Monday, April 16, 2012

Jenna Talackova Naked!! Heidi Montag Naked!! Donald Trump Naked!!

Y’know folks…something disturbing happened yesterday.

I, the Matt-Man, the man of a thousand quotes, queries, and quantitative physics problems rolling around in my head at any given time was called…

“A twelve year old.”

In fact my friends, and lovers of all things I’m With Stupid related, the exact quote was this…

“I think both you and Jay are a couple of dudes with the sense of humor of twelve year old boy.”

After three minutes of loudly feigning expressing my outrage, and correcting her quantitative grammar problem, I bellowed to the loquitur of said character impugnment:

“I am not a twelve year old boy, and my humor is always on the cutting edge.”

What I really wanted to say was, in my best impersonation of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown:

“I am the God of hell fire and I bring you fire…”  and continue on in my Al Sharpton voice by saying:

“Oh look at you…you gots the blueberries alllll over your face.”  But…

I didn’t.  For that would be juvenile.

So instead, I attacked her accusatory statement by using simple, everyday logic with the following diatribe…

Listen…

You act like Jayman and I are nothing but a couple of heathens who want nothing more than to score cheap hits on our website by posting tawdry pictures of hot babes that are labeled with their name followed by, “naked”, or “sexy”, or “boobies”.

If that were the case, I would post a picture of the new transgender Miss Universe contestant from Canada, Jenna Talackova like this one:


And then, would label it with her name and add something like, “naked, hot, sexy” to it, which I did, but only to illustrate a point.

I am all for former men being invited to participate in Donald Trump’s Miss Universe pageant.  Does that sound like the attitude of a twelve year old?

Uh-huh…I didn’t think so...and just like I asked Donald Trump on Twitter last night…

“Does she have camel toe?”

Tell a twelve year old to come up with that line of humor.  Word.

See?  Jayman and I, are men of sophisticated tastes, humor, and upbringing.

You’ll never catch me making fun of stroke-ridden Dick Clark by saying, “Happy Doo Year” and then miscounting down to the New Year.

You’ll never hear Jayman uttering, “Trick or Treating in the projects would suck.”

Nope.  We are far more sophisticated than that.  Far more sophisticated than a twelve year old boy.

We don’t make wee-wee jokes, poopie jokes, or hoo-ha jokes.

We simply tell it like it is, and we do not, and will not post cheap pictures like this:


Because, well…it isn’t right.

Instead, we write on this site and turn in high performance shows like the one we did yesterday…



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And remember, as a cutting edge comedic person without the sense of humor of twelve year old, I also do not find it funny when I am watching TV and a commercial for Siemens comes on. Trust me, I do not laugh at Siemens commercials, nor would I title this post in a manner simply to attract readers.  I'm not a frickin' twelve year old for Godssakes. Cheers!! Matt-Man

12 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

And neither am I .. SO THERE!

PFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: DAMN RIGHT!! Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Adam said...

I'm all for transgender people to compete. I would also wish that their history remain unknown during the contest to avoid bias with potentially bigoted judges. I think someone like Talackova winning Miss Universe Canada would push the envelope in a good way for society of equality.

Mike said...

“I think both you and Jay are a couple of dudes with the sense of humor of twelve year old boy.”

You realize that this statement only gives each of you credit for half of a twelve year old.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Allowing transgender people to compete would certainly up the number of possible participants in some local contests.

Beth said...

I rest my case;)

I'm With Stupid said...

Adam: I agree wholeheartedly and I'm off for it. It's also kinda hot in Jerry Springer kinda of way. Cheers Adam!!

Matt-Man

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: I Know!! It's Outrageous!! Our genius is lost on some people. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man

I'm With Stupid said...

Evil: Excellent point. There are many people here in Bagwine, Ohio that I have often wondered about gender wise. Cheers Pop Tart!!

Matt-Man

I'm With Stupid said...

Beth: Blasphemer!! Cheers Schmoop!!

Matt-Man

jack mehoff said...

i;m pretty sure i'm a 12 y/o in a 30somes body, is there a reassignment surgery for that? like putting my brain in a 12y/o's and a 30somes in mine? i think people all around would be more happy. cept that i couldnt have sex. that would suck. scratch all the aforementioned. i will just live with being 12 inside 30some.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jack: Ha. Yes it's good to be able to have sex once in awhile You're making a wise decision on this one. Cheers Jack!!

Matt-Man