What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What Are We Praying For?

Hola Faithful Ones! I downloaded and read Christopher Hitchens’ last book Mortality over the weekend. In it he talks a lot about prayer. Of course, Hitch focuses mostly on prayer as it applies to people forcing their religion on him and how religion sucks and there is no God. But, prayer is something I've given a lot of thought to over the years and to be honest, I’m still not convinced it does much good.

I went to the Holy Family Shrine in Omaha once. I actually went there to pray for someone. It’s probably the only time I’ve ever done anything like that. I even signed the little book and included who I was praying for and why just in case someone else needed someone to pray for. Then I grabbed some free rosary beads and left. They had white ones and red ones. Not sure why two colors, I was just glad they weren’t red and blue so the congregation could be publicly divided by political preference.

Oh sure, like most things when it comes to religion it does help to make us feel better about people, places and things when we pray. And it makes us feel like we are doing something to help friends and loved ones when we feel like we can do nothing else for them. I guess there’s something to be said for prayer, like religion itself, bringing us comfort.

But, I wonder what we’re all actually praying for? Are we really praying for our friend with cancer, or someone going through a divorce or whatever, or are we just making ourselves feel better? A lot of people pray for “things.” They pray for fame or fortune or to do well on a test or to win a game or whatever. Surely those prayers get met with a “Well, you’ll have to do your part too” at a very minimum or hopefully a “Praying to God for personal gains or wins is a pretty selfish act, don’t you think?”

That would be similar to praying to change things, which seems a bit risky to me. Telling God he got something wrong might not be the best of ideas. “Yo God, it’s not my style to criticize but by the time I hit my mid 40’s I was supposed to be well off and good looking. Instead I’m fat and broke. What’s up with that shit?”

Lots of people also love to ask for prayers. They go on social media and say things like “My son is heading off to college tomorrow, could everyone please pray that he arrives safely and has a great first year.” I can see the “arrives safely part,” but going for the whole “great first year” seems to be asking a bit too much. I think less is probably more when it comes to prayers.

I admit to not being too much into prayer. Oh I’ve done it from time to time but try very hard not to pray for myself. Or if I do I try to point to God that there will be lots of positives for other, more deserving people, should he help me out. Hedging my bets is probably the best way to approach these things.

I’ve also had many people tell me that they were praying for me over the years. I was always appreciative even if I was a bit skeptical. I did ask one person specifically what she was praying for. “For you to see the light and become a Christian so your soul won’t be condemned to eternal damnations, of course!” I thought about telling her that she’s wasting her time because I was already a Christian, but decided not to. I would hate for her to think she’s been wasting quality praying time.

Besides, what if SHE’S the one who gets me into heaven?

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

In other news, on Sunday we celebrated PORN on IWS! It was a hilarious show as we talked about old school porn and obtaining porn before the internet. Also, a very special interview with Matt-Man talking about his days in the porn industry. And lots and lots more! Check it out ...


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Saturday, September 15, 2012

MSJS LIV

Matt verbally defrocks, Jay verbally defrocks…You, listen and gawk in awe.

Matt:  Hiya Chuckles; what be the shakes?
Jay:  The shakes?
Matt:  Yeah, the shakes.  The haps?
Jay:  The shakes?  The haps?  Are you inarticulately trying to ask me what is going on?
Matt:  Yes.
Jay:  So…you’re a 47 year old man, stuck in the 70’s, who’s speaking like he’s 12.
Matt:  Whoa, dude…I never knew YOU were a numbers guy too!!
Jay:  Word.

Matt:  So what should we talk about on Sunday’s Sho---Oh hell, I forgot to tell you…
Jay:  What!!?  Tell me what!!?
Matt:  Schmoop is no longer interested in marrying you.
Jay:  What!?  Why the fuck not?

Matt:  She read on Twitter today that you find cottage cheese to be disgusting.
Jay:  It is…It’s gross, it’s worse than mayonnaise, and I fucking hate mayonnaise.
Matt:  She likes mayo and was willing to let you slide on that, but she can’t forgive your disdain for cottage cheese.
Jay:  So…Instead of moving here, marrying me, and forcing me into a lifetime of being told what to do, when to do it, and feeding me shit that involves mayo and cottage cheese, I am once again relegated to the lifestyle of a single man?
Matt:  That’s about the size of it.

Jay:  I…am…crushed.
Matt:  You’ll get over it.
Jay:  I think I just did.  So, Sunday…How about a Porn Show?

Matt:  Haven’t we done one already?
Jay:  You would have thought so, but I checked, and no we haven’t.
Matt:  Wow…that’s weird.
Jay:  I know, right!!

Matt:  Alrighty then, porn it is.
Jay:  We can talk about our favorite stars.
Matt:  What snacks go best with porn.
Jay:  Porn movies we’d like to see be made.
Matt:  Jewish porn.
Jay:  Is there such a thing?  I mean Gold Meir was pretty freaking hot, but did she ever get naked on camera?

(Matt coughed, dropped the phone, and was told by Schmoop to get her a beer)

Matt:  So the Porn Show it is…Ha!!
Jay:  What’s so funny?
Matt:  I can see you titling the show, “Porn Extravaganza”, and BTR censoring the title.
Jay:  Ha!!  They’re pretty fucked up, but they allowed a show to air titled, “Worst Head Ever”, how could they censor a show titled, Porn Extravaganza?
Matt:  Eh, we’ll see.  Oh and dig it…Even though the marriage is off, Schmoop will talk dirty to you on air.
Jay:  If that happens, I have one word for you my friend, “HOT!!”

Matt:  Alright.
Jay:  Aight…I think we are set.

So, join Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio as they talk porn, live porn, make porn, and talk about Matt-Man’s dirty little secret that was his foray into porn.

You can catch the action live Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio by clicking HERE.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

They're Coming After Our Happiness


Hola Happy People! It’s March Madness time again! Oh yeah baby! Hours and hours of college basketball started yesterday and will continue for three weeks. Or is it four. Hell, it might be five, I don’t know.

What I do know is that this means we will be inundated with stories about how much the NCAA Tournament costs companies in lost productivity. Every year it’s the same. And every year it’s pretty much bullshit. If you listen to these people you’d think that the average American worker just screws his employer over on a daily basis. According to articles written in publications and discussed on cable news channels owned by HUGE corporations, Americans are so fucking underworked and overpaid it’s just ridiculous.

Along with that, we’ll also get all kinds of stories of police departments all over the country raiding people’s homes and arresting them for running a NCAA Tourney Pool. And then they’ll act like they busted the fucking Corleone family and shut down the gambling rackets.

God forbid you should have a little fucking enjoyment out of life. If you put five bucks into a tournament pool and pick the games with hopes of winning the astronomical sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, then we’ll bring the entire weight of our armed police forces down on you. Then prosecute you using our army of publicity (and higher office) seeking prosecutors with nearly unlimited resources.

Politicians love to talk about “liberties” being under assault. And while that’s true there’s something else that is under a full frontal assault in this country:

Our Happiness.

More than anything else it’s the things that make us happy, or give us pleasure, that politicians and do-gooder groups are going after. People like Rick Santorum and his promise to have the government go after pornography, Mika Brzezinski and Michael Bloomberg’s Food Police and other groups on the left who go after smokers, and on the right who go after drinking and gambling are trampling on your pursuit of happiness. They’re so afraid that you might be getting a little pleasure out of life and they’re bound and determined to stop it.

There are still others who think you might be getting too much enjoyment out of the internet and would like to heavily regulate it. Some people think you shouldn’t be allowed to watch certain TV shows even on premium channels. Hell, some groups don’t even want you to see certain comic strips because they’re dealing with subjects THEY are uncomfortable with.

These people won’t be happy until we’re all completely miserable. Oh, and until they have full control over every aspect of our lives. I swear, they make me want to light up a cigarette (or a doobie), open a bottle of Wild Irish Rose and watch a dirty movie on my computer while also watching Good Christian Bitches on TV and munching down on a HUGE all meat pizza all while placing a bet on a basketball game with my bookie and getting a hummer from a prostitute.

Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme and “all things in moderation” and some of those things are illegal, but who fucking cares! More than anything else we should be sure not to let these politicians and do-gooders take away our happiness while claiming to be “protecting our liberties”. And, most importantly, we shouldn’t let them doing it in the name of "morality"

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

--

Speaking of being happy and we were, Sunday on I’m With Stupid Matt-Man and I brought the happy on “The Feel Good Show!” We talked about people place and things that make us happy. We talked about making other people happy and how that makes us happy. And we even talked about how just seeing our friends happy actually makes us happy.

Try as we might, we couldn’t get anyone to call in and be happy with us, which was a little sad, but we’re professionals so we kept up the feel good attitude all the way through. And, of course we made EVERYONE happy by having another Pee Break with Schmoop segment.

So, help spread the happy by listening early and often. As always, we appreciate your listening.


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Fear and Loathing


The show this week might have been titled “Fear and Loathing” but it turned out to be all “Fun and Hilarity!”  We talked about Phobias and Fears. But, instead of a dark show filled with anxiety, it turned out to be nothing but jocularity. 

The Official Hot Mess of I’m With Stupid, Shine State Shirley called in, and as usual, she kept things lively and kept the conversation moving. And, as if that isn’t enough, Shirley’s exact opposite Mike called in.  Mike’s slow and steady approach to life was the perfect counter-balance to Shirley’s balls-out, full throttle attitude. Add to that mix your always professional hosts and you have a hot, delicious plate of Radio Magic. 

Also, in doing our research, we came across some rare and obscure phobias… 

Pornagraphobia:  The fear that women will expect men to be able to perform the same way men in porno movies can. Results in shrinkage. 

Bamaphobia: The fear that any time you turn on the TV you will be subjected to Emeril Lagasse.

Snotaloaphobia:  An anxiety disorder that happens in some guys when they meet a really attractive girl or have to speak in front of others and their anxiety triggers their allergies and they sneeze 6 or 7 times and snot gets all over their upper lip. 

Billymaysaphobia: The fear of very loud and overly-animated TV pitchmen.

Akwardaphobia:  The fear that at some point during a social gathering you will say something really stupid that results in a long awkward silence and nobody able to even look you in the eye for like an hour. 

Femmemelodramticaphobia: The fear of all things Lifetime Network related. 

Ignoraphobia:  This is where a person logs onto Skype or GTalk or some other messaging site and sees that nobody else is online and is pretty sure that EVERYONE has put them on ignore.

We didn’t really get a chance to discuss them on the show because things were just too wild and crazy. So, our egos demanded that we share our brilliance with you guys here. 

Anyway, we really do highly recommend that you check out this week’s show. It was a really good time. Thank you for your support. 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio


And, don’t forget! Next week will be our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

My Porn Comedy Dream ...


One of the things that might come as a surprise to you is that I’m not a fan of porn.  It bores me.  I don’t find it exciting or anything.  I also actually think it does do more damage to society than most of its proponents are willing to admit.  Porn and MTV are probably the two worst things ever to happen to society. 

But, having said that, it has always been a dream of mine to write, direct and produce a pornographic movie.  Not star in one though. Nobody would watch that.  I have a few people in mind who I think would be great in one though! 

My idea for a great porn movie would be a smart comedy that just happens to be a porno.  It would have the standard girl/girl, girl/guy, guy/guy, blow job, masturbation and orgy scenes that all pornos are required to have. But, it would also be a funny movie with snappy dialog.  I think Gilmore Girls would have made a great porn comedy. 

What’s that? Oh, you’re kind of hung up on that “guy/guy” part. Okay, we’ll take that out if it makes you uncomfortable.  Hee hee … I said “hung.”  But, I do think the comedy idea is a very good one.  Maybe for my first movie I should just go with one girl/girl scene and one girl/guy scene. Put more of the focus on the dialog and superior direction and lighting compared to other porno movies.  Then, after some commercial success, I’ll expend into other genres. 

Anyhoodle, I decided that I need to make a list of the items I’ll need to make this first movie.

- A laptop to write and edit the movie on
- A camera to shoot with.
- Actors and actresses.
- Fruit roll ups and Red Bull for snack time.
- Lube. Lots and lots of lube.
- A room at Motel 6
- A can of Raid
- A Plastic Jesus
- Rubber sheets
- Baby oil
- A dog. What? Dogs are hilarious and always steal every scene they’re in.
- Condoms
- Enzyte. The natural male enhancement.
- Multiple lights and lamps
- A lawyer
- Candles
- Lots of towels and some soap.
- A Fluffer
- Toys
- Music
- A backup camera and extra tripod
- Kleenex and paper towels.

Okay, that’s all I can come up with for now. But, I think I can gather most of those items right here around the luxury estates in Redneckville. We don’t have a Motel 6, but we do have a Super 8 that is stuck in the 70’s.  If nothing else, I can use the Motel 6 up in Springfield. It’s a real dump, so it should be cheap. I think I’ll see if anyone who is part of the local community theater group would like to be in the movie. I think professional porn stars would be too difficult to deal with. And, I want to avoid dealing with a union.

I think I’m off to a pretty good start here. The most difficult thing will be to come up with a good title for the movie. Just like blog posts. 

Monday, July 11, 2011

Casey Anthony, Porn, Slavery and Jeter...


It was another EPIC episode of “I'm With Stupid” this morning kids. Today we hit on the hot topics big news of the past week and other fun and exciting things. We thoroughly analyzed the Casey Anthony verdict and determined that a large percentage of the people who were OMG OUTRAGED over the not guilty verdict and big old fucking hypocrites.

We also discussed Tim Pawlenty's outrageous and totally uncalled for (even if totally true) attacks on Michele Bachmann's record. And of course we had a few thoughts on Bachmann and Rick Santorum signing this looney pledge from this group The Family Leader vowing, among other things, to ban pornography AND stating that kids born into slavery were better off than black kids born into “Obama's America.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaand we very professionally analyzed Derek Jeter's 3,000 career hit and the sports media's reaction to him which was something along the lines of “Ohhh Derek we love you sooooooo much!!! Would you bend over and let us kiss your ass non-stop and **kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss** Ohhhh you're so handsome and morally pure too. And so humble. And sooooo cute! Ohhhhh Derek we want to have your babies.”

Then Vinny Bond came on the line and we were just beginning to have a great Tim Tebow vs Derek Jeter discussion when BTR decided we had been on the air long enough. Sorry about that Vinny! But, everyone listen to Music on the Couch every Monday night at 10 pm EDT on Blog Talk Radio! It's a great show.

Anyway, if you'd like to listen, and I know that you would, just use the sweet, aesthetically pleasing BTR radio machine here, or if you're reading via the Google Machine, we've enclosed a link that will magically cause an audio player to appear at the bottom of the page. As always, we appreciate your support and love each and every one of you unconditionally.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio