Saturday, January 26, 2013

Matt Said, Jay Said 777.777


Matt confabulates, Jay confabulates, You hang on every word.

Matt: If the phone rings I have to take the call.
Jay: How can the phone ring if you’re on the phone?
Matt: It doesn’t “RING” but it beeps
Jay: So, if the phone beeps you need to take the call?
Matt: Yes.
Jay: What will the “beep” sound like?
Matt: Well, I can’t really describe it.
Jay: Then how will you know when it happens.
Matt: Cause it’s the only “BEEP” I’ll hear.
Jay: You sure?
Matt: Well, I’ve been dealing with phones for a long time so, yes.
Jay: If you say so.
Matt: Well, I do.
Jay: I guess those old fashioned phones work that way.
Matt: Yeah, I guess they do.
Jay: Can you personalize beeps for different people who call?
Matt: I’m pretty sure you can’t.
Jay: That’s too bad.
Matt: Yeah, I’m devastated.
Jay: I'm detecting some sarcasm there
Matt: I don't know why.

Jay: So who will the caller be?
Matt: I can’t tell you?
Jay: Why not?
Matt: Well it may not work out.
Jay: What may not work out?
Matt: What I’m working on … Oh wait! It involves you!
Jay: I think you can probably tell me then.
Matt: Of course! I’m waiting on _____ to call.
Jay: Right! She’s calling about _________.
Matt: Hell yes!
Jay: If that works we can _________.
Matt: That would be so exciting!
Jay: I’m excited right now in fact.
Matt: You sick fuck.
Jay: What?
Matt: I don’t need to know about your excited state.
Jay: You dream about my excited state.
Matt: Maybe occasionally.
Jay: So when will we be able to tell everyone the big news?
Matt: It’s gonna be a while. Might take some time still.
Jay: We’ll tease them then.
Matt: That’s hot.

Matt: I followed the Pope on Twitter.
Jay: I tried to get him to ReTweet our Human Trafficking Awareness show.
Matt: Did he do it?
Jay: No
Matt: Nazi bastard.
Jay: I guess he supports slavery and sex slaves and all that.
Matt: There’s no other conclusion to make.
Jay: Exactly!
Matt: So … This week’s show?
Jay: We need to do a positive show.
Matt: We’re very positive guys.
Jay: Damn right we are.
Matt: Well, we can talk about the positive side of the internet and social media.
Jay: Sweet!
Matt: All the good people we’ve met.
Jay: The funny people!
Matt: The talented people!
Jay: The HAWT peole!
Matt: Awww yeah!
Jay: We can also talk about internet friends being REAL friends
Matt: I hate people who claim internet people are fake.
Jay: Me too.
Matt: They’re scared of the internet.
Jay: They think it’s the Devil’s Playground.
Matt: Yes they do.
Jay: Okay I guess we’re …
Matt: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Jay: Damn, there really was a beep.

So, don’t forget to join us for “Internet Love and Friendship” on I’m With Stupid Saturday at 11 PM ET!!


7 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

That's some funny shit right there, boy.

Matt-Man

Jo said...

I was just talking about how badly people suck at being people, and now you're having The Optimistic Fantasy Show. A pox upon you.

Call waiting ruined all the fun I had making "emergency breakthroughs".

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: We're pretty funny guys. Sometimes.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: I just commented on that post. You're a week behind us. Next week you'll be all sunshine, rainbows and lollipops.

Jay

Gnetch said...

Internet people are real people but better because you can talk to them without really talking to them.

Jo said...

But that was already me being sunshine rainbow and lollipops! I hope my kids let me catch your show tonight, they've been doing this Linda Blair thing at bedtime.

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