Matt Said Jay Said Negative One Million

Matt grumbles, Jay grumbles, You nod in agreement.

Matt: Yo
Jay: Yo Yo
Matt: What do you want?
Jay: I don’t want a fucking thing.
Matt: Good cause I don’t have anything.
Jay: I know the feeling.
Matt: Word.
Jay: So how’s it going.
Matt: The same.
Jay: Well that sucks.
Matt: Uh-huh … How ‘bout you?
Jay: Same here too.
Matt: Sorry to hear that.
Jay: How’s Schmoop?
Matt: The same.
Jay: Fuck, this is depressing.
Matt: The whole world is depressing!
Jay: Yes it is. And it’s not going to get any better.

Matt: Fuck no it isn’t.
Jay: Not on any level.
Matt: Nope.
Jay: I’m giving up all hope.
Matt: I already beat you to it.
Jay: Of course you did.
Matt: Well, it’s true.
Jay: I know. Hey. Les Miz opened big!
Matt: Fuck those people!
Jay: The actors or the characters?
Matt: Both, but mostly the characters.
Jay: Really? The epic struggle of good vs. evil?
Matt: Evil always wins in the end.
Jay: People living in desperate situations.
Matt: They’re living the high life compared to me.
Jay: I’m a ray of fucking sunshine compared to you.
Matt: And that’s pretty bad cause your committed to pessimism.
Jay: Pessimism is the only thing I’ve never walked away from.
Matt: True dat.

Jay: So what are we talking about Saturday?
Matt: Who cares?
Jay: NOBODY!
Matt: Exactly!
Jay: What’s the point of even doing a show?
Matt: There isn’t one.
Jay: That’s because there’s no point to ANYTHING!
Matt: That’s pretty damn deep brothah!
Jay: Well, we could just do a “Good Riddance 2012” show.
Matt: Hey, I kinda like that.
Jay: We can give 2012 the virtual finger.
Matt: Verbally too.
Jay: Right. And preview 2013
Matt: IT’S GONNA SUCK!
Jay: Well, I know. But this show isn’t.
Matt: Oh hell no it’s not.
Jay: Because we freaking rock!
Matt: We’re here to entertain the masses.
Jay: It’s all about them.
Matt: Damn right.
Jay: Aight! You ready to do this?
Matt: I’m fired up!
Jay: LET’S DO IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

There you go. A couple of eternal pessimists in action! Don’t forget to listen to our “Good Riddance 2012” show on I’m With Stupid on Saturday night at 11 PM ET!!!