Matt jibbers, Jay jabbers, You roll your eyes.
Jay: Wha?
Matt: Oh it’s you.
Jay: Who did you think it was?
Matt: Eh, it’s a long story.
Jay: One you haven’t made up yet?
Matt: I’m working on it.
Jay: How’s Schmoop?
Matt: I’m not answering that until you ask how I am.
Jay: I refuse.
Matt: Fine we’ll just sit here until you give in.
Jay: Okay.
Matt: Okay.
Jay: I’m calling through Google so it’s free.
Matt: Shit.
Jay: I’ll compromise a little.
Matt: Okay.
Jay: How are Schmoop and Matt?
Matt: Make that Matt and Schmoop and I’ll answer.
Jay: No
Matt: Oh okay.
Jay: Well?
Matt: Oh! Well … I’M great and Schmoop is tired but good.
Jay: That’s good to hear.
Matt: Ha! I won. I told you how I was first!
Jay: Very mature.
Matt: I’m a winner!
Matt: Hey, you know my schedule is going to change again pretty soon.
Jay: Yeah, I know. Stupid winter hours.
Matt: I’ll be working seven days a week.
Jay: Slacker.
Matt: I know. It’s just the way I am.
Jay: And you won’t know your schedule until the last minute before the change.
Matt: We don’t do that advance planning crap in these parts.
Jay: You just wait until the winds tell you to change the hours.
Matt: Well, kind of actually. The longer it stays mild, the longer we stay open late.
Jay: That’s just not a solid enough schedule for me.
Matt: Gotta learn to be flexible.
Jay: Whatever. We’ll do the show at 7 am if we have to.
Matt: Damn right! Or midnight.
Jay: Yeah, we tried that.
Matt: Oh yeah, that didn’t work out well.
Jay: It’s not easy to be coherent at midnight.
Matt: Well, it’s harder than usual at least.
Jay: Ha! Yeah, that too.
Matt: Yeah, people like advice and they need holiday season advice the most.
Jay: Things like “How to deal with your family.”
Matt: Drink
Jay: And how to deal with co-workers at holiday parties
Matt: Drink
Jay: How to deal with holiday depression
Matt: Drink and eat
Jay: You’re good at this.
Matt: I’m a wise and learned man.
Jay: Is that contagious?
Matt: Well, in a way.
Jay: Is it dangerous?
Matt: To some people, yes.
Jay: Okay, Advice for the Holidays then?
Matt: It’ll be very educational.
Jay: And I can use that pic of the Victoria’s Secret model in the Native American Headdress that so many people are pissed off about!
Matt: Hell yes! If someone is offended by it, we should use it.
Jay: It’s what we do.
Matt: Damn right! Hold on I have another for you.
Jay: Okay
Matt: It’s one of my favorite pics of Jesus.
Jay: A cell phone pic?
Matt: No, Polaroid. Use it for the show.
Jay: Okie dokie dude! We’re ready!
Matt: That we are! Goodnight and God Bless.
Damn, those guys are awesome, aren’t they? Anyway, be sure to tune into I’m With Stupid’s “Advice for the Holidays” Sunday November 18, 2012 at 12 Noon ET! It’ll be fun and exciting. Probably.
3 comments:
We are too good for our own good. I don't know what I meant by that, but it sounded good. Good!!
Matt-Man
The midnight show was good. Every one was 'warmed up'.
Some friend you are, Jay. You SHOULD ask how Matt is first! Always.
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