Tuesday, January 21, 2014

A Long and Difficult Monday

Holaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! You know, my buddy Matt-Man has had to shovel a couple of tons of snow every day down at the Beer Mine. It looks pretty brutal and I guarantee you I wouldn’t do it. I try to have sympathy for Matt and all that shoveling, but it’s tough to when I’m dealing with all the shit that’s going on here.

Oh sure it was 63 degrees and sunny today. And I got to spend the day watching all the fallout of the “Richard Sherman is a Big Scary Black Man” incident after the NFC Championship game last night. And then there are the general “Damn it’s nice to be a white male in America” benefits that I enjoy daily. But, that doesn’t mean it was all sunshine, rainbows and Popsicles. In fact, it was kind of a rough day.

It started with me having to take my laptop in for service. Poor little fella! On Friday night I closed it and it went to sleep as usual, but then on Saturday morning it didn’t wake up. The computer was running, but the screen was black. I turned it off and back on and could hear the computer humming away, but the screen was still black.


I’m hoping it’s not anything too major. Like, maybe it’s just a little wire that broke or a switch that failed. I don’t know why I’m hoping that though cause nothing in my life up to this point has given me any reason to be positive or hopeful about just about anything. What really bothers me is how when I explained to the chick down at the computer fix-it place what the deal was she looked at me with this really “OMG THERE’S NO CURE FOR THIS!” look on her face.

Then, to make myself feel a bit better, I decided to have a couple of hotdogs for lunch. I got the little skillet to fry them up in on the stove and put a plop of butter in it and grabbed the dogs out of the fridge.


Uhhhh yeah. 95% FAT FREE!!! Who in their right mind would even consider making a product like this? I mean sure, I should have paid closer attention to what I was grabbing at the store, but damn! It never occurred to me that they would make something like this. As I said on Facebook, this is practically tofu, right? Well, I tried it and just couldn’t do it. Barely got halfway through one dog and just had to toss them out.

THUMBS DOWN TO THE 95% FAT FREE HOTDOGS!!!

Needless to say, by this time I was pretty bummed. My best friend laptop was in the ER and my hotdogs were “healthy” and really gross. Things just weren’t going my way today. So, to cheer myself up, I went on Twitter to see what all the funny and happy people of the world were doing. Nothing ever provides a better pick-me-up than laughing at the good folks of Twitter. Unless it’s MLK Day of course…


Well, that didn’t work out as I hoped. What now? Okay, it’s dinner time, last chance for happiness for today. I decided to go with a semi-healthy and delicious meal of chicken tenders, artichoke hearts and pasta.


How was it? It was PERFECT!
1. Empty one can of extra small artichoke hearts into a strainer, wash and drain thoroughly.
2. Cook up four decent sized chicken tenders on the stove with some garlic powder and Cavender’s. Don’t be afraid to get them “blackened” but no burned. Remove from pan and cut them up.
3. Heat the artichoke hearts up in a small amount of olive oil and ¼ sick of butter. Toss the cut up chicken in with them and squirt some lemon juice on them. Let simmer on low.
4. Cook 4 oz of spaghetti in a big pot of boiling water.
5. Drain spaghetti and then throw it in the pan with the chicken and artichoke. Maybe squirt some more lemon juice on the pasta.
6. Let sit in the pan and get happy together on low while garlic bread is cooking.
7. Once the garlic bread is done, serve with a white wine and eat it with your mouth.

Then, enjoy your evening knowing that even if you experience dead laptop monitors, fat-free hot dogs and idiotic tweets, you can still make it all okay with food and wine.


1 comment:

I'm With Stupid said...

You are amazing...While you are experiencing a heart choking couple of days, you take artichokes and cook a silver lining. You are the uber-man. Cheers Jay!!

Matt