Matt Said, Jay Said, In Written Form

Matt mumbles, Jay grumbles You listen intently. 

Matt: Well hey there!
Jay: Hidy Ho!
Schmoop: Hiya!
Jay: Oh hey there Schmoopalicious!
Schmoop: Matt had to pee
Jay: Already?
Schmoop: It’s cold here this morning.
Jay: Oh, I understand.
Schmoop: Luckily he’s a great multitasker.
Jay: True. Wait. What?
Schmoop: He’s prepping for show prep while peeing.
Jay: Oh okay.
Schmoop: Unfortunately he pees really fast and doesn’t get much prep done.
Jay: Man, things just never work out for that guy.
Schmoop: IKR?
Matt: Hey-OOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jay: You didn’t pee all over the seat did you?
Matt: God no! I’m not some kind of savage.
Jay: That’s good to know.
Matt: You probably just pee all over everywhere don’t you?
Jay: Noooooooooo … I do my best to maintain control.

Matt: Uh-huh … You quiet always in control types are dangerous.
Jay: Nah. When I blow it won’t be something that simple.
Matt: Any chance I can get a little warning so I’m not in the blast zone?
Jay: I’ll see what I can do.
Matt: Maybe you should aim your blast at From You Flowers?
Jay: Oh we will!
Matt: We’ll have to shoehorn that into the show Sunday.
Jay: We’re not just letting that go.
Matt: We can’t! 

Jay: We’re here to defend the good and decent people from shitty companies.
Matt: That’s right. We stand for truth, justice and the American way.
Jay: Totally.
Matt: Standing up for the little guy!
Jay: Holding people and corporations to the highest of standards.
Matt: Just like we do for ourselves.
Jay: Absolutlehahahahahaha … I mean, damn right!
Matt: Or something.

Jay: So it’s time for another show about writing?
Matt: Damn, this is so creepy.
Jay: What?
Matt: I was just thinking the same thing.
Jay: Man, that’s scary.
Matt: We can talk all about writing.
Jay: Oh yeah. Authors, books, the writing process.
Matt: Different styles of writing.
Jay: Who gets to call himself a writer.
Matt: Oh that one is getting tough.
Jay: Yeah, we’ll have to break that down for people.
Matt: In a totally fair and honest way.
Jay: That’s the only way we know how.
Matt: We can talk about what kind of writing we would LIKE to do.
Jay: How much we love to write UNLESS WE HAVE TO!
Matt: Then it’s more about getting it done than anything.
Jay: Yup and trying to include “click bait”
Matt: That’s a problem sometimes.
Jay: We can also talk about writing movies and TV shows.
Matt: And songwriting.
Jay: Oh hell yes!
Matt: And writing fiction vs non-fiction.
Jay: Yeah, essays, short stories and opinion pieces.
Matt: And the assholes who write for newspapers.
Jay: Oh man, there’s a lot of ‘em.
Matt: Paul Piatt, Guy and Tammy Tibbles!
Jay: Mediations by Martin, Bobby K w/ deep thoughts and Rev Moneymaker!
Matt: And whatever else we think of.
Jay: All about the writing process!
Matt: And the angst, loneliness and alcohol that comes with it.
Jay: Definitely.

So tune into “Write Drunk, Edit Sober” on IWS Radio Sunday night at 8 pm ET! Also, call us up and talk about your writing hopes and dreams. Or likes and dislikes. Or whatever. Just call us at 661.244.9852!

Matt Said, Jay Said...74>24 Degrees

Matt Fertilizes…Jay Fertilizes…You Grow.

Matt:  Hiya Chuckles!!
Jay:  What‘s Up?
Matt:  My blood alcohol concentration. I’m on my third Steel Reserve.
Jay:  Well make sure you take notes then, or we’ll be having this discussion again tomorrow.
Matt:  Okay hold on… writing down, “Take Notes.”  Got it.
Jay:  Oh this will be good.

Matt:  Hey!!
Jay:  What?
Matt:  It is so cool that Dana is going to be on our show Sunday to discuss her surgery.
Jay:  I know right?  After all the fun we have had, and continue to have at her expense, she’s coming on.
Matt:  Such a trooper.
Jay:  Man…as much shit as we have given her, she is a Super Trooper!!
Matt:  And she is getting healthy…getting in shape…good spring time thing to do.
Jay:  Oh Hell yeah.

Matt:  Hey…We could call this Sunday’s show…Spring Cleaning!!
Jay:  We could but that doesn’t really relate to Dana’s surgery.
Matt:  Yeah, okay.  Hmmmmm?
Jay:  We could however, incorporate the vernal rebirth of life and other things that come along with Spring.

Matt:  Damn right...Window opening.  Plant planting.  Gutter cleaning.
Jay:  Car tune-ups.  Becoming one with Nature.  Allergy sneezing.
Matt:  Cooking out.
Jay:  Drinking beer.
Matt and Jay:  Women wearing access-friendly, low-cut shirts, and high, tight shorts.  Sahhhhlute!!

Jay:  Oh shit dude!!
Matt:  Oh No!!  What?
Jay:  Dana has had some complications, and will be going back into the hospital, and can’t be on Sunday.
Matt:  Oh Holy Hell!!  That’s awful.
Jay:  I know…I hope she’s going to be okay.
Matt:  Well yeah…I mean, that too, but now we need a new guest on short notice.

Jay:  See?  That’s why some people just don’t like you.  Simply thinking about yourself.
Matt: I’m sorry.  I’ll put a shout out for prayers for Dana on Facebook.
Jay:  And you think that makes your cold and callous selfishness okay?
Matt:  Well, I mean…I cou---
Jay:  But…That was pretty rude of her to say she’d come on the show and then have complications.
Matt:  I know right!?

Jay:  I guess now WE have to get a hold of Martin, Jim Ed Dobbs, and Dixie Ozark so they can help out.
Matt:  Yep.  And Paul Piatt, Stubby Stonehenge, and perhaps that new Nursery down the road.
Jay:  Jesus Christ…When people get sick or have an operation, they never realize how it affects others.
Matt:  Tell me about it.  Schmoop still has this phantom tube sticking out of her gut.

Jay:  Well…in spite of Dana’s ill-timed remittance to Haughtier Than You Hospital, we’ll make it work.
Matt:  Because we are professionals.
Jay:  At least we have that.
Matt:  We’ll talk Spring and have a good time.
Jay:  Damn right, because at long last, Spring has sprung.

Matt:  Word, and maybe…people will call-in and tell us how much they love lack of winter.
Jay:  If they don’t, we can always blame it on Dana.
Matt:  And we will.
Jay:  Later Dude, guess I HAVE TO GET TO WORK NOW; THANKS DANA.
Matt:  Yeah…ME TOO, THANKS DANA!!

Jay and Matt:  But everyone…Join us LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET for the IWS Radio Show on Blog Talk Radio by clicking, HERE!!

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