Looking For Love on Facebook

Hola lovers! As you might remember, not too long ago I started joining several Facebook groups to try and meet new friends from all over the world and made a commitment to get married this year. Well, it’s time to document some of my interactions once again.

Round 1: TC

TC: Hello!
Jay: Well hey there little lady!
TC: LOL!
Jay: What’s so funny?
TC: You are!
Jay: Really? Thanks!
TC: You’re welcome. How are you today?
Jay: I’m wonderful, how are you?
TC: I’m okay.
Jay: Just okay?
TC: I’m kind of lonely.
Jay: Awww … I’m sorry.
TC: Are you lonely.
Jay: Sometimes I get lonely.
TC: Are you single?
Jay: Single forever.
TC: That’s sad.

Jay: Wait. Now I’m sad? I thought I was funny.
TC: Hee Hee … You are funny!
Jay: Thank you for appreciating my comedy skills.
TC: You’re a comedian?
Jay: Can’t you tell?
TC: Yes! You’re funny like a clown.
Jay: Nooooooooooooo
TC: No?
Jay: Clowns are creepy. I’m not creepy.
TC: No, you’re not creepy at all.
Jay: Well I am a little creepy. You just don’t know me well enough yet.
TC: I hope not.
Jay: I’ll try to tone it down.
TC: Okay. What are you looking for?
Jay: A good time?
TC: LOL … I’m looking for a life mate.
Jay: Okay.
TC: Someone for me and my four little kids.
Jay: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
TC: Kids aren’t okay?
Jay: Well, I’m not good with kids.
TC: It’s okay. You will learn fast.
Jay: I was a terrible student in college.
TC: LOL!
Jay: I don’t want to be mean.
TC: You’re not mean!
Jay: I’m not looking for the same thing you are.
TC: It’s okay. We’ll just be friends.
Jay: Okay. And fuck buddies?
TC: *Defriends Jay*

Round 2: BW

BW: Hey there!
Jay: how YOU doin’?
BW: I’m fine.
Jay: Yes you are!
BW: How are you?
Jay: I’m GREAT!
BW: That’s good. You’re happy?
Jay: Very much so!
BW: Why?
Jay: Because I’m talking to you!
BW: That’s so sweet!
Jay: IKNOWRIGHT? I’m a sweet guy.
BW: I don’t know what that word means.
Jay: Sweet?
BW: LOL .. No, “iknowright” My English isn’t that good.
Jay: Oh that’s okay. No worries.
BW: Thank you.
Jay: No, THANK YOU!
BW: Why thank me?
Jay: Just for being you.
BW: hahahahahaha
Jay: So what’s up?
BW: Just looking.
Jay: Looking for?????
BW: A man.
Jay: Hell yeah!
BW: LOL
Jay: You’ve come to the right place babe.
BW: Can I get a full body pic of you?
Jay: NUDE?
BW: NO!! I don’t do that!
Jay: Oh. I would if you wanted me to though.
BW: No that’s okay.
Jay: Here’s a pic…
BW: You’re so big.
Jay: Yeah, all the girls say that.
BW: I like big.
Jay: Awwwwwww yeahhhhhhhhhh!

BW: What does that mean?
Jay: You’re looking for a big one?
BW: I’m happy with anyone.
Jay: Oh, okay. Girls say that all the time too.
BW: What do you do for a living?
Jay: I’m a writer.
BW: Really? What do you write?
Jay: Mostly Gay Erotica.
BW: I don’t read any of that.
Jay: Why not?
BW: I don’t know. Just haven’t.
Jay: Do you have a problem with bisexual men?
BW: Nope. That’s what I prefer.
Jay: Oh, that’s too bad.
BW: You aren’t bisexual?
Jay: Nope.
BW: But, that’s okay too.
Jay: Yeah, but I’ll obviously never be what you really want.
BW: That’s not true.
Jay: I’ll always fall short.
BW: How old are you?
Jay: I’m an old man.
BW: Good. I want a man over 55 or 65.
Jay: I’m only 46.
BW: That’s not bad though.
Jay: Sorry. Obviously I’ll never be what you’re looking for.
BW: You don’t know that.
Jay: Story of my life. Never quite good enough.
BW: Yes you are!
Jay: That’s nice of you to say. We can be friends right?
BW: Well I want more than friends.
Jay: Right. Fuck buddies it is.
BW: *Deactivates Account*

Well, that didn’t work out as well as I had hoped. Maybe next time.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Exploring Facebook Groups ...

Hola friends and potential friends! I want to introduce a new series for the blog. I’ve been trying to find ways to make Facebook more useful and fun and I think I might have found one. I’ve been going through Groups to see what all topics are covered. Needless to say there are lots of groups for just about any topic. One that I found most interesting are the “Add Me” or “Add Lots of New Friends” groups.

The idea is that everyone who joins the group should add everyone as a friend and we all get big friend numbers and look really cool and popular. I thought this would be as good a place as any to start. I joined one of them and posted “Hey everyone! Add me please!” Five people added me. Only one is still a “friend.” Here’s what happened with the other four….

Babe 1:

Her: Hello
Me: Hello
Her: Do you like me?
Me: Well, I don’t know you.
Her: But, you think I’m cute?
Me: Yeah, you’re cute.
Her: So you like me?
Me: You seem nice.
Her: Just nice?
Me: I don’t really know you.
Her: You looking for wife?

I defriended her in a panic. I wish I hadn’t. That could have been comedy gold.

Dude 1:

Him: Hey!
Me: Hello
Him: How are you?
Me: Great. How are you?
Him: Good. Hey can I ask you a question?
Me: Okay
Him: Can you suggest friends for me?
Me: I guess.
Him: Well, just the girls really.
Me: Just the girls?
Him: Yeah, girls think I’m cute.
Me: Some guys might think you’re cute too.
Him: Oh man! That’s not funny!
Me: It’s a little funny.
Him: Only a little!
Me: Most of the girls I know would find it very funny.
Him: Okay, don’t suggest them then.
Me: Okay.

He then defriended me.

Dude 2:

Him: Hey man!
Me: Hola!
Him: You’re Spanish?
Me: Uh, no.
Him: LOL … Okay
Me: What’s up?
Him: Thanks for accepting my friend request.
Me: Thanks for adding me.
Him: No prob. So, what you looking for?
Me: Well, nothing really.
Him: So why did you join that group?
Me: Just seemed like a good idea.
Him: It’s pretty cool. I’ve met lots of dudes there.
Me: Cool. I just joined today.
Him: Cool. So, you into dudes?
Me: Uhhhh … No, sorry.
Him: Don’t be sorry. You’re the one missing out.
Me: Ha! Okay.
Him: You ever had a guy suck you off?
Me: No
Him: How do you know?
Me: I checked.
Him: You’d never really know if you didn’t check.
Me: That’s why I check.
Him: If she had sex change, you wouldn’t know.
Me: I guess that’s possible.
Him: Probable, I’d say.
Me: Ha! Unlikely.
Him: Anyway, you’re missing out.
Me: If you say so.
Him: I do. Bye dude.
Me: Bye

He then defriended me.

Babe 2:

Her: Hi there
Me: Howdy
Her: LOL
Me: Why was that funny?
Her: Americans say “Howdy” a lot.
Me: Oh, okay.
Her: You wanna be my friend?
Me: Sure.
Her: But not too friendly
Me: Okay.  What’s “too friendly”
Her: Like making passes at me.
Me: Okay. I won’t.
Her: Good cause I would get into trouble.

I’m thinking “Oh crap, she’s underage!”

Me: Why would you get into trouble?
Her: Being too friendly with a white man
Me: REALLY?
Her: Yes, not me, but my family.
Me: That’s sad.
Her: Yes cause I love white men.
Me: Well that’s a problem
Her: Only for me.
Me: Or a white man who falls for you.
Her: That makes me sad.
Me: It is pretty sad.
Her: Maybe I can convince them they’re wrong.
Me: I hope so.
Her: Me too.
Me: Good luck
Her: Thanks. Bye!
Me: Bye

That one kind of made me sad. Anyway, there are lots and lots of groups out there on Facebook. Most of the posts in them are just spam, but there are some real people there too. I’m going to keep joining them and will report back to you guys on them.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS