Holaaaaaaaaaaaa! We’re back! I know you missed us! What
better way to ease back into the day-to-day grind of blogging than to do some Funny(ish)
Onion-Like (not really) Headlines!
“Congressman indicted on federal criminal charges. Legal
problems not expected to affect his re-election chances.”
“People shocked and appalled to find that an NBA owner who was
exposed as a raging racist at least 30 years ago says something racist.”
“Vatican holds “make one guy a saint, make another free”
sale.”
“From Genghis Khan to Napoleon to Francisco Franco to
Vladimir Putin: A History of Short Assholes Screwing the World Up.”
“Avril Lavigne Flying High After Success of New Song ‘Hello
Kitty’ off Her Latest CD, ‘Wet’s Get Cwazy!’”
“Area man with large penis wonders if social media will help
him ‘get the word out.’”
“Fast Food and Snack Production Companies Prepare to Gear Up
for Large Scale Marijuana Legalization.”
“Blogger Wonders How She Can Use Click Bait While
Maintaining Her ‘I Write Only For Myself’ Integrity.”
“Ben Affleck: ‘I’m Going to Keep Acting in Movies and
There’s Nothing You Can Do to Stop Me.’”
“Obama: ‘Did I Promise Net Neutrality? Oh Well, Sorry I’m
Not Sorry.’”
“Area Republican Who Supported Cliven Bundy Offended That
People Think He Supports Cliven Bundy.”
“Daniel Snyder on Donald Sterling: ‘Now THAT’S a Racist!’”
“High School Boy Apologizes to His Family in Advance for His
Upcoming Career as a Ventriloquist.”
“Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Inquire About Adopting Lupita
Nyong’o.”
“Area Man Apologizes to Other Men for Participating in
‘Meatless Mondays.’”
“Actress Shailene ‘Boner Killer’ Woodley Says She Likes to ‘Dance
Around with Hairy Armpits.’”
“Illegal Aliens Relived to Discover They’re Exempt From
Obamacare.”
“Nancy Grace Struggling to Find Things to Talk About on Her
Show Blames Lack of Missing White Women.”
“Very Lonely, Average-Looking Woman Convinced Every Man She
Meets Wants Her.”
“Doctors Declare Miley Cyrus’ Tongue Cured. Release Her From
Hospital.”
“Legendary Playboy George Clooney Gets Engaged! ‘I’m Getting
Old and Have Nothing Left to Live For Anyway’ Says Clooney.”
Aaaaaaaaaaaand that’s enough.
6 comments:
Meatless Mondays? Really? What a Mary. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt
You're a clever man, Jay...so very clever!
Net neutrality and the TPP, destroying the Obama legacy.
Matt-Man: It's all part of a balanced healthy lifestyle.
Jay
Jamie: Sometimes, I'm TOO clever. haha
Jay
Mike: Those two things plus not caring so much about unemployment and drones and other things.
Jay
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