Saying Goodbye to Jay Leno on MSJS

Matt: Holaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jay: Cheers!!!
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: I’m cold dammit! That’s how I am!
Matt: YOU’RE COLD? Try shoveling snow every other day.
Jay: You enjoy that shit.
Matt: Enjoy-ED! Past tense buddy. This is bullshit!
Jay: You got that right.
Matt: I’m tired of 20 layers of clothes.
Jay: And wondering if the car will start.
Matt: And frozen ears, noses and fingers.
Jay: And shriveled up ball sacks.
Matt: We could have done without that visual.
Jay: Gotta let the people know how bad it is.
Matt: Well, true dat. How’s your parking lot?
Jay: Tara Lipinski could do a skating routine on it.
Matt: That would be fun to see.

Jay: Oh dude! Speaking of the Olympics…
Matt: Were we?
Jay: Kind of.
Matt: Okay, carry on then.
Jay: Ludmila Privivkova isn’t on the Russian Curling team this time!
Matt: Oh no!!!
Jay: IKR? I’m devastated.
Matt: What happened?
Jay: I guess she got too old and couldn’t keep up.
Matt: Sports is brutal on people as they age.
Jay: Yeah, curling is probably hard on the knees.
Matt: And the elbows and wrists pushing that broom so hard.
Jay: Sad to see the greats leave the game though.
Matt: True. Hey, did she ever approve your Facebook friend request?
Jay: No!
Matt: So rude!
Jay: IKR? That’s okay though, I dumped her.
Matt: Oh really? For whom?
Jay: I sent her replacement Anna Sidorova a friend request today.
Matt: Well done sir!

Jay: Well it only makes sense to do that right before Valentine’s Day.
Matt: You make a good point.
Jay: Just like it only makes sense to talk love and shit this week on IWS.
Matt: Dude! You’re on a roll!
Jay: We really need to blow the lid of this bullshit V-Day crap.
Matt: Oh we’re going too!
Jay: Drew Peacock might have some thoughts on it.
Matt: You know Paul Piatt does.
Jay: Pfffffttt … V-Day is made for him!
Matt: And Slyder is covering the Olympics.
Jay: Of course! We MIGHT have a Smug report too.
Matt: That would be nice. Also? Aunt Jackie might do a song!
Jay: She as the voice of an angel dude!
Matt: That she does.
Jay: Buddy Acapella should do something too.
Matt: A medley of bad love songs.
Jay: That is freaking brilliant!
Matt: Word.
Jay: I’m sure we can get Bobby Kraft to chime in.
Matt: And Schmoop
Jay: And who knows what else we’ll come up with.
Matt: Our imagination knows no bounds.
Jay: True dat.
Matt: Damn this show is gonna RAWK!
Jay: I can’t wait!
Matt: Me either!

Also, Matt-Man and Jayman would like to take a moment to honor our friend and colleague Jay Leno as he ends his amazing 22 year run on the Tonight Show. Best of luck to you in the future and you have a standing invitation to join us on IWS Radio anytime you want!  

Tune into “It’s as Hot as an Oven in the Love Shack” Sunday at 8 pm ET and let’s give Valentine’s Day the treatment it deserves!

Matt Said, Jay Said: 24.7.365

Matt inhales, Jay exhales, You close your eyes and pray for the sweet release of death.

Matt: Don’t say anything funny while I’m inhaling.
Jay: How bout when you’re exhaling?
Matt: That’s okay.
Jay: Kinda weird.
Matt: Why?
Jay: Cause you’re pretty much only inhaling or exhaling, right?
Matt: No.
Jay: So you spend a lot of time not breathing?
Matt: NOOO .. Inhaling when I’m smoking silly!
Jay: Ohhhhhhhhh
Matt: Don’t say anything funny when I’m inhaling my cigarette.
Jay: I’ll try.
Matt: I need you to do more than try.
Jay: Dude. I can’t always control the funny.
Matt: Well, that’s a good point.
Jay: AAAAAAAAAND
Matt: Don’t say it.
Jay: You should stop inhaling.
Matt: Can I exhale?
Jay: I guess, but what’s the point.
Matt: Whatever. I’ll quit when I feel like it.
Jay: Whatever.

Matt: Mushroom burgers for dinner tonight.
Jay: Delicious!
Matt: What are you having?
Jay: Spaghetti
Matt: Oh yeah! We had skets last weekend.
Jay: What the hell is “skets?”
Matt: “Skets” … “Sketti” … “Spaghetti?”
Jay: You made that up!
Matt: Yeah.
Jay: You Ohio people … Just making shit up.
Matt: Schmoop and I call Spaghetti “Sketti” or “Skets”
Jay: I guess I can see “sketti” but not “skets”
Matt: What’s the difference?
Jay: “Skets” sounds like the plural of “Sketti”
Matt: And?
Jay: Did you have multiple spaghetti dinners?
Matt: Actually, yes.
Jay: Uhh … Well OKAY THEN!

Matt: Got a title for Saturday’s show?
Jay: Hookers and Blow?
Matt: Ha! And talk about ….
Jay: Golf and the weather I guess.
Matt: Well, we can preview The Master’s
Jay: Exactly! And, IDK, the FINAL FOUR!
Matt: Right! Obviously, this weekend needs Slyder Balzcock.
Jay: Definitely. And we can talk about Kevin Ware’s leg.
Matt: *shudder*
Jay: IKR? Have you done a Google Image Search for that?
Matt: Fuck no!
Jay: Good choice. Oh! Leno out at NBC!
Matt: Speaking of a whore!
Jay: Exactly! We might have thoughts on Kamala Harris.
Matt: And maybe just all the Media Whores in general.
Jay: Oh yeah, we can go on and on about that all day.
Matt: And maybe Kirk Douglas weather for the Master’s.
Jay: He can do it!
Matt: This is gonna rock!
Jay: Maybe we’ll call a few people?
Matt: And maybe they’ll pick up!
Jay: Wouldn’t that be cool!
Matt: Okay, we’re ready!
Jay: Damn right we are!

Be sure to tune into “Hookers and Blow” on IWS Radio this Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!