Monday, April 22, 2013

Keith Olbermann Says Shame on the Pulitzer Committee

Keith Olbermann here offering an hola, cheers, greetings and salutations and a harty hail and salute to the thousands of people all over the world who read the IWS Blog. While I join the rest of America, and the world, in offering my deepest and most sincere condolences to the good people of Boston and West, Texas, I feel the need to come here today to speak out about another, equally appalling outrage.

As you may know, a couple weeks ago we learned of the 2013 recipients of the Pulitzer Prizes. No, I’m not here to complain about the failure of the committee to award me the Pulitzer for National Reporting, International Reporting, Breaking News Reporting, Investigative Reporting, Commentary or Criticism, although I most certainly deserved to win in any or ALL of those categories. I’m here today to stand up for IWS’ Poet Laureate Paul Piatt.

I was shocked and dismayed to hear that Mr. Piatt was once again overlooked. I understand the
committee’s jealousy and envy of my great accomplishments keeping them from rewarding me as I so richly deserve, but why do they treat Mr. Piatt this way? I also know that both Matt-Man and Jayman are equally as angry as I, but I’m sure they and everyone would agree that I am a much more forceful and articulate voice for Paul.

Given the illustrious career Mr. Piatt has had in the world of Poetry, one has to wonder if the Pulitzer Committee has spent most of their time wandering through the book section of their local Walmart. How could they possibly have overlooked Paul Piatt yet again? The lack of competence shown by the Pulitzer Committee is so shocking, so disheartening that I have no other choice but to DEMAND that they RESIGN IMMEDIATELY!

Have you no shame people? Do you not have any sense of decency or understanding of literary greatness at all? Here sits Mr. Paul Piatt, a good, decent man who has never asked for anything in his life. He has never called attention to himself or tooted his own horn. He has done nothing but try to bring the love words made magical to the masses. The committee could have shown the world that Poetry isn’t about elitism or about popularity, but about the words themselves. They could have reminded us that Poetry doesn’t have to be snooty and full of anger and angst.

Instead the committee decided to lower itself to the very bottom of the literary barrel and award Sharon Olds the Pulitzer for “Stag’sLeap.” Just when you thought culture could not go any lower, you are proven wrong as a poetry book about a woman’s divorce is the big winner. That’s right kids something that is better suited for Oprah’s Couch than it is our bookshelves has been elevated to the highest levels of the Poetry World. My anger and disappointment is such that I cannot put it into words. Luckily for me, my talented friend, Mr. Nispsey Russell can…

“Once again Paul Piatt was over looked
If you ask me those votes were cooked
So here’s my message to the Pulitzer Brass
The committee can kiss my fat ass”

Simple, crude, from the heart, Nipsey speaks for all of us on this day of shock and OH NO THEY DIDN’T! I, along with the entire team at IWS World Media expect the Pulitzer’s Committee response and attempt to right this unconscionable wrong with, at the very least, a very sincere apology to both myself and Mr. Piatt and a promise to reform their selection process and then ….. RESIGN IMMEDIATELY!

For IWS this has been Keith Olbermann.

In other news, Sunday was another EPIC episode of I'm With Stupid. We talked about the Boston Marathon Bombing and the terrible cable news channels. Then we previewed the NFL Draft by drafting our favorite Monarchs, Jews, Sportscasters, Poets and soooooo much more! 

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I'm With Stupid said...

My heart was moved upon reading this. While my lack of ego restrains me from voicing words more than sotto voce on my own behalf, a thousand pulses or personal appreciation toward Mr. Olbermann.

--Paul Piatt

Mike said...

Olbermann? I thought it was Obermann. This changes everything.