Holaaaaaaaa conspiracy theorists! We are only a couple of
days away from the 50th anniversary of the day that some emotionally
unbalanced dude climbed six flights of stairs on the Texas Schoolbook
Depository, set up at a window and waited for President Kennedy’s motorcade. When Kennedy’s car passed the building he took aim and fired a shot
from his squirrel hunting rifle. The bullet went through JFK’s neck, through
the seat in front him, through John Connally’s chest, arm and leg. Then
apparently it jumped out of Connally’s leg, ricocheted off the door of the
Presidential Caddy and hit JFK in the head. Or something like that.
Thus was born one of the truly great conspiracies of all
time. Did Lee Harvey Oswald shoot JKF and did he act alone? I threw it out on
my Facebook page today to see who believed what. I was a bit disappointed in
the results, but it’s possible that most people are really tired of the Kennedy
assassination conspiracies. Mostly I got answers like “The One-Armed Man” or “Obama”
or “Dick Cheney” jokes.
I did find it a bit humorous that some of the people who
believe every single right-wing and/or left-wing “the Illuminati and United
Nations (or Masons or New World Order or whothefuckever) have taken over our
government” conspiracy say they believe LHO acted alone and totally trust our
government to tell us the truth. But, if you really think about it, the idea
that Oswald acted alone is pretty much the least plausible of all the major
conspiracies and therefore it does make sense that these guys would believe it.
One interesting suggestion was that Howard Donahue, the
Secret Service’s own Barney Fife is the one who actually shot Kennedy in the
head. I love this theory only for the idea of an SS guy hearing a gunshot,
panicking, pulling his gun from its holster, struggling to put the bullet in it
and BLAM! He blows the head off the leader of the free world.
The lovely, talented and OMG SEXYASHELL Mz. Knight suggested
Sinatra was in on it. Given his Mafia connections and temper I can actually see
this happening. Maybe he did it to help his good friend Ronald Reagan out?
Maybe it was for Nixon. Maybe he was mad that Marilyn Monroe preferred JFK to
him? Who knows?
There were a couple of people who kinda believe it was the
Cubans, the Mafia, the CIA or J. Edgar Hoover. These are all fairly plausible
ideas. I mean, each of those organizations not only had reason to kill Kennedy,
but the resources to do it and keep it secret. Of course, these organizations
have never kept anything else a secret or pulled off anything this clever in
their existence, but you know, maybe something went at planned once for them?
The Jaymom has been working on this for many years and might
be onto something. She says that J. Edgar Hoover is behind it and that he
probably worked with the Mafia to get it done. She believes that Hoover was “owned”
by the Mafia and even if he didn’t conceive of the idea of killing Kennedy, he
was all in once it was proposed to him. This would make sense given that Hoover
denied the existence of the Mafia and butted heads with Attorney General Bobby
Kennedy over the prosecution of the non-existent organized crime families.
I would say that I pretty much agree with that. It was the
greatest Mafia hit of all time. They recruited Oswald and set him up as their
fall guy. Hoover knew of the plan and allowed it to go forward and even
protected its secrecy. But, I go a little further than the Jaymom. I also
believe that Jack Ruby was the guy on the Grassy Knoll (I once sat on the Grassy
Knoll and drank a Budweiser so I’m totally an expert on this) and that Ruby
killed Oswald to keep him quiet. I really don’t buy the theory that Ruby was
just a distraught night club owner. Dude was as mobbed up as Sinatra!
I guess we’ll never really know. Maybe there’s somebody
somewhere in the FBI or another government agency that will release all the
evidence and tell us the truth someday. I just hope if they do, it won’t be as
disappointing and anti-climactic as finding out that Mark Felt was “Deep
Throat.” What a letdown that was!
5 comments:
Ha...While your closing may be lost on some and/or many...Your Mark Felt line is classic!! Bravo and Cheers Jayman!!
Matt
There was a good PBS documentary on recently that showed how the three shots did what they did.
I hate conspiracy theories. I then go online and watch trillions of documentaries to find out the truth. I never do. And it makes me feel awful.
ALSO HOW DID MARILYN DIE? IS there a JFK connection there?
Oh the secrets.
Matt-Man: Mark Felt was the biggest disappointment in history!
Jay
Edita: Bobby Kennedy had Marilyn Monroe killed. I'm sure of it.
Jay
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