Thursday, November 6, 2014

America's Best Fast Food Restaurants

Last Thursday, upon these hailed and hallowed pages of the IWS website, Jayman listed his fifteen favorite fast food spots.  As I am still hung-over twenty-four hours after the end of my election night bender, I shall do the same, however…

As I truly am hung-over as I type this, I am going to list but the mere top ten of my favorite deliciously greasy fast food joints…

10. Culver’s…Culver’s Butter Burgers are simply da bomb.  They are not huge.  They don’t look special in any form nor fashion, but whatever the hell they season their meat with is addictive.  The only reason I place them as low as #10 is because there isn’t one within drunk driving distance of my home.

9.  Subway…Subway is quick and offers plenty of options, but there are a lot of questionable hands fingering my toppings and while delicious, the grease factor is sub-standard.

8.  Waffle House…While it is actually a sit down restaurant, the ambience in each and every one screams fast food denoted by the fact that damn near every Waffle House store sign has at least one light burned out. Cover me, smother me, and slap my drunk ass with a handful of bacon grease.  Waf*le H*use is awesome!!

7.  Wendy’s…Some of the freshest and greasiest burgers around.  Love me a Wendy’s triple with cheese, mustard and pickles.  It’s a beautiful thing but the price tag for said heart attack on a bun? Well let’s just say that nowadays, Wendy’s should offer financing on their meals.

6.  Steak n Shake…Great burgers, good fries, and prices are not bad.  And if you are nursing a morning after hang-over, they have offer a pretty damn good breakfast menu.

5.  McDonald’s…Filet O’ Fish, Big Mac, Double Cheeseburger, and fries that are always tasty, I love me some Mickey D’s.  Much like Wendy’s they too have gotten a bit pricier over the years as far as fast food goes, but I am still a fan of the clown food.

4.  Hardee’s…As a former employee of Hardee’s during my High School years, I came to love Hardee’s. From the Monster Thickburger to their newest Mile High Bacon Whatever or Mushroom ’n’ Swiss monstrosity, Hardee’s consistently proves that size (and greasiness) matters.

3.  Taco Bell…What the hell is not to like?  For Godssakes…Soft tortillas ensconcing ground meat, cheese, and sour cream.  A hard shell hugging ground meat, cheese, and sour cream. Burritos, tacos, enchiladas, are all fun and tasty words to say…especially when drunk!!

2.  Rally’s…As their commercials say, “Ya Gotta Eat.”  I go to Rally’s at least twice a month and they are by far the biggest bang for the buck fast food destination in the land.  Huge juicy burgers that go for 2 for $3 or 2 for $4 and the world’s best seasoned fries.  And the wait in line…Quickest fast food Drive-Thru bar none.

1.  White Castle…A suitcase of White Castle cheeseburgers with onion and pickle and a gross of onion chips and I am in heaven.  Those little sliders are chock full of taste and colon cleansing powers to the nth degree. Sure the don’t call them Belly Bombers for nothing, but man…Drunk, sober, or on death row, they sure as hell taste great going down.

So there you have it…My fave fast food places on Earth.  Try some of them out this weekend and tell em’ Matt-Man sent ya.


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Mike said...

They're number 1! They're number 1!!!

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Ha...I love them!! Cheers Mike!!


I'm With Stupid said...

Rally's has really great burgers. I wish we had one here in Redneck-Cottonville. Maybe it's best that there isn't one though.


I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Ha...You could eat out every day. Two nearly half-pound burgers for 3 or 4 bucks. Get outta here!! That's cray-cray. Cheers Jayman!!


jAMiE said...

Most of those we don't have here in my neck of the woods...but Wendy's would be my number 1 pick...i always get tons of pickles on my double. LOVE their Frosties too.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jamie: I load up on the pickles as well. Cheers Jamie!!


Anonymous said...

Wa*fle H*ouse is a great place to have a hangover breakfast.

I'm With Stupid said...

Anony: It certainly is. When I worked mainly in Columbus I would hit it twice a week. Cheers!!