Oshie Can You See the IWS Person of the Week!?

The IWS Person(s) of the Week is TEAM USA HOCKEY! In case you missed it, and if you did shame on you, USA defeated Russia yesterday in a thrilling shootout!

The big hero of the day, the guy putting the biscuit in the basket during the shootout was T.J. Oshie!

T.J. is a fine example of what American Exceptionalism is all about!

And while T.J. was doing the scoring, Jonathan Quick was standing tall between the pipes stoning the Russians!

Another All-American man!

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand don’t for get to get updated on all the news, weather and sports by Matt-Man, Jayman and the whole gang at IWSRadio Sunday night at 8 pm ET!!!!

Matt Said, Jay Said...Unfocused Like A Fox

Matt’s mind wanders…Jay’s think melon is distracted, you ask…Can’t the two of you focus on one thing?

Matt:  What up dawg?
Jay:  Nothing other than getting ready to enjoy some temps in the 50’s as soon as Friday.
Matt:  Ohhhhh…goooood…fooooor…yooooou.
Jay:  I thought you’d be happy for me.
Matt:  Eh, actually I am, at least one of us isn't miserable weather-wise.
Jay:  We could talk about that this Sunday.
Matt:  Talk about what?

Jay:  Talk about this miserable winter FINALLY showing signs of departing.
Matt:  We could do that, because it’s suppose to moderate here next week.
Jay:  But then again, we should also talk about the happenings in Sochi.
Matt:  True…The Olympics will be winding down this Sunday.
Jay:  We should talk about how those fucking Norwegians are cheating their way to the top.
Matt:  I HATE the Norwegians, and their crimes against humanity within their prisons.

Jay:  Okay…We’ll talk weather and the Olympics.  Cool.
Matt:  But Jayman…This Monday is also President’s Day; we should touch on that as well.
Jay:  Yeah.  You’re right.  Okay we’ll do some funny Presidential stuff as well.
Matt:  Hail to the Funny!!
Jay:  We’ll impeach all of the President’s through humor.
Matt:  We’ll skewer them with four score and seven jokes.
Jay:  Okay, okay…save it for the show.
Matt:  Aight.

Jay:  Okay…We’ll talk weather, Olympics, and President’s Day.  Cool.
Matt:  And we should probably re-cap Valentine’s Day.
Jay:  Good point.  We'll figure out and report on how many millions of worthless dollars were spent.
Matt:  And get a body bag count of how many people died from a broken heart.

Jay:  Okay…We’ll talk weather, Olympics, President’s Day, and Valentine’s Day.  Cool.
Matt:  Wow…we’re going to be all over the place topic wise.
Jay:  I know…Hmmmmmm?  Maybe we need some help covering all of this.
Matt:  Well…I can ask Stubby Stonehenge, Phil Diller, Malcolm Eckstein, and Tammy Tibbles to weigh in.
Jay:  Excellent.  I’ll see if Dixie Ozark, Martin, Joshua, and maybe Aunt Jax are available.

Matt:  Holy Cow…This is going to be a huge and diverse show!!
Jay:  Just like our IWS Radio audience.
Matt:  It’s gonna be a veritable potpourri of information and laughter!!
Jay: It’s gonna be a Potpourri Extravaganza!!

Matt and Jay:  What a great title…Potpourri Extravaganza!!
Jay:  News!!
Matt:  Weather!!
Jay:  Sports!!

Matt:  I think we are more than ready.
Jay:  I know we are.
Matt:  We’re fucking geniuses…er…genii.
Jay:  It’s okay…geniuses sounds better.
Matt:  Word.
Jay:  Byyyyyyyyye.
Matt:  Byyyyyyyye.

Catch IWS Radio LIVE this Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

We are going to cover everything that is happening on this Big Blue Marble of ours and cover you in laughter.

So to listen LIVE click HERE, and remember, you can always call-in at 661.244.9852.

See you Sunday on the radio!!     

We Must Save Curling in America

Hola y’all! As you probably know by now, the US men’s and women’s curling teams are a combined 0-5 at the Sochi Olympics. This is unacceptable. Obviously curling needs to be saved and quickly! This morning Matt-Man and I discussed the idea of an Olympic Bikini Curling League with Chrissy Teigen as the team captain, but she never responded on Twitter so that’s probably out. However, I do think I have an idea how to save curling in America.

We should make a fun movie about curling! You know, one of those “triumph of the human spirit” type movies. A uniquely American story where a guy overcomes a bunch of obstacles in his life, pulls himself up by his bootstraps and not only makes curling popular, but turns America in a world curling powerhouse. As we should be!

Our main character is a sad man who hasn’t really accomplished anything in life other than be elected as the mayor of Paducah, Kentucky. At first I thought of Matt Damon in this role, but I don’t think he’s that kind of guy. So, Kevin James it is! Of course, he needs a wife. The only logical person that a socially awkward overweight failed businessman who is elected mayor of a small town on the Ohio River could be married to would be played by Priyanka Chopra, right?

If you’re gonna have a simple, lovable mayor try to fulfill his dream of turning Paducah into the curling capital of the world and make it a tourist attraction then you have to have an evil enemy who wants to scuttle the whole thing for his own financial gain. That cruel, greedy and all-around sleazy guy will be played by Tom Hanks, of course.

Every evil man must be married to an equally evil, scheming and conniving cunt of a wife. Gwenyth Paltrow is perfect for this role. She could just play herself, right? No effort at all. But, I don’t want to give her that easy money opportunity. So, the only other option here is Sandra Bullock.

Basically Paducah, Kentucky is a poor, economically depressed town with no future and Mayor Kevin James has a plan to save the town by building the biggest curling center in the world. People are skeptical and Tom Hanks takes advantage of this and tries to get Kevin James recalled. If his evil plan works, Hanks could be mayor and take big kickbacks from coal and oil interests and possibly run for governor and then president someday.

It looks bleak for Mayor James and his young exotic wife when a miracle happens! America’s greatest curler shows up in town one day and is interested in his plan. The curler, played by Jared Leto loves it and brings in all kinds of fundraising from socially and environmentally aware groups and the recall fails!

Then the curling center is built and on opening day people come from all over the world to check it out. All the big sports cable networks are there and all are bidding big money to televise tournaments from the Paducah Curling Center and God Bless America!

It could totally work y’all! I bet it would … SWEEP … the Oscars! Hey-OOOO!!!

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The Olympics, American Idol and Valentine's Day

Everyone crowded into the Love Shack for another epic episode of IWS Radio this week and things got heated up in a hurry! Oh yeah! Matt-Man and Jayman took some time to review the brutal cold and snow of the last two weeks since our last show. Matt has been shoveling snow non-stop for what seems like forever and Jay has to clear snow and ice off his car and just pray that it starts every other day. We’ve both had enough of this shit!

We gave a special IWS Radio shout out to the one and only Jamie, our favorite Canadian who celebrated a birthday this week! Then, Jamie did a Love, Canadian Style report for us. Turns out those Canadians not only celebrate Valentine’s Day just like we do, they do it better. Of course they do!

There was also a shout out to Redneckville, Arkansas’ very own Tessa Kate who made it to Hollywood on American Idol! With that comes not only the support of our vast and diverse worldwide audience, but a standing invitation to Tessa to come on the show anytime she likes!

Then we got down and dirty talking about V-Day and all the good and bad things about this silly made up holiday. Okay, mostly the bad. In fact, there isn’t much good about it at all. We did give the guys some advice on how to try and make it a good day for their women, but we all know whatever they do, it won’t be enough. But, Bobby Kraft did explain how, with a little planning it could be a win-win situation!

The Schmoopster updated us on the wild and crazy times of an unemployed chick. She talked about how exciting it was to attend an Employment Seminar and all the wonderful folks she met. Oh! And a nice older gentleman who lives close to the Bagwine Digs who has taken a bit of a shine to Schmoop. What a sweet story that was!

Slyder Balzcock reported live from Sockeye, Russia located on the banks of the Yellow Sea to tell us what all is happening at the Olympics. Also a nice shout out from the IWS Radio crew to Olympic skater Gracie Gold who grew up mostly in a town not too far from Redneckville! We’re all pulling for you Gracie!!

Paul Piatt brought his A-game this week with some really uplifting and hopeful poetry! Drew Peacock voiced an ad for Kinky Karen’s Good Vibrations stores! That was HAWT! And of course Joshua debuted his first every movie review! Since it was a Valentine’s Show he decided to review “Brokeback Mountain” and boy does that sound like a great movie!

Plus we took a call from Debbie in New Jersey and talked Superstorm Sandy, Chris Christie, riding the bus to school, Catholic school girls and their sexy uniforms and all kinds of other fun stuff! What an awesome person Debbie is!

All that and soooooo much more y’all! Totally check this show out! Please?

Find Additional Comedy Podcasts with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Saying Goodbye to Jay Leno on MSJS

Matt: Holaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jay: Cheers!!!
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: I’m cold dammit! That’s how I am!
Matt: YOU’RE COLD? Try shoveling snow every other day.
Jay: You enjoy that shit.
Matt: Enjoy-ED! Past tense buddy. This is bullshit!
Jay: You got that right.
Matt: I’m tired of 20 layers of clothes.
Jay: And wondering if the car will start.
Matt: And frozen ears, noses and fingers.
Jay: And shriveled up ball sacks.
Matt: We could have done without that visual.
Jay: Gotta let the people know how bad it is.
Matt: Well, true dat. How’s your parking lot?
Jay: Tara Lipinski could do a skating routine on it.
Matt: That would be fun to see.

Jay: Oh dude! Speaking of the Olympics…
Matt: Were we?
Jay: Kind of.
Matt: Okay, carry on then.
Jay: Ludmila Privivkova isn’t on the Russian Curling team this time!
Matt: Oh no!!!
Jay: IKR? I’m devastated.
Matt: What happened?
Jay: I guess she got too old and couldn’t keep up.
Matt: Sports is brutal on people as they age.
Jay: Yeah, curling is probably hard on the knees.
Matt: And the elbows and wrists pushing that broom so hard.
Jay: Sad to see the greats leave the game though.
Matt: True. Hey, did she ever approve your Facebook friend request?
Jay: No!
Matt: So rude!
Jay: IKR? That’s okay though, I dumped her.
Matt: Oh really? For whom?
Jay: I sent her replacement Anna Sidorova a friend request today.
Matt: Well done sir!

Jay: Well it only makes sense to do that right before Valentine’s Day.
Matt: You make a good point.
Jay: Just like it only makes sense to talk love and shit this week on IWS.
Matt: Dude! You’re on a roll!
Jay: We really need to blow the lid of this bullshit V-Day crap.
Matt: Oh we’re going too!
Jay: Drew Peacock might have some thoughts on it.
Matt: You know Paul Piatt does.
Jay: Pfffffttt … V-Day is made for him!
Matt: And Slyder is covering the Olympics.
Jay: Of course! We MIGHT have a Smug report too.
Matt: That would be nice. Also? Aunt Jackie might do a song!
Jay: She as the voice of an angel dude!
Matt: That she does.
Jay: Buddy Acapella should do something too.
Matt: A medley of bad love songs.
Jay: That is freaking brilliant!
Matt: Word.
Jay: I’m sure we can get Bobby Kraft to chime in.
Matt: And Schmoop
Jay: And who knows what else we’ll come up with.
Matt: Our imagination knows no bounds.
Jay: True dat.
Matt: Damn this show is gonna RAWK!
Jay: I can’t wait!
Matt: Me either!

Also, Matt-Man and Jayman would like to take a moment to honor our friend and colleague Jay Leno as he ends his amazing 22 year run on the Tonight Show. Best of luck to you in the future and you have a standing invitation to join us on IWS Radio anytime you want!  

Tune into “It’s as Hot as an Oven in the Love Shack” Sunday at 8 pm ET and let’s give Valentine’s Day the treatment it deserves!