Hola y’all! One of the things people ask me about most is my
past. Seems as though I’m some kind of international man of mystery to most of
you people and you get to wondering about me. So, I thought I’d take everyone a
photographic journey through my life today and maybe you’ll know me a little
better that way.
I was born in the Spring of 1968, just before all hell broke
loose in America. Luckily, I arrived in time to attend the Woodstock Music
Festival in ’69 with my fellow “Free Love Hippies.”
Those were some good times. Dropping acid and making love
under the stars and shit like that. We were gonna change the world you know!
Well, those days eventually gave way to the Disco Era of the 70’s. More wild
times! I had a closet full of leisure suits and an awesome fro and was hitting
Studio 54 a few nights a week!
Unfortunately Disco died a brutal and untimely death and
things really got weird. The 80’s was
all about big hair, heavy metal music and cool fashion like Member’s Only
Jackets. I spent most of that decade on the West Coast partying and rock ‘n
rolling hard with the likes of Phoebe Cates.
Ohhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Hottest babe ever! That’s
pretty much all the 80’s had to offer though and by the time the 90’s hit we
were all ready for something completely different. Yeah, it was Grunge time y’all! Nasty hair,
plaid shirts and jackets and all the music was just someone mumbling into the
microphone bitching about some shit nobody could understand.
It was awful really. The mosh pits were gross and full of
guys who never showered or anything. People were doing crack and meth and it
just wasn’t as fun as the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s had been. Mostly it was meaner
and there was a lot less love to go around.
Then the 2000’s hit and things got a lot worse. All we ever
did was hang out on street corners in our Sopranos style track suits flashing
our bling and keeping folks in line. People were up to all kinds of dirty deals
too. Not just selling a little weed to the working man or even just crack and
meth to freaks either. We were into serious corruption like money laundering
and providing protections. It got pretty scary yo ….
I’m glad those days are behind me. You know that partying
all the time and doing drugs and gang-banging and shit is a young man’s game. I
ain’t about that life anymore. Nope. Today I’m just your average everyday
mild-mannered internet
radio star who sometimes shows up on the red carpet with someone like Blake
Lively …
I guess we all gotta grow up sometime right? A whole
lifetime of Rock ‘n Roll and partying and living in the fast lane is just too
much. I mean, I’m glad I did it cause those were some wild times no doubt, but
this whole international celebrity thing has its advantages too. I guess all
this just gets mixed together and makes me the man I am today.
I hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane.
8 comments:
That entire post was nearly as beautiful as Blake Lively herself. Fine job Jayman. Cheers!
Matt-Man
I think you should start up Studio 55. I'll be there to support you.
Wow, you've done it all! Totally jealous;)
Matt-Man: She's kind of perfect.
Jay
Mike: That's a brilliant idea!
Jay
Schmoop: I have and I think I might do it again!
Jay
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