Matt Said Jay Said 301.688.5849

Matt jokes, Jay jokes, You joke too!

Matt: Cheers!
Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Matt: I think we’re ready!
Jay: Hell ye … What was that?
Matt: What was what?
Jay: I thought I heard something.
Matt: *listens* I don’t hear anything.
Jay: Okay, that’s cool.
Matt: Have you been drinking?
Jay: No why?
Matt: You’re hear … Wait!
Jay: Uh-huh!
Matt: Something’s messed up.
Jay: I know. I don’t know what it is though.
Matt: Me either.
Jay: I’ll call you back and see if it’s better.
Matt: Good idea.

*Jay calls Matt back*

Matt: Hello? 

Jay: Hello?
Matt: Do you hear anything?
Jay: Nope.
Matt: Okay then.
Jay: Whew! That was weird.
Matt: Even weirder than usual for us.
Jay: I know ri … WHAT WAS THAT?
Matt: You know what it sounds like?
Jay: Heavy breathing?
Matt: Yes! That’s it.
Jay: Is Corky asleep on the phone?
Matt: No, she’s staring at Schmoop eating a burger.
Jay: Huh. This …. Wait a minute!
Matt: OH MY GOD!
Jay and Matt: We got an NSA agent who is a fucking pervert!!!
Matt: Gross!
Jay: That really pisses me off!
Matt: Really offensive.
Jay: On the plus side, I think I would be a GREAT NSA agent.

Matt: You do have excellent stalking skills.
Jay: I prefer “reconnaissance” please.
Matt: Either way, you’re tireless in your pursuit of people.
Jay: Hey now! Your snooping skills are top notch too.
Matt: Well, I’m good at digging up dirt. I mean information.
Jay: I think the NSA would be lucky to have us working for them!
Matt: They would barely have to train us at all.
Jay: Just teach us to not follow the rules.
Matt: Exactly! Beat the honesty out of us and we’d be perfect.
Jay: If Lorne Michaels doesn’t call we outta pursue this idea.
Matt: We might think about it … IF … Lorne doesn’t call.
Jay: Even if Lorne does call, we might think about it.
Matt: We are great Americans like that.
Jay: True. And having that kind of power does excite me a bit.
Matt: Oooo … Good point. I for one would never abuse that!
Jay: Not at all.

Matt: So, Joke Show time again!!!
Jay: It’s the happiest day of the year!
Matt: Totally!
Jay: It’s gonna be so much fun.
Matt: Lots of smiles and laughter.
Jay: That’s what we’re all about!
Matt: AAAAAND! … Audience participation!
Jay: We have a couple of commitments from people.
Matt: I can’t wait to hear what they’ve worked up.
Jay: And, a couple of audios from other listeners.
Matt: HILARIOUS!
Jay: And our correspondents!
Matt: And some Public Service Announcements.
Jay: I’m excited!
Matt: Me too!
Mystery Voice: OHHHHHH YEAAHHHHHHH!
Jay:
Matt:
Jay and Matt: GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Be sure to tune into “Show Me the Funny!” Sunday at 12 Noon ET on I’m With Stupid! It’s gonna be a riot!