What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Ariel Sharon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ariel Sharon. Show all posts

Sunday, January 12, 2014

IWS Person of the Week...Ariel Sharon

It is with very heavy hearts that Jay, Matt, and the staff of IWS Radio pile on the condolence machine with the passing of former Israeli Prime Minister and the embodiment of male Hebrewliciousness, Ariel Sharon.

And, in honor of his passing, IWS Radio has honored him as our IWS Person of the Week.

A true Israeli patriot, he cut quite the dashing figure in his early years as a military stud...


His diplomatic skills were unmatched as well as he gave a wink and a nod to Lebanese Christians who slaughtered defenseless, yet ill-tempered Palestinian folks who resided in a refugee camp...


In spite of him slipping into a coma some years ago, Ariel Sharon checked in with us nearly every show in the past couple of years thanks to our IWS Israeli correspondent, Masada Schlongstein...


Even our former hot, bi-sexual curious correspondent Kim Fragile would spend hours in and out of Ariel Sharon's coma bed...


Ariel Sharon was very near and dear to the hearts and souls of all us here at IWS Radio, and in addition to naming Mr. Sharon our person of the week, we send a hearty, hail and farewell to the Great Whitish Yahwhale who wails no longer...


Here's to Ariel Sharon, may his faculties return when he enters the Kingdom of Heaven.

And in other news...

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are bringing the funny tonight as they cut down some self-involved big shots like a mob of pissed off Christians mowing down a Palestinian refugee camp, as IWS Radio broadcasts LIVE from 8-10 PM ET.

Join us LIVE tonight on Blog Talk Radio as we broadcast our Hit With Me Your Best Shot Show LIVE from 8-10 PM ET.

To join the fun, frivolity, and satirical decapitation of assholes in politics and media, click HERE!!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Living in a Van Down by the River

Cheers Bitches, and Happy Monday…Matt-Man here.

There are quite a few things going on and going down in my life this week, so I’d thought I’d do a pre-cap of all the action that will be unfolding, so when I go over the edge, you’ll know what is going on and why I will have lost my mind.

Found out yesterday that my BFF/OSP Schmoop who hasn't worked since October 22 due to health issues, has been denied at least her first two weeks of unemployment compensation, and may not get any whatsoever.

Apparently, her newly former boss who laid her off, claims to the powers that be, when questioned by the those who give the thumbs up or down to a claimant’s request, that…

“Laid her off!?  Oh no, that’s crazy talk.  There’s plenty of work for her to do here.”

The whiplash that I incurred when Schmoop informed me that that is what the folks at unemployment told her that that is what they had been told by said boss left me feeling and sounding like Dr. Phil.

I…was…STUPIFIED!!

The entire thing would be inexplicable except for one incredibly undeniable and transparent fact…her newly former boss is, and always has been, a completely selfish and self-centered dick who has no regard for anyone unless they are making money for him.

And here is what really disconcerting and foremost in my mind…This Friday, the lovely, yet soon to be indigent Schmoop is going under the knife at OSU Medical Center.

She will be on the table and under the knife for anywhere from 4-7 hours, as Dr. Rawalpindi removes a mass from her bile duct.

It’s bad enough that she has to worry about that, but due to the actions of her newly former boss, she has to worry that after her discharge from the hospital, which will take anywhere from 7-10 days, Schmoop will have to worry if she and we, have a home in which to stay come January.

Am I being hokie?  Am I being melodramatic?

No.

During the chaos surrounding her surgery , the battles over not being compensated, and the trepidation she has over the possibility of having cancer, Schmoop has had only one overriding fear and a singular point of ultimate sorrow…

She said to me…

“This apartment, for as small as it is, is home. I never felt that way at my house growing up, nor when I lived with John, but this is our home, and I don’t want to lose it.”

Here is what this unfeeling, un-thinking, ego-centric, self -serving jerk of a boss doesn’t understand…

With the arrogant and flippant statement he made to the folks at the unemployment office, he not only prevented Schmoop from garnering her opulent unemployment salary of $230.00 per week, he may have kicked her out of the home she loves as well.

Perhaps he doesn't realize that, or…perhaps he does.  Either way…

Even after twelve years of dedicated and loyal service on Schmoop’s behalf to him and his company, confidence is high that he doesn't really care.

And sadly, because of his actions, instead of merely worrying about her surgery, Schmoop has to worry about the financial situation as well.

Well…As I am not one to stand idly by, I will make sure he has to worry about his as well.  Letting his customers know the truth about him and his business practices is one way to do just that.

It won’t make our financial situation any better, but when Schmoop and I are living in a van down by the river, it’ll make me feel much better.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

On a lighter note…Jay and I broadcast a most festive and astounding celebration of Hanukkah on the IWS Radio Show Saturday night.  We had music, frivolity, and a regaling of all things Jewish.  We also checked-in with Dour Mike and Ariel Sharon.  If you missed it live, you can catch the magic right here:


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Muammar Gaddafi in Hiding

Hallo my underpinnings…Happy Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution of Libya, Muammar Gaddafi here, however…

Where exactly is, “here?”

That is for me to know and you to not find out so much. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!

Tell you what…Supreme Ruler give you hint…

I am resting mostly in comfort in an indisclosed, center of command where the waters run cool and the shadows never speak.

It is from here that I will direct my return to my rightful seat of rule as the benevolent, full of triumph, all seeing monocle of Libya.

I can hold out as long as it takes to win my people back, as my supplies are well and plentiful.

I have much Hot Pita Pockets on hand and a new microwave, thus any rumors of me running stray and hungry, are mere entrées of propaganda served upon a cold plate of hate, by waiters of unscrupulous menus.

Although…As my microwave is solar powered, I do miss my midnight snack. I’ll have Chi-Chi do something about that, but I digest…

Listen my acolytes, my apostles, my peeps…This unfounded insurrection against my stern, but loving hand of governance, is a direct result of the secret, Zionist Brainwashing Program initiated by Israel in 2006.

That’s right, friends of mine. The Zionist thugs of Israel having been keeping a secret from you. Hear me now, and ridicule me later, but for now, allow your ears to become, “The Lobes of Truth.”

You may think former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had a stroke in 2006 and has been in a coma to this day. No my friends, that is the great untrue.

Sharon was knocked unconscious, and after inserting a microchip transponder that plays verses of the Torah and cuts from Jew Girl, Marlo Thomas’ Free to Be…You and Me into his brain, was blasted into orbit on a rocket called, Big Maccabee I.

The “Arab Spring” of which people speak is not a grass roots movement formed on the fertile ground of the Muslim world, but is rather a hellish attack from the heavens perpetrated by Hymies.

And let me tell you, if it takes me to be blasted into orbit in order to end this reign of Tel Avivivian terror, I shall do just that.

Strap me in…fire up the engines…and stock plenty of Hot Pita Pockets. 

Muammar is on a mission to Planet Moses, and the M-Man is gonna plant the flag of Allah smack dab in the middle of his dead head.

Shalom,

M-Gad Bling