Mary Magdalene: Jay, Matt, and IWS Radio Are The Holy Trinity

Hi All...Mary Magdalene here and I am soooooo spiritually ready to listen to Jay, Matt, and the IWS radio crew tomorrow.

Right now as I type this on a lonely Friday night, my boyfriend Jesus, or as you may know him, The Savior, is floating and flitting about in the great astronomical skies above us, but...

By the time you read this, he will be but one day away from returning to Earth and once again captivating our minds and imaginations...or something.

While I am waiting for my supernatural stud-muffin to return to Earth, I want to take a minute to tell you all to listen to Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team LIVE tomorrow from Noon- 2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Those two chuckleheads are funnier than watching a camel trying to pass through the eye of a needle...yeah, the bible is full of embellishments, but...and anyhoo...

Tomorrow is gonna be mostly about my boyfriend Jaycee and in fact, here is what IWS Radio says about tomorrow's show...

Jesus Christ has pushed away that stone and is roamin' free along the highways and byways of Galilee, so Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are celebrating the Easter resurrection and rebellious nature of Jaycee himself. Joining Jay and Matt in this Easter party will be Rev. Moneymaker, Stand-Up Jesus doing his schtick at Ha-Ha's in Haifa, and we'll hear from Jesus' lesser known brother Festus Christ.

Jay and Matt will also be playing some awesome Christian music and some awful Christian music to get you toes a tappin'. They will also talk about what's on their Easter Feast menu and try to answer that age old question that has gone unanswered for centuries...

Why do so many Christians rudely celebrate the resurrection of a supernatural Jew by eating ham on Easter Sunday?

All of that plus your phone calls at 661.244.9852 as IWS Radio presents: Jesus Christ: Rebel Without A Cross.

So there you have it...Jay, Matt, and IWS Radio celebrating my boyfriend on Easter Sunday. Let's tell him that we love him, and listen LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET as Jay, Matt and IWS Radio present Jesus Christ: Rebel Without a Cross.

To listen LIVE click right HERE!!

Hey Israel? Syria Is YOUR Neighbor and Has a Broken Washing Machine...Why Does America Have to Wash Their Dirty Laundry?

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and Happy Thursday to you all!!

I have a couple of really concretely solid topics to touch upon, but those are best left to be mediaized on this Sunday’s next, sure to be #1 IWS Radio show, so?

I am going to down a 211 and just let my thoughts flow on here today.  Mmmmm’kay?

Dateline…Matt-Man’s head…

You know what would we be cool…If instead of degrading Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s chemical weapons with missiles, we instead, gassed the entire country of Syria, but instead of using serin or mustard gas, we used laughing gas!!

That would be fucking hilarious.  A bunch of punch drunk extremists with guns walking around feeding each other falafels all the while tea is pouring out the side of their mouths like they’re doped up on Novocain. Ha!!

And what’s up with Israel?  Everyone is worried about what will happen to Israel over this crisis.  The only ones not worried about the Syrian Civil War are the Israelis and their 2 Billion Dollars a year from the U.S.

Listen Israel…We give you 2 Bil a year to help arm yourselves and Syria is on your border, so could we see a little action out of you?  I know you are busy building tin shack “settlements”, but really?

If Moses were alive today, he with his Rod of God in hand, would walk straight over to Damascus turn their rivers and their streets red with blood, and then return to Tel Aviv and rain toads down upon you, the Israelites, for being such pussies.

Seriously…Netanyahu and all of you serve who in the Israeli legislative body of the Knish?  You need to ask yourselves, What Would Moses Do?

In fact, and now I am getting a little steamed…it’s as if the State of Israel expects us, the United States of America to protect her.  It’s as if  we Americans are the savior of the State of Israel.  Hmmmmmmm?

The last time there was a savior walking around in the land of Israel, the Jews preferred some dude named Barabbas, and helped to kill the Holy Baby Jesus.

So boys and goils…enjoy your Rosh Hashanah, and delight in the fact that you will surely nail your America savior and benefactor to the cross in the near future.

I hurt my knee today.  I knocked it into a twelve pack of Dr. Pepper…Did Israel care?  Hell No!!  They didn’t even send me any chicken soup with matzo balls.  It’s such a one way relationship.

Ha…you know what?

My Stream of Consciousness thing actually turned out to be focused, and really?  Here’s the thing…

I am not pro-war…I am very anti-war, but y’know?

I get tired of hearing about how a solution and pathway to peace may be possible in the Middle East.

It never will.  There are far too many zealots with far too many strident and monocular ideologies involved.

Perhaps if we attack Syria, which I agree with, that may trigger an expansion of the conflict that sets the region on fire.  I feel bad about that, but then I think…

Eh…so what, because as much as I hate death and destruction, it is an inevitability, because the unholy trinity of radical acolytes of Muslims, Jews, and Christians want it.

To people like that, it’s just a matter of how and when.

And sadly, upstairs in the supernatural open bar of heaven, God, Allah, Buddha, or whatever one prefers to refer to Him as, are sipping on a bottle of Jack and saying…

“Maybe there is another planet we could try this life thing on, ‘cause it ain't working here.”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Christians of Convenience

Cheeeeeeers Chuckleheads…

We are already a full week into Lent and before you know it, many will be celebrating the fact that Jesus dangled from a cross, got stuffed into a cave, and then a couple days later walked back out in order to roam the Earth for awhile, pick up some Chinese food, and then head up the astral staircase to lounge about with his dad for all eternity.

What a great time to be a Christian!!

Of course…anytime is a great time to be a Christian, well…provided it doesn’t interfere with one’s personal moral compass, or their bigotry, or their intolerance, or…their whoring, their judging, their hypocrisy, their…well, you get the picture.

Yes indeed, even more so than at Christmas, during the Easter season there are Christians, Christians all around, yet not a drop of grace to drink.

Certainly, there are plenty of people who call themselves Christians and proudly sashay down the runway of pretentiousness draped in bejeweled trappings of haughtiness and a tiara or top hat of arrogance, acting as though they had just been named Mr./Miss Jesus Christ is Lord 2013, but…

Beneath the saintly veneer of these self-regaling righteous ones, exists the anti-soul of the Devil, and persons who have no time for beatitudinal details.

Take my neighbor, Little Jimmy Stewart for instance…Claims to be a devout Catholic…a devout Christian. Believes in in God, guns, and his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Hell, he reminds me of Lt. Kendrick in A Few Good Men, albeit an out of shape Lt. Kendrick.

Seriously, ol’ Jimmy thinks of himself as a follower of Christ, so much that, he has scorned and chastised me for often using Christ as a comedy tool. “That’s not funny. You make fun of Jesus, and you are going to Hell.”

Two things about that…First of all, Jimmy boy has no sense of humor, because like it or not, using the purity and sanctity of Jesus and twisting it into something gross, sexual, and/or amoral is fucking funny, and secondly?

People like Jim, and there are plenty, shouldn’t tell me how offensive I am being by making Jesus jokes when their Facebook pages are littered with nothing but bigoted posts, anti-gay posts, Obama is a non-citizen nigger posts, and holding weenie roasts/Quran burnings like Jim did a couple of 9/11’s ago.

Hypocrisy I tellz ya…Hypocrisy in its basest and most definable form, and the pity is, most of them never see it, because, Jesus loves them this they know for their ignorance tells them so.

Hell I know a couple of women, one in particular.  She has the perfect family, the perfect marriage, goes to church religiously, and scorns me for not going to Church and like Jim, berates me for having some occasional comedic fun with the Holy Baby Jeebus. She too, has in the past, told me that I am going to Hell.

She’s really amazing because let me tell you, between her sinful vanity sessions of having her capped teeth cleaned, her manufactured tits adjusted, and giving blow jobs to the barber across town who is not her husband, I have no idea how the hell she has any time left in the day to judge me!!  But by golly, I guess the Lord gives her 25 hours in a day because…She’s a Christian!!

Uuch…

Listen folks.  It’s fine to call oneself a Christian.  I do, however…I admit my mistakes, my failings, my transgressions, and more often that not, publicly.  On Facebook.  Or on the air.  Or on here. Sometimes to Jayman’s chagrin…Anyhoo…

Here’s my Lenten message to all of you self-proclaimed Christians who rationalize your shortcomings and eat from the body of Christ ala carte…

Quit being such phony fucks.  There is no shame in failing as a human being and sinning here and there, but to pretend that you don’t, that is the greatest sin of all, because when you do that, you never seek forgiveness, and more importantly, you never change your ways.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
.