov. Romney…Let’s begin with you.  If you had been born a black man rather than a pasty white type of guy…what type of black man would you be?

Romney:  Hmmmm?  That pre-supposes that my father would have been a negro as well, and since as a white man living in Detroit he ran Ford Motor Company…um…as a successful negro living in Detroit, he would have run Motown Records. So I guess I would have become the cat’s pajamas in some Section 8 mogul form or fashion. Or I’d have taken over Motown Records and be known today as, Quincy Gordy and/or Berry Jones.

Matt:  Likewise President Obama…If you had been born truly white, rather than an awkwardly DNA’ed mufaletta, where do you think you’d be today?

Obama:  Hell I’d still be residing in Hawaii.  And as a white man I would actually be able to enjoy the surf.  I could swim in the ocean.  Ride a surfboard, and just hang out getting a tan.  You can’t do any of that type of thing when you’re a black man.  Hawaii isn’t paradise when you’re a black man; it’s just a Zip Code.

Matt:  Let’s move to religion…President Obama?  If you were a Mormon, how do you think you would react?

Obama:  Well…First I would say unto myself…Why your mommy and daddy belong to a church that considered us folks of color lesser folk until 1980 or so?  But then?  I’d be all over that polygamy thing and marry Tyra Banks, Shakira, Eva Longoria, Michelle, produce 8,000 kids, and be the first Democrat Presidential candidate to ever win the State of Utah.

Matt:  And Governor Romney?  What if you had been raised a Muslim like President Obama?

Romney:  That’s a bazaar question.  Ha Ha Ha, get it?  Bazaar?  Anyhoo…The word bazaar is a portend as to what I’d do.  I’d probably ingratiate myself to the Muslim community and make millions off of selling spices and tea leaves produced in China and Laos to my Muslim brethren in the kitschy markets of the Middle East.

Matt:  Gov. Romney.  Soft Drinks…Pop…Soda…They can help to define a person.  What is your favorite?

Romney:  Well as a Mormon I don’t consume caffeine, but as a drinker of soda, I do once in awhile enjoy an ice cold bottle of Coca-Cola.

Matt:  Coke does contain caffeine.

Romney:  Pepsi?

Matt:  Pepsi does as well.

Romney:  Well, I do enjoy being in the bubbly presence of the CEOs of both companies.  Ha Ha Ha.

Matt:  President Obama?  You favorite soft drink, pop, soda?

Obama:  Hee Hee…I see you smiling Matt-Man, because as you worked in fast food in High School and work at the Beer Mine now, you know what us bruthas like.

Matt:  Ha…And what would that be?

Obama:  We like Orange Pop, Grape Pop, and Tahitian Treat.

Matt:  Word…And even though you are Hawaiian, you’ll have none of that Hawaiian Punch shit.

Obama:  Fuck that shit.

Romney:  Can I say fuck that shit too?  I mean, if it’ll help me be hip?

Matt: You just did, Governor.

Romney:  Yo, Canine.  Woot Woot.

Obama and Matt:  Uh-huh.

And that concludes our debate and if you’d like, Jayman and I will be broadcasting LIVE Today at 11 AM ET on Blog Talk Radio so catch us LIVE by clicking right HERE.

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS