MSJS LVII (featuring: Schmoop)

Matt said some things, Jay said some things, You just sat there and listened.

Matt: HUSH! I’m listening to the B-52’s!
Jay:
Matt: Are you there?
Jay: Yeah
Matt: Okay
Jay: You said you were listening to the B-52’s
Matt: I turned it off cause YOU RUINED IT!
Jay: Oh, okay. Anyway, what’s up?
Matt: You’re heartless
Jay: No, I just don’t have any social skills.
Matt: We’ve all noticed. A few people have even said something about it.
Jay: Very hurtful
Matt: You should appreciate their honesty though
Jay: Whatever. Anyway, get ready for some Heidi Montag hits on the blog
Matt: Why?
Jay: She’s headlining the Crazy Horse III strip club in Vegas
Matt: Well I’m glad things are going well for her.  Here, talk to Schmoop.

Schmoop: Where the hell did Heidi come from anyway?
Jay: She came from her mom’s va…
Schmoop: NOOO … I mean how did she become a celebrity
Jay: Oh, she was on The Hills on MTV
Schmoop: I don’t think I ever saw it
Jay: Oh I did. I watched it for the first few years.
Schmoop: Seriously? You watched that?
Jay: Oh yeah. Love Lauren Conrad
Schmoop: Oh stop!
Jay: I’m serious! I loved her on Laguna Beach then The Hills
Schmoop: I’m worried about you
Jay: At least I don’t watch The Kardashians
Schmoop: You know Kloe doesn’t have the same dad? (allegedly)
Jay: O.J. Simpson is her dad?
Schmoop: Maybe. Or possibly several other men. But, you can tell by looking.
Jay: I know. She’s so much hotter than Kim and Kourtney
Schmoop: Where the hell is Matt?

Matt: What were you two talking about?
Jay: The Hills
Matt: Heidi Montag’s hills?
Jay: The show on MTV
Matt: Do you think we could actually get some work done?
Jay: This is work. It’s all part of the creative process.
Matt: Well, that’s true.
Jay: I’m inspired by booze and broads
Matt: How did we not think of naming the show that?
Jay: I have no idea

Matt: So, this week we have the HAWT Missalicious!
Jay: Oh yeah baby!
Matt: She has hilarious stories to tell
Jay: She’s been in some weird situations
Matt: And she’s met Eddie Murphy
Jay: But, not without incident
Matt: Ha! Just as it should be
Jay: Okay, this will be great. We’ll just let Miss be her usual charming self.
Matt: It’ll be a fun time
Jay: Alright, I guess we’re ready
Matt: I guess we are.

So there you go kids! Another thrilling edition of MSJS. And, don’t forget to join us as we welcome the lovely and hilarious Missy as our special guest on IWS this Sunday at 12 Noon ET! You’ll fall in love with her, guaranteed!

Jenna Talackova Naked!! Heidi Montag Naked!! Donald Trump Naked!!

Y’know folks…something disturbing happened yesterday.

I, the Matt-Man, the man of a thousand quotes, queries, and quantitative physics problems rolling around in my head at any given time was called…

“A twelve year old.”

In fact my friends, and lovers of all things I’m With Stupid related, the exact quote was this…

“I think both you and Jay are a couple of dudes with the sense of humor of twelve year old boy.”

After three minutes of loudly feigning expressing my outrage, and correcting her quantitative grammar problem, I bellowed to the loquitur of said character impugnment:

“I am not a twelve year old boy, and my humor is always on the cutting edge.”

What I really wanted to say was, in my best impersonation of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown:

“I am the God of hell fire and I bring you fire…”  and continue on in my Al Sharpton voice by saying:

“Oh look at you…you gots the blueberries alllll over your face.”  But…

I didn’t.  For that would be juvenile.

So instead, I attacked her accusatory statement by using simple, everyday logic with the following diatribe…

Listen…

You act like Jayman and I are nothing but a couple of heathens who want nothing more than to score cheap hits on our website by posting tawdry pictures of hot babes that are labeled with their name followed by, “naked”, or “sexy”, or “boobies”.

If that were the case, I would post a picture of the new transgender Miss Universe contestant from Canada, Jenna Talackova like this one:

And then, would label it with her name and add something like, “naked, hot, sexy” to it, which I did, but only to illustrate a point.

I am all for former men being invited to participate in Donald Trump’s Miss Universe pageant.  Does that sound like the attitude of a twelve year old?

Uh-huh…I didn’t think so...and just like I asked Donald Trump on Twitter last night…

“Does she have camel toe?”

Tell a twelve year old to come up with that line of humor.  Word.

See?  Jayman and I, are men of sophisticated tastes, humor, and upbringing.

You’ll never catch me making fun of stroke-ridden Dick Clark by saying, “Happy Doo Year” and then miscounting down to the New Year.

You’ll never hear Jayman uttering, “Trick or Treating in the projects would suck.”

Nope.  We are far more sophisticated than that.  Far more sophisticated than a twelve year old boy.

We don’t make wee-wee jokes, poopie jokes, or hoo-ha jokes.

We simply tell it like it is, and we do not, and will not post cheap pictures like this:

Because, well…it isn’t right.

Instead, we write on this site and turn in high performance shows like the one we did yesterday…

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

And remember, as a cutting edge comedic person without the sense of humor of twelve year old, I also do not find it funny when I am watching TV and a commercial for Siemens comes on. Trust me, I do not laugh at Siemens commercials, nor would I title this post in a manner simply to attract readers.  I'm not a frickin' twelve year old for Godssakes. Cheers!! Matt-Man