Wednesday, January 22, 2014

You Won't Believe What Happened at Work Yesterday

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads, Matt-Man here.

You are not going to believe what happened to me and the owner of the Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Road in Bagwine, OH.) yesterday.

I got there, as I always do, around 2 P.M.  Mike (the owner) and I were making small talk about how cold it has been and how much colder it will be getting, and then?

BAM!!  SPLASH!! BAZINGA!! CRASH!!

We both raced out of the semi-warm office to find what the noise was, and lo and behold, we couldn‘t believe our own sets of paired eyes as we stared at the drive thru floor and cooler doors.

I looked at Mike, and asked him…

“Holy Cow!!  Can you believe that shit?”

And Mike responded with much the same disbelief…

“Damn, that is fucking crazy!!”

We stared in disbelief for twenty seconds or so, although it seemed like an hour, and then looked at each other, and spontaneously and simultaneously said to one and other with mouths agape…

“This is July 24, 2012 all over again!!”

Just as we were preparing to fix the catastrophe, our buddy and one of our regulars, Keith, pulls in and says…

“Holy Shit…What the hell just happened?  That’s fucked up.”

Mike told him that maybe he should just take his beer, quit staring, and move along, but shortly afterward, as Mike and I were discussing what to do, Casey pulled in.

Ah yes, the affable, adorable, and hot Casey of the long reddish-brown hair, perky personality, and perkier breasts pulled in and said…

“Ha!!  You guys have quite the mess on your hands.  Could I get a case of Bud Light, a pack of smokes, and a bottle of wine while you are cleaning up.?”

After Mike and I argued over who would wait on Casey while the other began to clean up the devastation, I gave Casey her change, collected a well-deserved tip, and Mike said to me…

“Matt-Man, come here…You ain't going to believe what this shit left behind.”

And I didn't…It was supernatural.

After the events of July 24, 2012, I never believed that this would have ever happened at the Beer Mine again, and then Mike said to me…

“You know? We go to work every day; we do right by the Lord, and yet?  This same shit keeps happening over and over again.”

I looked upon the catastrophe that had just taken place, and with Mike’s words in my head said unto myself…

“Mike speaks the truth, but damn, and in spite of the suffering that took place here today…That Casey chick is hot.”

And there you go…a story of mayhem, rue, and regret from the Beer Mine.  May your today be better than your yesterday.

And let me tell you...if this ever happens again, you will be the first to know!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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4 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

So what did happen?

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Exactly!! Cheers Jayman!!

Matt

Mike said...

You and Mikey have never seen me do that have you. It's a long drive but worth it.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: So it was you!? You have mad skillz!! Cheers Mike!!

Matt