Wednesday, February 6, 2013

I Don't Fucking Think So with Hank Philpot

Hello.  Hank Philpot here.  I’m a friend of Matt-Man.  I was going off on some things the other day to him and he said I could write down my bitches about the world today on this blog thing.

He told me that today, I could consider the IWS blog to be my, tablet razor or something like that.  I don’t know what he meant by that, but here I am….Hank Philpot.

I guess there is a big outrage over the Super Bowl.  Seems some folks have their panties in a wad because TV microphones picked up Joe Flacco saying, “Fucking Awesome!!” right after they won the SuperBowl the other night.  So what?

I’m not a Joe Flacco fan, but the dumb dago just won the damn NFL Championship.  What’s he supposed to say?  “This is a pleasant experience?”

I don’t fucking think so.

He won the Goddamn Super Bowl for Chrissakes, and lemme tell ya…If that dumb dago had said that winning the Super Bowl was, “a pleasant experience”, I would have forever and into the future or whatever, referred to him as, Joe Faggo.

Another thing.  I see that every time a teacher or a classmate of any elementary school, high school, or even higher schools dies, they bring in “grief counselors” for today's squishy, soft, chicken pot pie pupils.  What the hell is up with that?  People die every damn day.

I remember my Junior year of high school when the entire head of our shop teacher, Mr. Durwood Whitt, literally exploded right before our eyes due to an aneurysm.  Did the school bring in grief counselors for us?

I don’t fucking think so.

They brought in the head janitor, Roy Jenks.  And us and ol’ Roy scrubbed the shop room down together. We didn't see it as a tragedy.  We saw it as an event that taught us how to safely and efficiently remove blood and brain tissue from a drill press and a table saw.

I read today that that soft-handed, “friend of the working man” Ed Schultz said, with a scour, that Republicans want immigration reform, but don’t want them to have voting rights during their legal consideration status.  Yeah, so what Ed?  Is that a bad thing?

I don’t fucking think so!!

Foreign workers with a VISA or MasterCard, and tourists with passports are also here under a legal status.  Does that mean you want candy-assed Europeans who visit Palm Beach to be able to vote? Do we want Nazi Nate, Bok Choy Charlie, and Quesadilla Quintana to be able to have their voices heard as to who runs these God-Fearing United States of America?

I don’t fucking think so!!

Lastly.  I read yesterday’s post from Jayman…What the fuck?  He spoke of being in the barber chair while some gal-barber cut his hair all the while listening to some ex-meth head gal with an addicted father who became clean and had a sex change, speak her mind. What the hell is that?

Much to his credit, Jayman remained calm and carried on.  Would I have done the same in his situation?

I don’t fucking think so!!

I would have said…

“I’m sorry that you are a post-strung out meth whore, and you father is some sort of queer, but could you please shut your yap long enough for this working gal to finish trimming my noggin without cutting off my Goddamn ear?”

I thank you for your time, and maybe I’ll do this again, but…

I don’t fucking think so.

Hank Philpot

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

10 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

I bet hank is all kinds of fun at parties. He's Mr. Fucking Sunshine.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: As long as there is plenty of cold beer, a hog on the spit, and women who respect a man, he is good at parties. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

Flacco was advertising for a .com porn site when he uttered those words. Sort of like the I'm going to Disneyland line.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: And so be it...Just a boy with a dream, trying to make a dime. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man

Beth said...

Ha!! Poor old Mr. Whitt:)

I'm With Stupid said...

Schmoop: Ha!! IKR!? Cheers Baby!!

Matt-Man

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