Laying Down the Law: A Jaymanifesto

Holaaaaaaaaaa! As you may recall a couple of weeks ago before we took a little blog-cation, Matt-Man posted a Mattifesto. Well, you knew that meant that at some point I would have to do my own manifesto because I can’t just let Matt be the only one where with one of those, right? So anyway, here’s a Jaymanifesto…

It’s up to YOU to raise YOUR kids: Funny how so many people are so dismissive of Hillary Clinton’s “It Takes a Village” until they’re demanding that village never do anything to force them to talk to their kids. “I shouldn’t have to explain two guys kissing to my kids!” lots of people screamed after Michael Sam kissed his pretty boy boyfriend. Well actually, you do have to do that. Who else will? You can’t hide the real world form your kids nor can you ask everyone to act and speak in your preferred manner just so you can avoid your duty as parents. Don’t tell me to “think of the (or your) children” when it comes to what I post on social media or say on IWS Radio.

Things like loyalty and support are two-way streets: A lot of people send me messages requesting that I share something they’ve written or created or whatever online. I’m more than happy to do that. I often times stumble, tweet, share or even Reddit blog posts, audios or videos I think are really good. I do so because I like it or them and want them to get clicks and readers and listeners. But, people who ask others to do these things for them yet never return the favor are pretty shitty people. I’ve had enough of them.

Just because it's insensitive doesn't mean it's personal: Another one I’ve run into a few times and some of you who have known me for a while should know better. I make a joke about men or women or gays or lesbians or kids or old people or drug addicts or alcoholics or politicians or political parties or WHATEVER and I get a message from someone who thinks it was aimed at them. Stop it. Not everything is about you and I was just saying whatever came to mind and it wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular. Self-centered much?

You can’t be offended on behalf of other people: Okay, so this one is mostly aimed at white people, but others get into the act. Remember the Richard Sherman “incident” when he was interviewed by that hussy Erin Andrews? Did you see all the middle-aged white simps who hopped on their trusty steeds and rode to her defense? Stop doing that shit y’all. You think you’re standing up for someone, but in reality you’re telling us you don’t think that person or group are capable of defending themselves you condescending assholes.

Punch up, not down: What makes bullies so pathetic is that they almost always pick on people who can’t fight back. If someone does, the bully backs down and goes running home to mommy. If the only target you ever go after is the downtrodden, weak and powerless then you’re just a piece of shit. Even in comedy where I generally say nothing is off limits, if you’re a Dennis Miller type who never, ever takes a shot at the rich and powerful then fuck you.  

Your partisan political positions aren’t “beliefs”: There are a lot of conservatives and liberals out there who are true believers. I’m cool with them. They’re wrong, but that’s okay as long as they stay true believers and don’t change their positions on issues to fit the political party they generally support. Others are just democrats or republicans and they wait to find out what to think about each issue and follow their party’s lead. These people all pretty much suck. Think for yourselves y’all.  

Eh, there’s probably more, but we can’t let these things get too long on the blog. Maybe I’ll do a part two and part three and whatever in the future. We’ll see.

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