Saturday, September 15, 2012

MSJS LIV

Matt verbally defrocks, Jay verbally defrocks…You, listen and gawk in awe.

Matt:  Hiya Chuckles; what be the shakes?
Jay:  The shakes?
Matt:  Yeah, the shakes.  The haps?
Jay:  The shakes?  The haps?  Are you inarticulately trying to ask me what is going on?
Matt:  Yes.
Jay:  So…you’re a 47 year old man, stuck in the 70’s, who’s speaking like he’s 12.
Matt:  Whoa, dude…I never knew YOU were a numbers guy too!!
Jay:  Word.

Matt:  So what should we talk about on Sunday’s Sho---Oh hell, I forgot to tell you…
Jay:  What!!?  Tell me what!!?
Matt:  Schmoop is no longer interested in marrying you.
Jay:  What!?  Why the fuck not?

Matt:  She read on Twitter today that you find cottage cheese to be disgusting.
Jay:  It is…It’s gross, it’s worse than mayonnaise, and I fucking hate mayonnaise.
Matt:  She likes mayo and was willing to let you slide on that, but she can’t forgive your disdain for cottage cheese.
Jay:  So…Instead of moving here, marrying me, and forcing me into a lifetime of being told what to do, when to do it, and feeding me shit that involves mayo and cottage cheese, I am once again relegated to the lifestyle of a single man?
Matt:  That’s about the size of it.

Jay:  I…am…crushed.
Matt:  You’ll get over it.
Jay:  I think I just did.  So, Sunday…How about a Porn Show?

Matt:  Haven’t we done one already?
Jay:  You would have thought so, but I checked, and no we haven’t.
Matt:  Wow…that’s weird.
Jay:  I know, right!!

Matt:  Alrighty then, porn it is.
Jay:  We can talk about our favorite stars.
Matt:  What snacks go best with porn.
Jay:  Porn movies we’d like to see be made.
Matt:  Jewish porn.
Jay:  Is there such a thing?  I mean Gold Meir was pretty freaking hot, but did she ever get naked on camera?

(Matt coughed, dropped the phone, and was told by Schmoop to get her a beer)

Matt:  So the Porn Show it is…Ha!!
Jay:  What’s so funny?
Matt:  I can see you titling the show, “Porn Extravaganza”, and BTR censoring the title.
Jay:  Ha!!  They’re pretty fucked up, but they allowed a show to air titled, “Worst Head Ever”, how could they censor a show titled, Porn Extravaganza?
Matt:  Eh, we’ll see.  Oh and dig it…Even though the marriage is off, Schmoop will talk dirty to you on air.
Jay:  If that happens, I have one word for you my friend, “HOT!!”

Matt:  Alright.
Jay:  Aight…I think we are set.

So, join Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio as they talk porn, live porn, make porn, and talk about Matt-Man’s dirty little secret that was his foray into porn.

You can catch the action live Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio by clicking HERE.

10 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

And in a shocking development, BTR did censor the word "porn." Obviously, we have no choice but to say the word "porn" a thousand times during the show.

Cottage Cheese is just sooooooo nasty.

Jay

Anonymous said...

I guess the Lemonade sale was too wholesome and now need to go the other direction boys?? :) Miss

I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: Y'know...It's like pointy-headed BTR clowns are sitting in the office asking, "How can we we keep these non-paying motherfuckers from being Number One again?" Cheers Jayman!!

I'm With Stupid said...

Miss: We like to keep things in balance. One week a wholesome show, one week a sexy show, but keep in mind, even during last week's show you were talking about your glazed muffins. Cheers Miss!!

Matt-Man

Anonymous said...

Ohh brother!! I didn't know what that meant! You two try to behave!! Miss

I'm With Stupid said...

Miss: Uh-huh, of course you didn't. That's what THEY all say. Cheers Miss!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

Is this how the porn show is going to start? Talking about eating Missys' muffin?

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: No!! We are professionals who are above that. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

I'm outraged on behalf of Missy's muffins!

I'm glad this is radio and there won't be any video, but just in case I'm going to have my Catholic saint trading cards nearby. I turn to them whenever life gets too filthy and twitterpating.

Jo said...

Also, small irregular cheeseballs swimming in their own cheese juice--what's not to love?