What IWS Fans Are Saying

Friday, December 7, 2012

The NFL Might Drop Kickoffs


Hola y’all! The NFL is apparently looking at ways to phase out kickoffs. They want to do this because of all the very serious injuries that keep happening on the special teams units who cover and return kicks. The proposals right now are some combination of having each team start a new possession after the other team scores at their own 25 yard line. Another would give the team that would be the kick return team the ball at their 30 and a fourth-and-fifteen situation. They could either punt or go for it.

Well, the sports team here at IWS World Media decided we would come up with a few ideas to replace kickoffs too. Hopefully the NFL will give these very clever and exciting ideas a fair chance to be voted on by the Competition Committee.

- Put the ball on 50 yard line. Blindfold the kicker. Spin him around 5 times and then he kicks the ball. Wherever it lands is where the team starts their drive from.

- Have the ladies of the Lingerie Football League do the kicking and returns instead of the big, mean, fragile football players.

- Hold a kicking competition at local grade schools during the week and let the winner kickoff from the 50 and wherever he or she kicks it to is where the other team gets it.

- Have the punter punt the ball from his team’s own 35, but turn the football into a lawn dart. Wherever the ball sticks is where the other team starts from.

- Have the offensive team caption from the “return” team and the defensive team captain from the “kicking” team meat at midfield and draw cards. If the return team wins they get the ball at their own 30, but if they lose they get it at their own 10.

- Write the numbers 5 through 50 on small pieces of paper and put them all in a hat with the logo of an official NFL sponsor on it. Then have a “celebrity” like the Octomom draw before the kickoff. Whatever number she draws is where they start from.

- Fill special teams rosters filled with midgets for all kickoffs.

- Fill special teams rosters with the winners of the local Ultimate Frisbee Team.

- After a team scores, just flip a coin. The “kicking” team gets to call it. If they win, other team gets the ball at 5. If they lose, other team gets it at the 30.

- Just change the game to the National Flag Football League.


As you can see the NFL has lots and lots of options. Another that I didn’t mention would be to shut down the league completely. And honestly, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

3 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

I like the lawn dart idea, in fact, they should replace the football with a lawn dart for the entire game. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt

Mike said...

I've got an original set of lawn darts if you're interested in dangerous party games.

Jo said...

I love lawn darts...if you throw them just-so, they can stick to a person's shin bone. And if the person is drunk, they'll laugh really hard instead of screaming.

Now I'm feeling all nostalgic.