Just Partying with Celebrities and Shit

Hola all you wild and crazy people. Man, the Holidays are a really busy time of year. This last week has been the busiest week of my life! I was all over the place! Check out my last week …

It all started last Sunday when Miley Cyrus came over to hang out, sing Christmas carols and twerk. We had a great time and it really got me into the Christmas spirit.

On Monday night I had to attend some silly charity event with Hayden Panetierre. It was a nice evening but I’m not much for these really formal affairs. Anyway, I got through it and didn’t do or say anything to embarrass Hayden who seemed to have a good time. Really sweet girl.

On Wednesday morning Adrianne Curry said she heard a noise outside of her house, but it turned out it was just me coming over to see what was up. I hadn’t talked to Adrianne in a whiel and thought maybe she would like to make some Christmas cookies or something. Sorry babe, didn’t mean to startle you or anything. Thanks for not calling the cops on me.

Thursday night was yet another stuffy, formal gathering with a bunch of hipsters. Seriously, if Keira Knightley wasn’t so much fun to hang out with, this would have been a super boring night. Keira saved the day though with her charm and great sense of humor. Also, we enjoyed several glasses of white wine.

Friday night things got really awkward. Taylor Swift called me up and wanted to go out and have a good time. And let me tell ya folks, Taylor is a GOOD TIME! Damn, she is a wild and crazy partier. I don’t know why she can’t be a little more calm and predictable like Miley, but I guess we are who we are. It was still a nice evening, I guess.

Finally I was right back where it all started yesterday afternoon singing Christmas carols and enjoying the beauty of the season. This time I was hanging out with the more age-appropriate Lauren Graham. She’s is so freaking cool. And HAWT! I’ll just leave it at that and let you use your imagination as to what all might have happened.

So, as you can see this last week has worn me out! I’ll probably already be visiting snoozerville when this post goes live and I’m definitely gonna relax a bit this week if I can.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

In other news it was yet another EPIC episode of IWS Radio yesterday! We held our annual Office Christmas Party and we had a HUGE crowd! First, Mike called in to let us know that BTR wasn’t working properly and we appreciated that very much. Then we had a brilliant performance of “Santa Baby” by Aunt Jackie, followed by bringing her onto the show to hang out with us. Damn, she’s sweet and charming. Our Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie gave us a report from up north and then hung out with also. As if that wasn’t enough RockDog, Brown Beasely and of course Schmoop were also there!!! It was pandemonium people! You should definitely check this show out and tell all your friends! 

More Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Santa Claus is a Busy Man

Hola and Ho Ho Ho to all the good little boys and girls (and to the naughty girls), Santa Claus is guest posting for I’m With Stupid. That’s right bitches, the big man himself is here to let you know that he’s not jolly. Not one bit.

You know why? Because everybody and their dog but me is getting a reality show. If those boring (big) ass Kardashians can have a show, I should have one too. Here’s an example of a typical day:

5:00 am: Wake up to custom alarm playing “Jingle Bells.”
5:01 am: Take long, satisfying piss.
5:04 am: Ask Mrs. Claus if she’s up for a little morning action.
5:05 am: Dejectedly leave the bedroom and start the coffee going.
5:07 am: Check official email and find the box full. Leave for assistants.
5:08 am: Check personal email and find two offers for cheap Viagra and one from some chick in Nigeria claiming to need help moving $10,000,000 dollars. Put Nigeria lady on “Naughty” list.

5:10: Get a cup of coffee and check Facebook
5:11: Poke 3,758 people back
5:30 am: Check my Words With Friends game
5:32 am: Put Sally Oberton of Ottawa, Canada on “naughty” list for playing “Charquis”
6:00 am: Daybreak Yoga with the elves.
6:30 am: Light breakfast of 4 slices of bacon, 4 pieces of sausage, 4 biscuits, has browns, 2 eggs over easy and a glass of orange juice.

7:30 am: Tweet: “Time to shit, shower and groom the beard.”
8:00 am: Tweet: “Let’s do this bitches!”

8:01 am til Noon: One meeting after another. Meet with production supervisors to see how toy production is going. Yell at supervisors about excessive overtime. Remind everyone how much would be saved by outsourcing production to Southeast Asia. Then meet with maintenance team to make sure the sleigh is in good shape. Meet with the lawyers to find out which flight paths have been approved. Meet with Secret Society of Jews Who Exchange Presents on Christmas.

Noon: Typical lunch of double bacon cheeseburger, fries, a piece of chocolate cake and a Diet Coke.

12:30 pm til 3:00 pm: More meetings. Meet with the stables managers and try to smooth over any drama going on with the reindeer.  Meet with logistics to see that they’ve made the requested changes. Meet with the lawyers again to see if they got Congress to approve my special “non-profit” status.

3:00 pm:  Krav Maga Training
3:30 pm til 5 pm: Surf the internet for videos and self-pics of girls who want to get on my “Naughty” list followed by afternoon masturbation session.

5:00 pm: Dinner consisting of Reindeer Stew, Ciabatta bread and a bottle of red wine.
6:00 pm: Seinfeld
7 pm til 11 pm: Hang out on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Reddit while watching episodes of Gilmore Girls on DVD.

11:00 pm: Tweet: “Bedtime with Mrs Claus. That Ho Ho Ho! #justkidding”

See folks? Fascinating stuff! I see no reason that I haven’t gotten a TV show. It’s non-stop drama all day long. A hell of lot more drama than just driving a freaking rig over a hill, I tell ya that much History Channel! And if anyone out there wants to offer me a reality show, contact me through my representative Jayman.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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Also, we held out IWS Office Christmas Party this weekend on I’m With Stupid and it was EPIC! We had a HUGE crowd in the chat room and just rocked it all through the show. We had some Xmas party DOs and DONTs, party games and discussed Xmas parties of the past. Also, there was an exclusive interview with Santa himself.

Oh, and there were trolls too. We dispatched them as quickly as possible, just like Santa would have. So, give it a listen because it will make your day a little brighter. And that’s what it’s all about for us. Making you happy.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio