The Albatross Is Off Of My Neck!!

IWSRADIO.COM

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.  --Samuel Taylor Coleridge

For the past few months, I have been in quite the funk.  Not a depressing suicidal funk where I hate life and all which it entails, but rather a funk that comes from being in limbo…from spinning counter-clockwise in a whirlpool of uncertainty that results from being stuck in the Horse Latitudes of life.

I have been married for twenty-seven years.  Of course, for the past fourteen of them I have been separated.  I know, crazy, right!?  Anyhoo…Finally…After all of this time, my future former ex-wife has petitioned for a dissolution.

For years, I have joked about still being married. Made merry about it, and both the Jayman and I have played Torn Between Two Lovers countless times on our IWS Radio Show, however…

It has been bugging the hell out of me, that I in a sense, had that albatross of unfinished matrimonial business around my neck.  Well, my friends, that is now coming to an end and I feel happy about that.

I mean, I could whore around with the best of them in spite of still being legally married, but now, I have closure, so now I can whore around without even experiencing the scintilla of guilt that I never experienced in the first place.  Wait…What…Anyhoo…

On top of that good news…Yesterday around 7 PM, my brother Marty called me to tell me that a family closed on the purchase of my late brother Vinnie’s house, and his estate will finally be closed out after some sixteen months.

Marty put a lot of work into that house and has been busy taking care of bills and such since our brother’s death, and at long last, he can breathe easier and the entire clan can move on from the cold and methodical business end of the legal issues of death.

In other words, if Vince left me enough money in his will, after I buy a new set of teeth, there may be a line of IWS Radio T-Shirts and can cozies on the market.  Yeah…you heard me right.

But seriously…Loose ends no matter how great or small, while not necessarily giving a person the feeling of dread, fear, or as I mentioned earlier a case of the funk, they are just enough to create a feeling of ADD, lack of focus, or even worse, a sense of, why the fuck do I care about anything?

Anyway, yesterday was relatively full of good news, not because of the terminal and legal death of both a marriage and a brother, but because the outcomes give breeze to the sails of those who were stalling.

Swiftly, swiftly flew the ship,
Yet she sailed softly too:
Sweetly, sweetly blew the breeze -
On me alone it blew. --Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Just Say Fuck It! And Listen to IWS Radio

Cheeeeeers!!

Y’know?  Something really not good happened yesterday.  What’s that you ask?

I think I may have grown up!!

IKR?

At the ripe old age of 48 plus, Matt-Man may have hit the mercury mark and as the mercurial metal of time and temperature rises, he says unto himself…

“I should really start acting my age…Okay, I should really act like I’m nearly 50...Fuck it, but can I at least have some sense of grown-up decency before I die for Godssakes and go out on top as an adult male, you old man!!?”

Y’know?  I think about my own demise…I don’t think of it in terms of how it will be regaled like the Lady of Shallot’s boyfriend being sailed down the river in a pine box, but I think that…

Considering my family history, I am not long for this world in relative terms of time and space, however, and here is what drives me…

I am doing what I want to  do, and dare I say, what I was meant to do.

I remember a couple of years ago, my wife, the uber-toxic Janet said to me…

“I told Ryno (my son) that if he didn’t he didn’t start getting better grades, he would end up working at a Drive-Thru like Dad.”

To which I thought to myself…

“This is the same woman who when I had a chest tube in me, asked if it would reach to the ATM Machine!!”

Nonetheless, it hurt my feelings…on both counts.

But over the last couple of years, while I used to carry anger toward her, I have chucked it away because really…

Can a sane person, really ask a hospital patient with over a gallon of lung funk in his body for money?  No, and a sane, self-described Christian person, doesn’t ask that of him.

So?  I just chalk her comments of hatred and belittlement of me up to, well…hurt, anger, and…bipolar craziness.

M’eh, I just don’t care anymore about that, and I am done knocking her…although it is quite fun, helps me to vent, and give a little of the same back to her from what I took from her the past thirteen years.

Of course, I would never claw her face, push her into the pantry, nor spit in her face like she did me.  What?

Anyhoo…

Yeah, I was going to start a segment about her on Sunday‘s Season Four IWS premier, but eh, it would just make me mad, and I don’t want that.

So instead, I chose to write about it, and now I feel better.

I know that this was not the funniest post ever, but maybe now, come Sunday on the IWS Radio Show, I’ll be funnier, because this has really been bothering me, and now?

I have let it go…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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