Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Muammar Gaddafi in Hiding

Hallo my underpinnings…Happy Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution of Libya, Muammar Gaddafi here, however…

Where exactly is, “here?”

That is for me to know and you to not find out so much. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!

Tell you what…Supreme Ruler give you hint…

I am resting mostly in comfort in an indisclosed, center of command where the waters run cool and the shadows never speak.

It is from here that I will direct my return to my rightful seat of rule as the benevolent, full of triumph, all seeing monocle of Libya.

I can hold out as long as it takes to win my people back, as my supplies are well and plentiful.

I have much Hot Pita Pockets on hand and a new microwave, thus any rumors of me running stray and hungry, are mere entrées of propaganda served upon a cold plate of hate, by waiters of unscrupulous menus.

Although…As my microwave is solar powered, I do miss my midnight snack. I’ll have Chi-Chi do something about that, but I digest…

Listen my acolytes, my apostles, my peeps…This unfounded insurrection against my stern, but loving hand of governance, is a direct result of the secret, Zionist Brainwashing Program initiated by Israel in 2006.

That’s right, friends of mine. The Zionist thugs of Israel having been keeping a secret from you. Hear me now, and ridicule me later, but for now, allow your ears to become, “The Lobes of Truth.”

You may think former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had a stroke in 2006 and has been in a coma to this day. No my friends, that is the great untrue.

Sharon was knocked unconscious, and after inserting a microchip transponder that plays verses of the Torah and cuts from Jew Girl, Marlo Thomas’ Free to Be…You and Me into his brain, was blasted into orbit on a rocket called, Big Maccabee I.

The “Arab Spring” of which people speak is not a grass roots movement formed on the fertile ground of the Muslim world, but is rather a hellish attack from the heavens perpetrated by Hymies.

And let me tell you, if it takes me to be blasted into orbit in order to end this reign of Tel Avivivian terror, I shall do just that.

Strap me in…fire up the engines…and stock plenty of Hot Pita Pockets. 

Muammar is on a mission to Planet Moses, and the M-Man is gonna plant the flag of Allah smack dab in the middle of his dead head.


M-Gad Bling


Jay said...

When in doubt, blame Israel. Good move by Mr. Gaddafi, Kadafi, Qaddafi, Gah-Dah-Fee or whatever. Blaming Israel gets him nowhere in America, other than some heavily armed, fenced in compounds in Idaho, but it will play well in his neighborhood.

- Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Although Jayman...Tea Partiers have mixed feeling about the Rebels as well. While they hate the fact that they are still Muslims, they love the fact that they overturned a government. Cheers!!


Mike said...

Matt, don't forget that the TP's are pissed about the new Iraq government (as well as Afganistans) and will be just as pissed about the new Libian one.

And hey Kwaafee, were coming after you like we did bin Ladin. So relax for 10 or so years.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I still say you guys hit the hooka long and hard before this one