The World Cup of MSJS ...

Matt snarks, Jay quips, You yawn. 

Matt: Cheers!
Jay: Hola!
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: Wonderful.
Matt: That’s good to hear.
Jay: Are we doing this or do you want to point out how awful I am too?
Matt: Hey-OOOOO! Good one.
Jay: I’m sensing some sarcasm there.
Matt: Oh nooooooo … Totally sincere Hey-O there.
Jay: I don’t know man.
Matt: Well you’ll have to take my word for it.
Jay: Okay then. I guess I will.
Matt: Good.
Jay: Anyway, do you feel better now that you got that out of your system?
Matt: I feel fucking fantastic!
Jay: Well alrighty then.
Matt: Are you over whatever the hell crawled up your ass?
Jay: Oh sure.
Matt: Okay then.

Jay: Watching the World Cup?
Matt: Yeah man, I’m hanging on every bicycle kick and header.
Jay: Damn.
Matt: What?
Jay: I’m sensing sarcasm again.
Matt: Maybe your Sarcasm Radar is jammed.
Jay: I guess the NSA is jamming it.
Matt: Maybe, or … Didn’t you follow the CIA on Twitter?
Jay: Yeah, but I unfollowed them cause they tweet way too much.
Matt: Oh, well it’s probably the NSA then.
Jay: Actually, I think it’s the Mossad.
Matt: I guess you found out how many restraining orders from Jewish babes it takes to get their attention.
Jay: More than you would expect.
Matt: And yet, not as many as it should be.

Jay: Hey! Father’s Day is Sunday!
Matt: Gonna be a looooooooong day.
Jay: Rivers of tears will be shed.
Matt: And that’s just from you, Schmoop and me!
Jay: Hey-OOOOOOOOOO
Matt: This week’s show might be more of a therapy session.
Jay: We probably need one.
Matt: No I’m fine. I was talking about you.
Jay: HA! Oh that was a good one!
Matt: Now MY Sarcasm Radar is going off.
Jay: Probably just a U-2 Spy Plane flying over.
Matt: Or one of the UN’s black helicopters!
Jay: Oh damn. It could be a drone! Obama might be monitoring you himself.
Matt: That’s a bit far-fetched.
Jay: True. Anyway, Father’s Day.
Matt: A special show for a special day.
Jay: Bobby Kraft interviewing Ben Franklin!
Matt: Totally improved interview.
Jay: Live on digital recording.
Matt: And … other stuff.
Jay: Yeah, we’ll figure it out.
Matt: Okay, sounds good.
Jay: Let’s do this!

Be sure to tune into “Dad, Sweat and Tears” on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET! If you don’t then you hate daddies and American!

Matt Said Jay Said 301.688.5849

Matt jokes, Jay jokes, You joke too!

Matt: Cheers!
Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Matt: I think we’re ready!
Jay: Hell ye … What was that?
Matt: What was what?
Jay: I thought I heard something.
Matt: *listens* I don’t hear anything.
Jay: Okay, that’s cool.
Matt: Have you been drinking?
Jay: No why?
Matt: You’re hear … Wait!
Jay: Uh-huh!
Matt: Something’s messed up.
Jay: I know. I don’t know what it is though.
Matt: Me either.
Jay: I’ll call you back and see if it’s better.
Matt: Good idea.

*Jay calls Matt back*

Matt: Hello? 

Jay: Hello?
Matt: Do you hear anything?
Jay: Nope.
Matt: Okay then.
Jay: Whew! That was weird.
Matt: Even weirder than usual for us.
Jay: I know ri … WHAT WAS THAT?
Matt: You know what it sounds like?
Jay: Heavy breathing?
Matt: Yes! That’s it.
Jay: Is Corky asleep on the phone?
Matt: No, she’s staring at Schmoop eating a burger.
Jay: Huh. This …. Wait a minute!
Matt: OH MY GOD!
Jay and Matt: We got an NSA agent who is a fucking pervert!!!
Matt: Gross!
Jay: That really pisses me off!
Matt: Really offensive.
Jay: On the plus side, I think I would be a GREAT NSA agent.

Matt: You do have excellent stalking skills.
Jay: I prefer “reconnaissance” please.
Matt: Either way, you’re tireless in your pursuit of people.
Jay: Hey now! Your snooping skills are top notch too.
Matt: Well, I’m good at digging up dirt. I mean information.
Jay: I think the NSA would be lucky to have us working for them!
Matt: They would barely have to train us at all.
Jay: Just teach us to not follow the rules.
Matt: Exactly! Beat the honesty out of us and we’d be perfect.
Jay: If Lorne Michaels doesn’t call we outta pursue this idea.
Matt: We might think about it … IF … Lorne doesn’t call.
Jay: Even if Lorne does call, we might think about it.
Matt: We are great Americans like that.
Jay: True. And having that kind of power does excite me a bit.
Matt: Oooo … Good point. I for one would never abuse that!
Jay: Not at all.

Matt: So, Joke Show time again!!!
Jay: It’s the happiest day of the year!
Matt: Totally!
Jay: It’s gonna be so much fun.
Matt: Lots of smiles and laughter.
Jay: That’s what we’re all about!
Matt: AAAAAND! … Audience participation!
Jay: We have a couple of commitments from people.
Matt: I can’t wait to hear what they’ve worked up.
Jay: And, a couple of audios from other listeners.
Matt: HILARIOUS!
Jay: And our correspondents!
Matt: And some Public Service Announcements.
Jay: I’m excited!
Matt: Me too!
Mystery Voice: OHHHHHH YEAAHHHHHHH!
Jay:
Matt:
Jay and Matt: GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Be sure to tune into “Show Me the Funny!” Sunday at 12 Noon ET on I’m With Stupid! It’s gonna be a riot!