Sunday, September 18, 2011

First World Problems

One of the most common things you’ll find people doing online is complaining about things that really shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Whether it’s a free website or app that’s not working right, or a person of privilege being inconvenienced, social media is overrun with First World Problems. So, while people the world over are living in abject poverty and desperation, I thought I would list some examples of First World Problems that you might see on Twitter or other sites.

OMG! I can’t find the Packers/Panthers game online in HD!! 

It’s ridiculous that they didn’t make the parking spaces at Whole Foods big enough for SUVs. 

This DVR they gave me will only record one show at a time? That’s pathetic. 

The WiFi on this plane sucks balls! I’m so pissed! 

Our library doesn’t have e-books, so I have to go down there and check out the books I want. 

I guess I’ll have to lock the home office since the maid can’t remember that she doesn’t clean that room. 

GAHHHHHHH!! Quit interrupting The Vampire Diaries with that stupid fucking Amber Alert!

What? The town is going to require a parking sticker? Not on my Lexus! That’s just tacky. 

Room service stops at 10 pm? OMG! We’re staying in such a dump! 

Are you kidding? ESPN fantasy football live scoring isn’t working? Fucking losers. 

I’ve got SEVEN deadlines to meet this weekend. Remind me again why I wanted to be a writer? 

I can’t believe the price of gas. And OF COURSE I have to have a luxury import that takes premium only.
NetFlix stream is down AGAIN! That’s twice in the last three weeks. Getting old. 

This so called “Natural Foods” store doesn’t carry almond milk. So, basically it’s just another store. 

I guess I’ll have to go back to Starbucks. This place’s soy latte is just unacceptable. 

Found out I’m not one of the people getting laid off. Trip to Bermuda is off, I guess. Fucking bastards. 

Even having an option for Spanish on the ATM is a fucking outrage! 

Trying to get cash at the ATM in the airport in Venice, Italy. Finding the English option was not easy! 

Why do we bother with having a swimming pool if it’s only usable 4 months out of the year? 

This is the worst limo service EVER! Five minutes late and it’s a Lincoln instead of a Caddy. They’re fired! 

I can’t believe CBS’s shows aren’t available on On Demand. I hate having to watch online on my computer’s tiny 24” screen. 

Fucking Google Talk went down TWICE during my internet radio show. Completely unacceptable. 

My laptop backpack just totally ruined my shirt. I bet a Chanel bag wouldn't.

So, as you can see, not only are First World Problems not really problems, the people complaining about them are annoying as hell! So, think about that the next time you want to complain about what a burden your Mercedes is.

You know what else is a First World Problem? Being burdened with a big responsibility because of the HUGE success of your internet radio show. But, that’s the position we here at IWS find ourselves in. But, we aren’t complaining though. That’s not our style. 

However, on Saturday on I’m With Stupid, Matt-Man and Jayman did discuss some of the great things they have done for people using the awesome, far-reaching power of IWS. And, we talked about the one minor setback that we suffered at the hands of the ungrateful and downright rude Summy George. But, all we can do, is do the best we can. 

Also, Mike, Mrs. Mike and Dana all called in and we had a great discussion about very important issues of the day like NASCAR and Darius Rucker and other stuff. So, check it out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio


Mike said...

I've got the worst limo service ever. They've NEVER shown up!

I'm With Stupid said...

SPAM long ago, discontinued putting the gelatinous goo in the tins of their tasty, sodium based meat-type loaf. While I remain a loyal user, I am still pissed. Cheers!!


Jay said...

Mike: That's because the Google Map they're using is wrong and you haven't notified Google about it yet.

Matt: Vienna Sausages did the same thing. But, I found the change to be rather pleasant.

- Jay

Gnetch said...

Bu-bu-bu-but... This is what social media is for, right?

I mean...

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I bet you only made up two of those..the rest seem too real

Jay said...

Gnetch: Yes it is! Well, this and posting passive-aggressive rants. ;-)

Vinny: Ha! Most of them are pretty true.