My Name Is Thanksgiving...Remember Me?

Hi all…Thanksgiving here for I’m With Stupid. Yeah…That’s right, I’m Thanksgiving.

An actual entity called Thanksgiving, talking to you from the pages of I'm With Stupid. Well, not an actual entity…perhaps more of a spiritual entity. And sadly…

Be I spiritual, or corporeal, an entity that has now grown old and hackneyed in the eyes, minds, and souls of many Americans.

I used to matter. Yep, it’s true.

Hell, for nearly 150 years I was a big deal. Ever since Lincoln called for a national day of Thanksgiving, families across America would once a year, gather ‘round their tables, break bread, repair old friendships, and once in awhile, begin new ones.

It was a day that the entire nation took a deep breath, reflected on its heritage, and showed appreciation for those who through immigration, religious persecution, or just plain luck, ultimately allowed those of us here today, to enjoy the fruits of this nation.

And now?

I Thanksgiving, have become but an oxymoron in that I am both an afterthought and noted precursor to the commercial hegemony that is Christmas.

I deserve more than that.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the courage of those who offered America her chance at greatness when they landed on Plymouth Rock and elsewhere, in hopes of building a brighter future in the face of hunger, sickness, and more than a few pissed off Indians.

And…while it’s true that July 4, 1776 marks the birth of this great nation and we celebrate it magnanimously, the stubborn and fertile seed that was planted in order to make that happen, was sown when the brave and oppressed from Europe landed here some 150 years prior to that.

And on Thanksgivings prior, we as a nation, as neighborhoods, and as families, would celebrate the struggles of the Pilgrims and the arduous task of colonizing this country.

We would give thanks to those gone before us and more importantly to those with us, because just as the Pilgrims had to rely upon each other, we would recognize the fact that we rely upon our families and friends as well.

And then, just somewhat recently…the national camaraderie muted, the familial bonds loosened, and the hour glass speed at which we celebrated Thanksgiving and each other, turned into the break neck pace of a stopwatch counting down to the Christmas season.

I today, am but a shell of my former self. I get six hours tops.

People eat at one or so, make small talk, exchange Christmas wish lists, and then, after a post-tryptophan nap, hit the stores for Black Friday sales, in the name of celebrating Jesus, the Maccabees, and whomever or whatever.

I today, in this world of 24/7 Cable News, big box store sales, and instant messaging, have become an anachronism…nothing more than a Norman Rockwell painting that embodies the “quaint” times which define, Americana.

I’m saddened, but have a word or two of hope for you on the day which honors me…

For those of you who are taking the time to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and family, God bless you, and may you delight in the warmth of good food, good wine, and good company for hours upon end.

For those of you who look at me but nothing more than a prologue to Christmas, God bless you as well and I hope you soon rediscover what Cicero said many centuries ago:

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” 

Sincerely,

Thanksgiving

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Tickle Me on Twitter
Grope Me on Facebook

Martin Luther King...If He Were Alive Today, The Media Would Kill Him

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day…

A day when millions remember and honor the memory and legacy of the foremost civil rights leader of a generation who was tragically slain in 1968.

King was a visionary who was brilliant, affective, and foremost, courageous. He also possessed perhaps the two most important gifts of a leader of men and causes…

An ability to inspire through sensible yet moving oratory, and more importantly, the serendipity of marching along the timeline of history at just the right moment.

King coming along at the time he did, was his most important ally because…

If MLK were alive today and railing against the injustices in the world, he would be eaten alive, by talk radio, tabloids, and the schadenfreude driven 24/7 “news” cycle of speculation and innuendo of cable TV.

Martin Luther King in spite of all his incredible command of what is good and what is just, was a man. A man full of flaws like all of us.

And…

Many of King’s human weaknesses were, by the girdle donning, high heel wearing J. Edgar Hoover, (and RFK for that matter) noted, embellished, and oft times imagined.

Did the married, minister of God enjoy the company of white women? Maybe.

Was he, the civil rights movement, and the SCLC associated with the Communist Party. Not really.

Because King was friends with, and was mentored by, another black civil rights activist, Bayard Rustin, who was a known homosexual, make King gay? Hardly…see above.

As King was a fan of the non-violent movement propagated by Gandhi, anti-American? Fuck no.

Yet today?

All of this “information” would be perused, skewed, and then taken as fact and spray painted like graffiti on the walls of a shut down factory in Youngstown, Elkhart, or Detroit upon our radios and TV’s.

And my friends…As MLK helped a people and a nation to see and actualize his dream, we as a nation have turned that dream on its head and turned it to some degree, into a nightmare.

If MLK were alive today he would be vilified for “communist ties”, castigated for “hanging out with homosexuals”, and sullied for being an un-American peacenik by today’s angry, ratings at all costs media, and the Haterade thirst of such from a large portion of Americans.

That is indeed why today, we have no great leadership in this country. Why would anyone who has the ability and desire to lead this nation, suffer the scrutiny of those who seek to tear greatness down?

I don’t care if a person was late on their taxes, smoked pot, had a marital indiscretion, or peed in a public pool while drunk, if he or she is willing, and able to lead this country out of its debt and malaise.

The great ones of today have no desire to lead because it would mean that they would be under the microscope of a media and a people who care more about who they fucked rather than what they can do.

We are stuck with vanilla. We are stuck with mediocrity. We are stuck with the here and now of, “Oh My God…he or she did what?”

I want inspiration from someone, no matter if he or she has human imperfections.

Where’s that inspiration going to come from? John Boehner? Mitch McConnell? Nancy Pelosi? Harry Reid?...Chris Christie!!?

Ha…I don’t fucking think so.

We have no leaders like King. King spent his adult years trying to forge the unity of a nation and sadly, trying unsuccessfully to not be gunned down by the bullet of bigotry and hate.

The so called leaders we have today? Instead of seeking greatness, they spend their adult years merely seeking reelection.

I hate it.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
Matt's Facebook Page

MSJS: Our Cable News Debut

Matt Speculates, Jay Speculates, You shake your head in amazement.

As was bound to happen at some point Matt-Man and Jayman have now become more than just International Internet Radio Stars and have become Media Personalities and Current Events Commentators. We made our debut this week on cable news and here’s the transcript …

Monday Night: Cable News Ninny: We now welcome Matt-Man and Jayman from IWS Radio. What is your take, gentlemen, on what happened in Boston?

Matt: I think this is domestic terrorism.
Jay: Naw … It’s foreign.
Matt: Happening on the day of the background check vote? In the most liberal city in America?
Jay: Yeah, I get that, but domestics usually go for government buildings.
Matt: True, but foreigners usually claim responsibility.
Jay: Hmmm … Buuuuut, a bomb in a crowd? Sooooo Al Qaeda!
Matt: Maybe, but think about all those foreigners racing? Right-wingers hate foreigners.
Jay: Damn. This is a tough one.
Matt: I say look for white guy w/ crew cut and owns a dozen or so guns.
Jay: No way man. Dark-Skinned all the way!  
CNN: Okay guys! Great insight!

Thursday Night: CNN: With us again are Matt-Man and Jayman from IWS Radio. You’ve seen the video and the pics of the suspects, what do you make of all this?

Jay: Suspect #2 is looking pretty swarthy to me.
Matt: They’re white.
Jay: I dunno dude. That’s a big Arab nose.
Matt: Maybe, or possibly … Well, you know WHO ELSE has big noses.
Jay: Jews? MOSSAD?????
Matt: Wouldn’t that be a game changer!
Jay: Damn, yes it would.
Matt: Other people have big noses too though.
Jay: Lebanese do. Danny Thomas, Jamie Farr
Matt: Jamie Farr! Has anyone checked on him? Hmmm ….
Jay: I think we’ve about got this solved.
Matt: Well, hold on. I just thought of something. Italians
Jay: Oh dayum! A mob hit?
Matt: Boston Mayor Tomas MENINO??? Huh??? Huh??
Jay: Holy shit dude! …. Mind. Officially. Blown.

Friday Morning: CNN: We’re here once again with Matt-Man and Jayman of IWS Radio. One of the bombers, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, is dead and the other, his brother Dzhokar A. Tsarnaev, is on the loose. What do you guys make of this?

Matt: They’re white. I called that one!
Jay: Uhhh .. White MUSLIMS! Boom!
Matt: But, still white.
Jay: Swarthy white!
Matt: I’ll give you that one.
Jay: What have they been doing since Monday though?
Matt: Flew to Texas to blow up a fertilizer plant?
Jay: I like it!
Matt: Clever move by them. Quite the distraction.

CNN: Guys, speaking of distraction, I’m going to bring in Schmoop now to talk about another possibility.

Schmoop: This is all obviously a FALSE FLAG! The government did this to prey on American’s fears and use our natural instinct to come together in times of crisis and increase Obama’s poll numbers giving him the opening he needs to come after our guns.

Matt: *rolls eyes* You’re obviously a nutcase.
Jay: *head nod* How YOU doin’ huh babe?
Matt: PUH-LEEZE … What an amateur!
Jay: IKNOWRITE? I mean, I can see Muslims trying to help Obama’s popularity.
Matt: Now THAT makes sense!
Jay: Muslim Brotherhood agrees to launch LIMITED attack.
Matt: Kill just enough people to get everyone’s attention.
Jay: The cop was just an opportunity kill.
Matt: Obvs. Anyway, Obama goes tough guy. 
Jay: Muslims take the heat. Again.
Matt: Obama consolidates power.
Jay: Quietly uses new power to start implementing Sharia Law.
Matt: HOLY SHIT! We really have figured it out!  
Jay: This is some scary shit here.
Matt: Hell yes it is.
Jay: Damn, this TV thing is going great!
Matt: We’re naturals.

CNN: Okay guys, thanks for your very unique insight. What do you guys have coming up this Sunday?

Matt: The NFL draft is next we’re gonna draft stuff we like.
Jay: Yeah, Monarchs, Writers, Poets, Favorite Ethnic People
Matt: Sportscasters, Flowers, Beer
Jay: Yeah, we will DRAFT BEER … Heh .. Get it?
Matt: Hey-OOOOOOO
Jay: And other stuff.
Matt: Paul Piatt, IWS Products, Bobby Kraft
Jay: And so much more!
Matt: Totally!

So, join us at 12 Noon ET on Sunday for our “What’s On Tap” episode of I’m With Stupid!

Typical Day at CNN for John King

*Dramatic Music*

Announcer: “This is Breaking News from CNN. We now go live to John King.”

John King: “Thank you anonymous voice that creeps me out, this is John King and I have breaking news

that is sooooo breaking. Nobody has this news but me! Woo-Hoo! I got it first! Where’s Fox News? Where’s MSNBC? Nobody knows! Well, you better call them and have them gather around the TV to see how journalism is done bitches!

CNN and I, John King, the greatest journalist in the history of cable news and quite possibly the history of any and all news organizations the world over, have breaking news. My sources, which nobody else has because I’m charming and good-looking and TENATIOUS have told me and I can report that there has been an arrest in the Boston Marathon Bombing.

BOO-YEAH!!!! In your face Jim Miklaszewski! In YOUR face whoever the hell is responsible for breaking news over at Fox! I beat yoooooouuuuuuuu! I beat youuuuuuuuuuu! Ha Ha! Wooooooo! You suck!

Uh, anyway, as I reported … FIRST! … and CNN can confirm, an arrest has been made in the Boston Marathon Bombing Attack!  My sources tell me that a ‘dark-skinned’ male has been taken into custody and will be brought to the courthouse here in Boston very soon to be arraigned. I know some of you won’t be happy about that ‘dark-skinned’ part, but hey, the truth is truth! All I can do is report the facts, right Chris Cuomo?”

Chris Cuomo: “Damn right John Boy!” *high five* “Way to be on it! That’s why I left ABC so I could work for a WINNER! How ‘bout you Fran Townsend? After all those years in the Bush admin, this must make you happy!”

Fran Townsend: “God-DAMN right it does!” *high five* “Best of both worlds for me because they’ve got the towel head in custody and I STILL get to blame it all on Obama and remind everyone that GW Bush kept us all safe!”

John King and Chris Cuomo: “Hey-OOOOOOOOOOO!”

Anderson Cooper: “Uh guys, we might have a slight problem here.”

Fran Townsend: “Oh God. Here we go. The gay guy is gonna remind us not to use words like ‘towel-head’ again.”

John King: “Party pooper”

Chris Cuomo: “Lighten up dude!”

Anderson Cooper: “Well, yeah that’s a problem, but more importantly the Justice Department says the story is false.”

John King: “Oh bullshit! You’re just trying to piss on my parade fancy pants.”

Anderson Cooper: “No, I’m serious. Justice says no arrest, no one in custody and they don’t even have anyone ID’d from the photos or videos.”

John King: “I … I …. I can’t believe this.”

*Chris Cuomo and Fran Townsend casually walk away leaving John King alone on set*

John King: “Who would do this to me? This is so wrong. My sources are so good. I’m so good-looking! What the hell happened.”

*camera fades out from John King to Piers Morgan in studio*

Piers Morgan: “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WOOOOO! THAT WAS MY BEST CELL PHONE HACK EVER!!!! AAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey wait …. Is that camera on?? What the hell guys???!!!”

*Dramatic Music*

“This is Breaking News from CNN! We go now to CNN headquarters in Atlanta and Wolf Blitzer”

Wolf Blitzer: “Good afternoon folks, we have breaking news concerning the Boston Marathon Bomber. Let’s go immediately to senior political correspondent John King. John, what do you have for us ….”

John King: “Thanks Wolf. Ladies and gentlemen, I can confirm that I, John King, have learned EXCLUSIVELY that there has been NO ARREST made so far today in the Boston Marathon Bombing investigation. There have been some rumors out there, repeated by some of our competitors that there had been an arrest, but I can confirm, absolutely that there hasn’t been one.”

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/jayman68
@Jayman_IWS