Matt Said, Jay Said 4 (Non Blondes)

Matt impersonates Dick Morris.  Jay impersonates Dick Morris.  You feel the need to take a shower.

Matt:  Yo Yo and speak to me.
Jay:  Hi…This is Dick Morris is the lady of the house available, and if she is, what is she wearing?
Matt:  Well Hi…Dick Morris here too, and my 400 dollar an hour Asian girlfriend is here wearing nothing but a silk kimodo.
Jay:  Hee Hee…Don’t you mean that she is wearing a kimono?
Matt:  Oops…guess I was wrong yet again.  I seem to have a knack for that.

Jay:  So?  What up?
Matt:  M’eh.  Nothing much and you?
Jay:  Had chicken and made some Stove Top stuffing this evening.
Matt:  Sweet.  I looove stuffing.  You used broth instead of water in the stuffing didn’t you?
Jay:  Oh Hell yeah.  Using broth instead of water in Stove Top stuffing puts that exclamation point on it.
Matt:  IKR?  Broth brings out the spi--
Jay:  Should we…two manly men…be discussing the proper way to prepare Stove Top stuffing?
Matt:  Well…A good stuffing is important
Jay:  See?  That’s what I mean?  What you just said, sounds like the title of a Thanksgiving Day themed gay porn flick.
Matt:  Ai yi yi…you’re right.

(After an awkward thirty seconds of silence as Jay tweets a hot babe, and Matt tells Schmoop how sexy she is and how much he likes women…)

Jay:  So?  Sunday’s show?
Matt:  Um…I was thinking…We may be sarcastic bastards ’n’ shit but we are pretty nice guys.
Jay:  Yes we are.  Always there for others.  Emotionally philanthropic if you will.
Matt:  Yep.  Always a kind word for others.
Jay:  Sometimes we are too sweet for our own good.
Matt:  Exactly…We could do a show about how damn sweet and nice we are.
Jay:  Sounds Great!!

(After more pen clicking and Matt peeing in the sink…)

Matt and Jay:  Eh, I’m not feeling that.

Matt:  I had some chick follow me on Twitter today.  Said that she is a fan of IWS and she’s a lesbian.
Jay:  Man…We have several lesbians who read our site and listen to our show.  What’s up with that?
Matt:  I haven’t a clue, but I have noticed that too.
Jay:  Maybe they find us endearing as they know that as lesbians, we won’t hit on them.
Matt:  Exactly…

Matt and Jay:  Ha Ha Ha Ha, like that matters!!
Jay:  IKR?
Matt:  Lesbian or not?
Jay:  Who’s gonna be hitting on a hot, gay chick?
Matt and Jay:  THESE guys!!

Matt:  Alright, I guess we are set.
Jay:  Yep.  We’ll talk hot lesbians.
Matt:  Freaky lesbians.
Jay:  How that all works.
Matt:  Gotta know whose role is whose.

Jay:  Maybe some lesbians will call in and give you and I tips on how we can make a gay marriage work?
Matt:  We are soooo ready.
Jay:  Toodles!!
Matt:  Buh bye.

You can catch all the HOT LIVE Lesbian action this Sunday at Noon ET on IWS Radio.  To listen LIVE and/or call-in, click HERE!!