Grillin' And Swillin' In Detroit Rock City

After a harsh and hilarious smackdown and sacking of Paducah, KY., the IWS Radio staff needs to take a deep breath and relax for a bit, however; we are currently without a permanent offcie. So, we have bought a house in Detroit and are having a Pool Party and Cookout Blowout!! Awwwww Yeahhhhh!!

Join us as we party down, dodge bullets, and blow off steam in the Motor City at our temporary digs. We'll supply the burgers, the booze, the laughs, and the clothing optional Paducah Community swimming pool that we stole last week. There will be witty banter, alcohol taste testing, good/bad music, and Jay and Matt will announce their final four nominees of cities that will, for the lucky city, house the new IWS Media and Entertainment Group Headquarters.

All of that plus the gorgeous and sassy Jamie Mapleleaf, and your calls at 661.244.9852 as IWS Radio presents: Grillin' And Swillin' In Detroit Rock City

Let the Mighty Eagle Soar!

You won’t find a better, more respectful or hilarious Memorial Day Extravaganza anywhere on the internet than IWS Radio’s “Make it a Memorial Day to Remember” kids! What did we discuss? Well ….

Guys wearing overalls with no shirt are very dangerous people. They get whatever they want.

Lloyd at the Walmart Deli in Redneckville is gonna have some chick snitch on his ass.

Jayman taped up his leaky sunroof with Gorilla Outdoor Clear Tape.

Grilling safety tips from the Beavercreek Ohio Fire Department.

Buddy Acapella got things off to a rousing start with a beautiful rendition of the National Anthem.

Mike Huckabee gave a stirring defense of Josh Duggar. Kind of.

Why won’t republicans condemn child molesters?

We came up with brutally bad patriotic songs by really terrible people this week!

G-Square called in and is gonna do some grilling when he feels physically and emotionally capable.

Paul Piatt with a special Memorial Day poem.

Gay … er … Guy Ahnurdyck live from Ireland!

Bobby Kraft tells us about the Battle of Pea Ridge

Drew Peacock grossed everyone out AGAIN by finding the sexy in Memorial Day. 

War movies are great! We especially love “Midway!”

Visit your local battlefield and learn a little history!

We’re devastated by the loss of David Letterman and are going to miss him immensely.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand so much more! Check it!

                             

Matt Said, Jay Said...Memorial Day 2013

Matt bugles…Jay trumpets…You sing, Taps.

Matt:  Bagwine residence, lady of the house speaking.
Jay:  Helloooo?  Helloooo?
Matt:  Helloooo?  Is this Jayman, the famous international internet radio star?
Jay:  You know it…Is this Matt-Man, the guy who prances around in Schmoop’s underwear?
Matt:  You had to go there, didn’t you?
Jay:  Of course, because not only is it funny…it’s HOT!!
Matt:  Word.

Jay:  So…Memorial Day weekend, what should we talk about?
Matt:  The Joy of Mayonnaise.
Jay:  Y’know…I love how you are so damn topical. Maybe this Christmas we can talk about Labor Day.
Matt:  I’m kidding.  I’m kidding.
Jay:  Alright then.  Can we be serious here?
Matt:  Yes we can.  Memorial Day HAS to be the topic.
Jay:  I know, because if we don’t honor the military early and often, we are sub-par radio hosts.
Matt:  And Communists
Jay:  And Troglodytes
Matt:  Don’t you mean, Trotskyites?
Jay:  Of course, that too.
Matt:  Uh-huh.

Jay:  So I was thinking we could honor those who gave all for our country.
Matt:  Sounds great, and as we should.
Jay:  But of course, do it in the light-hearted and jocular fashion that only IWS Radio can.
Matt:  Damn right.  Sometimes people take a person dying in defense of this country far too seriously.
Jay:  IKR?  It’s not like the fallen soldiers didn’t want to.  They were patriots and heroes; it’s in their blood.
Matt:  It’s in their DNA!!
Jay:  Exactly!!

Matt:  This show sounds as though it truly needs comforting words of prose from Paul Piatt.
Jay:  And the calming tones of Bobby Kraft speaking on wars and heroes gone unnoticed.
Matt:  And perhaps a weather report from Kirk Douglas so Americans can plan their cook-out schedules.
Jay:  Kirk will soooooo be there.

Matt:  We picked up a new sponsor for this week as well.
Jay:  Oh really?  Who?
Matt:  Incestry.Com
Jay:  That’s fucking funny!!  That adds a smile to the bittersweet and heartfelt solemnity of our show.
Matt:  That’s what I thought as well, I mean…
Jay:  You mean, it is right and dutiful to grieve for our fallen soldiers, but…
Matt:  But man?  Two hours of that shit?
Jay:  Exactly!!

Matt:  And speaking of fallen soldiers, we should also touch on exactly what Memorial Day is.
Jay:  Damn right.
Matt:  A day to honor those who died in battle.
Jay:  Yep.  Not those who came home alive…They have Veterans' Day.
Matt:  Nope, and not those currently serving.
Jay:  Oh hell no…Last Saturday was their day.  Armed Forces Day.

Matt:  And certainly not a day to honor those who design tree looking clothing for the soldiers to wear.
Jay:  Oh hell no, we celebrate those people on Arbor Day!!
Matt:  Word.

Jay:  So…I think we are ready for this week’s IWS Radio Memorial Day Show.
Matt:  Damn right.  We may even go, A Bridge Too Far!!
Jay:  Or end up cutting ourselves off, Midway through!!
Matt and Jay:  Oh Hell Yeah Baby, we’ll be talking war movies as well!!
Matt:  See you on the radio Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET LIVE.
Jay:  You know it big boy.

To catch this Sunday’s moving, yet hilarious IWS Radio show LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET, click HERE!!

We're Kind of Boring

Hola kids! As many or most of you know, I had a little family reunion to attend over the weekend. So, I thought I should come in here today and report back to everyone on how things went. The only problem is, there’s really not much to report. I mean, we went over to Yellville and hung out with everyone and had a nice time but that’s about it. There’s nothing all that exciting happening like there is with so many other families.

There wasn’t any good drama. Nobody got into an argument. A couple of cousins didn’t start shoving each other and square off while striking their best “Come at Me Bro” poses. Nobody had to separate an uncle and a nephew as they argued over who is the better chef, Giada De Laurentiis or Ina Garten. Nor was there any “Get your sister/brother and gather your stuff we’re leaving RIGHT NOW!” moments.

There weren’t any domestic disputes either. You know, husband and wife having a little disagreement because Mom let the kids have an Orange Crush and dad is mad because MY GOD they already had a Grape Shasta with their chips and salsa just 4 hours ago. Those are always fun because they rarely start over something important but they end with them going downstairs or into the garage and yelling at each other. And while they’re doing that the whole rest of the family sits in awkward silence because we can all hear them.

There was no “girl drama.” This usually ends with a female age 13 to 40 stomping off in a huff to one of the bedrooms and burying her face in the pillows crying cause she’s very sensitive and someone has hurt her feelings. The reasons for this can range from the silly personal insult to something very serious like someone saying “You know, Justin Bieber is a HUGE tool.” Girls are touchy. (Okay, for some families this where the whole “She was touched in her happy place by the creepy uncle, but we won’t get into that.”

And we don’t have Herb Tarlek’s or Jeff Lebowski’s. (Although I really have been tempted to do either one from time to time, but never have.) Anyway, we don’t have any really weird family members who show up in a polyester suit with a white belt and white shoes or their PJ’s. No really obnoxious uncle or cousin, who talks really loud, tells really inappropriate jokes in front of children and gets super sloppy drunk and pees his pants.

See? We’re just regular everyday people who get together and hang out around the pool or in the house and shoot the breeze. We have a few beers or other adult beverages and then chow down on some BBQ ribs, beans, slaw, corn on the cob, mystery meat, funky salads, potato casseroles and of course desserts. Yummy desserts!

Most everyone is this family is so laid back and unassuming that things like this don’t result in any great stories to tell. Nobody pries into anyone’s private life. There’s not any (or much) gossipin’ going on. No (or not much) judging. No interventions. We’re all just so boring.

I see so many blog posts and status updates from people about family drama and excitement that happens at their get-togethers and I’m always just amazed. Hell, I even envy some of those people because they have something fun and interesting to tell everyone about.

Anyway, it was a nice and pleasant day and it was great seeing everyone. Ho-Hum.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS