I Really Don't Care

Holaaaaaaaaaaaa! Every single day my Facebook feed is full of deep thoughts, angst, bitching, inspirational quotes and lots and lots of anger. People are so worked up over so many different things. This has made me realize that there are lots of issues out there that I really don’t give a shit about.

Politicians who cheat on their spouses:  Politicians do way worse things every single day of their lives than cheating on their spouses. Adultery is a private issue and we don’t really have a right to know if our elected official is cheating on his/her spouse. It doesn’t tell us anything about his/her abilities or effectiveness as administrators. Besides, just knowing someone “cheated” doesn’t tell us the whole story and without the whole story we don’t know squat.

Immigration: OMG THERE’S BROWN PEOPLE POURING OVER THE BOARDER EVERY SINGLE DAY COMING HERE TO MURDER AND RAPE AND PILLAGE!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!! The people who DEMAND that illegal immigrants assimilate are the same ones who want to keep them out of public school which is where they would learn to assimilate. The reason we have the disaster of an immigration problem we have now is because everyone is either “nobody” or “everybody” gets in and neither side will budge. So, whatever.

Women making .77 cents to every $1 a man makes (allegedly):  Well, they don’t really. I mean sure, on average that’s probably the case, but if you’re comparing women and men in the same job with same experience and same hours worked each year, it’s not that low. Do I think women should get paid the same for the same work? Of course I do. But, the real problem is women aren’t encouraged to go into science, computer and engineering fields where the best paying jobs are.

Affirmative Action: Am I on the losing end of AA? Yup. Do I care? Maybe I should, but I really don’t.

People getting gov’t “hand-outs” who don’t DESERVE them: Are there people gaming the system? Absolutely. Should we do something to stop this? Of course! Are we doing anything about it? Fuck no! Just cutting social programs doesn’t do anything to the people who are beating the system. They’ll beat the system as long as the system stays the same. Cutting funding just kicks the honest people out of the system. Also, if you’re just spittin’ mad over undeserving people getting gov’t handouts, but never mention rich corporations getting tax subsidies or rich people getting farm subsidies even though all they own is forty acres of dirt, then leave me the hell alone with your bitching.

Reality TV (other than “Swamp People” and “Mountain Men” of course): Oh look! Fake, scripted drama on TV! If it isn’t a show with real writers and real actors then I really don’t care. I’m all for lowbrow entertainment and have no problem with anyone who does enjoy these shows. The only thing I ask is that you not act as if this shit is real. Please?

The deficit:  The deficit isn’t the problem. The problem is there aren’t good-paying enough jobs. More jobs means more people paying taxes which means more revenue which means lower deficits. Ask Bill “4.2% Unemployment” Clinton what happens to deficits when people are working.

Spoilers: I get that some people don’t want plot twists in their favorite shows revealed before they get to watch the show, but it’s on you to avoid spoilers. I kind of agree with west coast people complaining about spoilers on Twitter when the show being spoiled won’t even air out there for another two hours. But, you could just stay off Twitter for a while on that night too. Just a thought. Generally though, if you record a show to watch at your leisure later in the week then you do so at your own risk.

That’s the abbreviated list. The actual list goes on and on and on. I think a lot of you people would be much happier if you cut back on the things that you get worked up over too.

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Tim Tebow Needs a Reality TV Show

Hola Bitches! Well, he did it again. Tim Tebow led his Denver Broncos to another unlikely win. This time, he did it on the big stage of the NFL playoffs and against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Nobody thought the Broncos had a chance in hell of even staying close. Well, nobody except Tim Tebow and yours truly. I told the Matt-Man on Friday that the Broncos had a chance. And, as so often is the case, I was right.

I got to thinking about all the Tebow hate and have come to a conclusion that it goes much deeper than what most people think. Generally people in the media and sports fans simply say that the Tebow hate is because of how he is so public about his religious beliefs. Many people say that Tebow hate is actually hatred against ALL Christians.

While there certainly is some backlash against his very public Christian beliefs, I don’t think disliking him means someone hates ALL Christians. In fact, for a lot of people I think it’s more personal. Not personal about Tim, but personal about themselves. See, everything always seems to work out great for Tim Terrific. And for most people, well, things don’t work out well. At least, we don’t feel like they do. So, when we see someone who seems always get the lucky break, we get jealous.

That’s right kids. Tim Tebow is the NFL’s Ferris Bueller (with a better set of ethics and morals) and we’re all Cameron just sitting there staring at him trying to figure out how it is that EVERYTHING always works out for him.

So, I think it would be great to create a reality TV show just following Tim around all day long as amazing things constantly happen to him. It would get huge ratings because people who love him AND the people who hate him would all watch. The Tebow Lovers will be thrilled and amazed at Tim’s great life and the haters will be driven to drink and spiral further and further into self-hatred and despair.

Here’s what an average day would be like for Tim Tebow…

- Tim will be running late in the morning, but amazingly there will be some Krispy Kreme Donuts on the counter. How lucky is that?  And, as he’s driving to the stadium for practice, every single traffic light will turn green.

- He goes to Target to get some jeans. Unfortunately, they don’t have anything with inseam longer than 36” and Tim needs 38”. Of course, being Tim he was cool with this and decided to check out their shirts. While he was doing that, an employee comes by and restocks the jeans shelf and there are two pairs of jeans with 38” inseam! So awesome!

- Tim then goes to Best Buy to look at plasma TVs. He finds one he thinks is perfect, but it’s really expensive and buying it would be way to showy for a guy like him. Suddenly, an employee walks by and puts a “Today Only! 60% Off” sign on top of the plasma TV he wanted. So, he gets an amazing bargain!

- By this time it’s snowing heavily in Denver, so Tim has to be very careful driving home. But, amazingly enough just as he turns onto the road that goes to his neighborhood he sees the snow plow is in front him, so he just pulls in behind it and has a much safer drive home than it would have been.

- Tim gets home, hooks up his new TV, turns it on and Gilmore Girls is on! While watching Gilmore Girls Tim gets hungry but then realizes he forgot to go to the store and he has absolutely nothing good to eat in the house. Right at that moment, Lindsay Vonn shows up with a freaking pizza.

There you have it folks. It isn’t just football that works out for Tim all the time. Every single thing in Tim’s life works out in mysterious ways. That’s what every episode would be. Just following Tebow around while he lives his perfect freaking life and everyone at home either celebrates or gets really pissed off. 

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook: Jayman68
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

Santa Claus is a Busy Man

Hola and Ho Ho Ho to all the good little boys and girls (and to the naughty girls), Santa Claus is guest posting for I’m With Stupid. That’s right bitches, the big man himself is here to let you know that he’s not jolly. Not one bit.

You know why? Because everybody and their dog but me is getting a reality show. If those boring (big) ass Kardashians can have a show, I should have one too. Here’s an example of a typical day:

5:00 am: Wake up to custom alarm playing “Jingle Bells.”
5:01 am: Take long, satisfying piss.
5:04 am: Ask Mrs. Claus if she’s up for a little morning action.
5:05 am: Dejectedly leave the bedroom and start the coffee going.
5:07 am: Check official email and find the box full. Leave for assistants.
5:08 am: Check personal email and find two offers for cheap Viagra and one from some chick in Nigeria claiming to need help moving $10,000,000 dollars. Put Nigeria lady on “Naughty” list.

5:10: Get a cup of coffee and check Facebook
5:11: Poke 3,758 people back
5:30 am: Check my Words With Friends game
5:32 am: Put Sally Oberton of Ottawa, Canada on “naughty” list for playing “Charquis”
6:00 am: Daybreak Yoga with the elves.
6:30 am: Light breakfast of 4 slices of bacon, 4 pieces of sausage, 4 biscuits, has browns, 2 eggs over easy and a glass of orange juice.

7:30 am: Tweet: “Time to shit, shower and groom the beard.”
8:00 am: Tweet: “Let’s do this bitches!”

8:01 am til Noon: One meeting after another. Meet with production supervisors to see how toy production is going. Yell at supervisors about excessive overtime. Remind everyone how much would be saved by outsourcing production to Southeast Asia. Then meet with maintenance team to make sure the sleigh is in good shape. Meet with the lawyers to find out which flight paths have been approved. Meet with Secret Society of Jews Who Exchange Presents on Christmas.

Noon: Typical lunch of double bacon cheeseburger, fries, a piece of chocolate cake and a Diet Coke.

12:30 pm til 3:00 pm: More meetings. Meet with the stables managers and try to smooth over any drama going on with the reindeer.  Meet with logistics to see that they’ve made the requested changes. Meet with the lawyers again to see if they got Congress to approve my special “non-profit” status.

3:00 pm:  Krav Maga Training
3:30 pm til 5 pm: Surf the internet for videos and self-pics of girls who want to get on my “Naughty” list followed by afternoon masturbation session.

5:00 pm: Dinner consisting of Reindeer Stew, Ciabatta bread and a bottle of red wine.
6:00 pm: Seinfeld
7 pm til 11 pm: Hang out on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Reddit while watching episodes of Gilmore Girls on DVD.

11:00 pm: Tweet: “Bedtime with Mrs Claus. That Ho Ho Ho! #justkidding”

See folks? Fascinating stuff! I see no reason that I haven’t gotten a TV show. It’s non-stop drama all day long. A hell of lot more drama than just driving a freaking rig over a hill, I tell ya that much History Channel! And if anyone out there wants to offer me a reality show, contact me through my representative Jayman.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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Also, we held out IWS Office Christmas Party this weekend on I’m With Stupid and it was EPIC! We had a HUGE crowd in the chat room and just rocked it all through the show. We had some Xmas party DOs and DONTs, party games and discussed Xmas parties of the past. Also, there was an exclusive interview with Santa himself.

Oh, and there were trolls too. We dispatched them as quickly as possible, just like Santa would have. So, give it a listen because it will make your day a little brighter. And that’s what it’s all about for us. Making you happy.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

The Downgrade of America

This morning on I’m With Stupid we talked about the rapid decline of America. We are once great country that is now in an uncontrollable downward spiral, with a government and a people who can’t seem to do anything but exasperate the situation.

Our political discourse continues to get worse and worse. People can’t have a discussion about anything with name calling. People have no manners anymore either. They can’t be grateful or thankful when someone tries to do something nice for them or be their friend even. They just demand more and more and if they don’t get 100% of what they want or 100% agreement they just trash the “other side.”

Reality TV shows like 16 and Pregnant, Jersey Shore, and all the Real Housewives shows are the most popular crap on TV. Americans prefer to sit back and not just watch, but celebrate the very worst people of our society. People who are uneducated, classless, jerks. I’m not saying that there isn’t a place for mindless entertainment. We all love that. But, this is just too much.

Nobody can just be a fan of his or her team anymore either. They have to HATE the other team. And that’s not even enough. They have to HATE the fans of the other team. The players on the other team, and their fans are all douche bags, or pedophiles, or assholes or whatever. We have to call them names and insult them simply because they root for their favorite team and not ours? Again, rivalries are great. And there are certain teams, schools or fan bases that we may not like. But, does it always have to be so fucking personal? It used to be joking about other teams, or making fun of them for embarrassing things that have happened in the past, or maybe for being delusional (Cubs fans), but now it’s all about name calling and hurling insults and getting into fights and arguments while claiming that “our side” doesn’t do those things.

Just like in politics. Everyone views everything that happens through their political ideology. They never take a few minutes to think. It’s blame the other side immediately and mindlessly. And repeat the things that our side has said on blogs or on talk radio.

And finally, we have a society that has completely lost almost all compassion for our fellow man. We talk big about community and about the sanctity of life, but we don’t mean it. We talk about helping people who need help, but we refuse to actually help. We talk about protecting people, but in fact we expose them to danger, both financial and physical. We talk about being Christians and being good people, but we don’t follow Christ’s teachings.

Anyway, you can listen to today’s show using this here BTR Mystery Machine. As always we thank you for your support and love each and every one of you!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws