Comedy Tips From Dennis Miller, Asshole

Cha Cha and a Ciceroan-type “Bonum Mane” to all of you fatuous and quixotic perusers of the Rosetta
Stone of satirical websites that is IWS Radio.

Dennis Miller here with some comedy and joke-telling tips for all of you should you heed Jayman’s clarion call from yesterday to participate in the 3rd Annual IWS Radio Joke Show which will air LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 P.M. ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Why am I, Dennis Miller, star of TV, Radio, and oft times acerbically jocular comic relief to Bill “The Castor to my Pollux” O’Reilly, offering tips to those of you who may be neophytes in the realm of cracking wise?

Because…

When one wants want to find out how to discover Cesium, one goes to Robert Bunsen or Gustav Kirchhof.

If a person would like to know how to successfully force Israelites to commit mass suicide, one would dialogue with Lucius Flavius Silva.  However…

If a potential humorite would like to be funny and find out how to cast a well baited hook of a joke on to the seas of social media, they need to, and currently are, communicating with me, Dennis Miller, and I, Dennis Miller…

Am the funniest man to walk this big, blue, oblique spheroid since Edward of March, who in 1461 after the Battle of Towton said to the disembodied head of John Clifford, the 9th Baron of Clifford…

“Roses?  We’ve been fighting over Roses?" 

Cha Cha and Bada Bing, Baby!!

If you have been able to glean a trend in my aforementioned essay, you can see that one key to being funny is to use and dare I say (mouthwash please), use liberally…obscure and arcane historical references when making a joke along with words that only turgid Ivy League professors and society’s more cultured idiot savants use.

People love that type of thing and will love you for it.

When I make a joke that includes words such as, moribund, truncated, and phalanx accompanied, with a reference to people such as Madame Curie, The Borgia Sisters, and/or Zarathustra, the audience laughs effusively, because they don’t want the person next to them to know that they have no clue as to what I am talking about!!

And the joke is…The person next to them has no clue either…nor do I!!  Cha Cha Baby!!

Ha…The joke is on you, and this Sunday, if you follow my advice, you can put the joke on Jayman and Matt-Man by calling into their show and sharing your favorite jokes.

Here’s an example…

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss are the only two people to lose more money and franchising power than John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, who said unto his chef in 1738 when the chef served him a meal consisting of pepperoni, ham, cheese, sauce, and banana peppers between two pieces of French bread, and the Earl said...

“This is a submarine!!  Submarines have yet to be invented!!”

Cha Cha!!

See what I mean?

So there ya go; you can see why I am on with Bill O’Reilly.  I’m not only profound; I’m a pundit as well.  You could call me…

A Profundit!!

Cha Cha,

Dennis Miller

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS