What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Jenna Jameson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jenna Jameson. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What Are We Praying For?

Hola Faithful Ones! I downloaded and read Christopher Hitchens’ last book Mortality over the weekend. In it he talks a lot about prayer. Of course, Hitch focuses mostly on prayer as it applies to people forcing their religion on him and how religion sucks and there is no God. But, prayer is something I've given a lot of thought to over the years and to be honest, I’m still not convinced it does much good.

I went to the Holy Family Shrine in Omaha once. I actually went there to pray for someone. It’s probably the only time I’ve ever done anything like that. I even signed the little book and included who I was praying for and why just in case someone else needed someone to pray for. Then I grabbed some free rosary beads and left. They had white ones and red ones. Not sure why two colors, I was just glad they weren’t red and blue so the congregation could be publicly divided by political preference.

Oh sure, like most things when it comes to religion it does help to make us feel better about people, places and things when we pray. And it makes us feel like we are doing something to help friends and loved ones when we feel like we can do nothing else for them. I guess there’s something to be said for prayer, like religion itself, bringing us comfort.

But, I wonder what we’re all actually praying for? Are we really praying for our friend with cancer, or someone going through a divorce or whatever, or are we just making ourselves feel better? A lot of people pray for “things.” They pray for fame or fortune or to do well on a test or to win a game or whatever. Surely those prayers get met with a “Well, you’ll have to do your part too” at a very minimum or hopefully a “Praying to God for personal gains or wins is a pretty selfish act, don’t you think?”

That would be similar to praying to change things, which seems a bit risky to me. Telling God he got something wrong might not be the best of ideas. “Yo God, it’s not my style to criticize but by the time I hit my mid 40’s I was supposed to be well off and good looking. Instead I’m fat and broke. What’s up with that shit?”

Lots of people also love to ask for prayers. They go on social media and say things like “My son is heading off to college tomorrow, could everyone please pray that he arrives safely and has a great first year.” I can see the “arrives safely part,” but going for the whole “great first year” seems to be asking a bit too much. I think less is probably more when it comes to prayers.

I admit to not being too much into prayer. Oh I’ve done it from time to time but try very hard not to pray for myself. Or if I do I try to point to God that there will be lots of positives for other, more deserving people, should he help me out. Hedging my bets is probably the best way to approach these things.

I’ve also had many people tell me that they were praying for me over the years. I was always appreciative even if I was a bit skeptical. I did ask one person specifically what she was praying for. “For you to see the light and become a Christian so your soul won’t be condemned to eternal damnations, of course!” I thought about telling her that she’s wasting her time because I was already a Christian, but decided not to. I would hate for her to think she’s been wasting quality praying time.

Besides, what if SHE’S the one who gets me into heaven?

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

In other news, on Sunday we celebrated PORN on IWS! It was a hilarious show as we talked about old school porn and obtaining porn before the internet. Also, a very special interview with Matt-Man talking about his days in the porn industry. And lots and lots more! Check it out ...


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Monday, July 2, 2012

Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypses

Hola post-apocalyptic survivalists! Since Matt-Man refuses to dedicate an episode of IWS to preparing for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse no matter how big a boost we’d get in the ratings, I decided to do a post about it. Take that Mattcicle!

Anyway, I haven’t really given this whole thing too much thought. In fact, I’m so sick of both zombies and vampires (especially sparkly vampires and vampires with really stupid bad Louisiana accents) that I haven’t really made any preparations at all. But, I did decide that I should probably make a few plans just in case it really happens. Which it might, but I doubt it.

- Get and stay really drunk. This way I will stagger around and drool just like the zombies do and they’ll think I’m one of them. I’m already pale enough and cut myself shaving often enough to add to the look. This should work until one of them catches me eating pizza instead of brains.

- Place plates with “brains” on them around town. Only it won’t really be brains, it will be ground turkey mixed with an egg so it would hold together in a brains mold while it was baked. Then, after the zombies gorged on turkey “brains” the tryptophan would kick in and they would all need to take a nap. While they’re sleeping, I’ll kill each of them with a bullet to the head.

- Put on hockey helmet and mismatched clothes and stagger around drooling and just saying “duuuuhhhhh” while wiping my nose with my shirt sleeve. That will repulse the zombies and they’ll leave me alone.

- I’ll head up into the wood like Rambo did. I’ll carry nothing but some camping gear, a mess kit, knife and rifle. After finding a place to camp, I’ll kill whatever I can for food and just live off the land for as long as necessary. Ha! Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. I’ll be dead within a week if I try this one.

- I’ll just drive around in an Abrams M1A2 tank and take out all the zombies. I guess I’ll run out of fuel and ammo pretty quickly though, right? Hmm … That’s a problem. Oh I got it! I’ll simply modify it into a Nuclear Powered Jayman Armored Special with lasers and sound cannons that blow the head of every zombie within a half mile radius. That should be easy enough to do.

- Move into an impenetrable fortress that is nearly 10,000 square feet on three levels all underground with only one entry. That door, which is one foot thick steel, is behind an electrified gate. On top of the facility is a sniper’s nest with a 360 degree field of view, spotlights and lasers which will also have a weapons stockpile that would give Ted Nugent an erection. Also, the entire property is surrounded by a fiery moat. Inside is everything anyone could ever need to live for at least three years. Inside there will be huge amounts of canned foods, water, alcohol, Pepsi. It includes dance clubs, strip clubs, a movie theater, sports bar, luxurious bedrooms, a gym, indoor pool and hot tub and pizza parlor.

Dayum! Screw the zombies, I want that place anyway!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

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In other news we put on one of the best celebrations of Canada you’ll hear on internet radio ever! Sunday was Canada Day and Matt-Man and Jayman went all out for our very good friends to the north. We talked about our favorite (and least favorite) Canadians and dug up some little known facts about that truly great country. Be sure to check it out! You’ll be amazed!


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