Friday, January 25, 2013

Wine Makes the Winter Go Quickly

Cheers and a cordial Friday to you all.  Matt-Man here.

A Matt-Man who is feeling, shall we say, slightly moderated and oh, I don’t know, rustic, in the sense of sharp cheese, crusty bread, washed back with a good wine kind of way.

Yes indeed, my friends.  I do get to feeling this way at this time of year…The time of year when the January winds blow cold and raw, ushering in nothing but snow…and ice…and of course, the gray, low hanging skies of despair.

This is the time of year when the light of the sun is turned way down low, and the howling winds along with the banshee cries of crows foraging for parking lot French Fries thrown asunder by Wal*Mart shoppers, de-harmonize into a cacophony of every awful 70’s porn sound track ever made.

And as the low winter sky dims, and the discordant symphony echoes through every forest, glen, and valley, Mother Nature and Old Man Winter get their groove on above us.

As their sick and surreal bodies writhe in pleasure during their frigid and frozen lovemaking, we, against our collective will, become the recipients and caretakers of their offspring.

The winter twins known as, Heartache and Sorrow.

But my friends, do not allow your timbers to be shivered, for there is hope.  There is a panacea that helps to preempt the evil duo’s procreation and prevent the prodigy of the pernicious winter pair from visiting your parlor.

I discovered it years ago during the, I Lost My Big Toe Due to Hypothermia Winter of Aught Three. It is called…Wine.

I know.  I know.  Matt-Man is a big beer drinker you say in disbelief, but c’mon, as you know, I also enjoy my share of Wild Irish Rose.

I know. I know. You reply once more, “But that’s not really wine. That’s a death sentence.”  Please…it is more than wine; it’s a life giving force.  However…

If you’re not into the, in your face force of Wild Irish Rose, you can always drink a wine called Flowerface in order to get you through the doldrums of winter.

I have tried it and I love it; although for me, it does have one drawback…It has an actual cork.  As more of connoisseur of twist off wines, I was at first hesitant, but…

I fear the cork no longer, and will drink it again and again especially in the winter, and why is that, you ask?

In addition to the well-noticed, but not overpowering taste, it is perhaps the most aromatic wine I have ever had.  The aroma is prefect for winter drinking, because once you open the bottle, it smells like spring.

When I opened a bottle of Flowerface the other night and the aroma embraced my nose, I was envisioning dancing naked ‘neath a warm and life-giving vernal rain shower, as flowers budded and burgeoned around me, and my neighbor screamed, “Why are you dancing naked in my garden?  I’m calling the police!!”

And while the dancing naked in a neighbor’s garden may be a bit of poetic license on my part, the smell of the Flowerface wine that I experienced, is not.  It is very good.

So there you have it.  Matt-Man being helpful as always, and helping you to get through the doldrums of winter with my ultimate word of advice…

Drink more wine, and if you’d like to drink a bottle of what Spring feels like, contact MCM Imports and they can hook you up on where to get some Flowerface, and their other fine wines.

Of course, as I am also true to my love of the Bagwine that is Wild Irish Rose…Here’s an old video of Jayman, for the first time, drinking a bottle of WIR that I had sent him:

                           
Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

8 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

I love wine. Wine loves me.

Red wines really warm me up, but I generally prefer white wines. Also, the blush wines. And all the other wines too.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: I know you do, and I have always thought of you as Arkansas' foremost oenophile. Love the grape, and Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

Nothing like a bottle of WIR sitting next to you while at the computer. I'll treasure it forever.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Ha. I am glad. It's always a pleasure to share the beauty of Rose with friends. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man

Anonymous said...

I too love Flowerface wine. My only complaint is that they use a cork. I request they attach a nipple. Until then, I will have to use a glass...

I'm With Stupid said...

Sherrie: Exactly!! Sometimes I am in need of a drink RIGHT NOW, and that cork slows me down. Cheers Sherri!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

Flowerfaces, nude gardening, and nipples? It's like I've stumbled into a 70's douche commercial.

Matt, you're an impressive alliterationerist. I wasn't sure how to end that word so I just slapped some things on it.

I love the vid! Jay should do a whole series of vlogs where he tests products.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: I have always found alliteration to be absolutely alluring. Cheers Jo!!

Matt-Man