Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A Message to Recent Graduates

Holaaaaaaaa! I thought maybe I should take some time out of my busy schedule and give some advice to the recent graduates.  And, since I'm no P. Diddy and I wasn't given an honorary doctorate or invited to speak at any graduation ceremonies, I guess I will have to do it here.


To the high school graduates...

- Most of you have now turned 18. Except for the football players who were held back when they were six so they could win a Pee-Wee Football Championship, who are now 19.  This means that you can now buy cigarettes and porn.  Congratulations!  That's pretty much the only significant thing you have going on right now.

- Well except for you 18 year old boys with 17 year old girlfriends.  You can now be prosecuted for SEX CRIMES and be branded a Sexual Offender for the rest of your life by a holier-than-thou District Attorney and local judge.  Both of whom are too busy running for higher office to be concerned with the fair and equal administration of justice.  So, good luck with that.

- Most you will be going on to college next year.  Of those who do, only about half will graduate.

- Those that don't go on to college will be competing for the same few jobs that are available against both the college drop outs and recent graduates.  Hope that works out okay for ya.

- And for the girls who have already had a kid?  Umm .. I dunno.  I guess you can start a Mommy Blog and pretend that you invented motherhood and act as if no other kid has ever done all the cute little things that your kid does every day. 


Ok so here's my real advice to you recent high school and/or college grads…


- Don't pass up opportunities because you think they'll always be there. They won't.

- Do NOT feel pressured to conform to societal "norms."  You don't HAVE to go to college.  You don't HAVE to get married by a certain age.  You don't HAVE to have kids.  You don't HAVE to live your life according to other people's expectations and wants. And NEVER do something like having kids to make others happy.

- Start your retirement planning the minute you join the workforce. Start an IRA or 401K as soon as possible and NEVER let up on it.

- Live below your means.   Don't buy the maximum amount of house that you can afford. Go a little lower than that and save the rest.  Same goes for "toys" like cars, boats and "stuff."

- Be humble.  It's amazing how far showing manners and respect towards others will get you in life.

- Seek diversity in your life.  Seek out people from different backgrounds and different cultures.

- "Think Globally, Act Locally."  Okay, it's a cliché, but it's true.  That $10 you gave to the relief effort in Haiti was nice and it made you feel good.  But, spending a few weekends a year helping to build Habitat for Humanity homes in your town will have 10 times the impact that your $10 to Haiti did.  In your local area there are food pantries, homeless shelters, abused women & children shelters, youth centers, senior centers and many other places and organizations that need your help.

- Be kind to animals, children and elderly people.

- Read and travel.  They both expand the mind and expose you to new ideas, people and places.

- Don't follow one political party or ideology 100% of the time.  Political parties exist to get people elected. They don’t give a shit about the people they supposedly serve.

- Don't be afraid of change and advancements in technology.  Instead use them to expand opportunities for both work and fun.

- Don’t be judgmental of others.  Everyone is just trying to get through life and live their lives to the fullest.  So maybe some people don’t live their life the way you do.  Not your problem.  Live and let live people.

- Take care of the environment.  Don’t throw trash on the side of the road or in the waterways and crap like that.

- Enjoy life.  Take advantage of all the fun it has to offer.  Watch great movies.  Attend great sporting events.  Take in scenic views.  Sit back and laugh with friends and family rather than rushing through and missing out on the fun stuff.  




Okay, so that’s my brilliant advice.  Follow it.  Don’t follow it.  Whatever.  It’s your life after all.



5 comments:

jAMiE said...

Excellent advice, Jay...where were you when I was that age. Oh boy...i got it all wrong.

I'm With Stupid said...

Very nice Jayman, and may I add one other thing. If you are going to smoke, smoke light cigarettes. Cheers!!

Matt

I'm With Stupid said...

Jamie: Ha! I wish I had followed my own advice. When I graduated it was all bullshit about being the best YOU, you can be and never giving up and reaching for the stars and shit.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt: Excellent advice!

Jay

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