Hola voters! As you know on Monday of this week I sat down for a very special, in depth interview with President Obama. Because we are always fair and balanced here at IWS, we offered GOP nominee Governor Mitt Romney the same opportunity. Luckily we are part of the 53% of interview requests he agrees to.
Jay: Governor Romney, let’s get right to it. A few days ago pres…
Mitt: I’m sorry to interrupt but, are you sure this neighborhood is safe. I’m pretty sure I saw a young colored man while walking to your apartment.
Jay: Oh don’t worry. It’s perfectly safe. Besides, it’s daytime. Aaaand the secret service guys are outside.
Mitt: Okay then.
Jay: The other day President Obama sat in that same chair and basically said that the majority of the economic problems are George W. Bush’s fault. Do you agree with that assessment?
Matt: Of course not! That’s just plain crazy. President Obama inherited an economy that had strong fundamentals and turning things around should have been easy and straight forward. He should be creating 600,000 jobs a month without even breaking a sweat.
Jay: 600,000? That’s a big number!
Mitt: Well, look at what a great job President Bush did overall. He inherited an economy that had just suffered the shock of 9/11 under Clinton. He picked up all the pieces and put it all back together. The only thing that he wasn’t able to do was lift the huge burden of regulation from Wall Street in time to avoid a downturn there at the end of his presidency. That of course was because he had a democratic congress to deal with.
Jay: Uh … Okay. Anyway, we’ll move on. Governor, you have made the claim that you will balance the budget without any real pain or sacrifice on the part of the American people. How are you going to do that?
Mitt: Well, that’s not exactly what I’ve promised. I have said that I’m going to bring austerity to poor and working class and even some middle class Americans who, quite frankly, have it a bit too good right now. These people are going to have to finally pay their fair share.
Jay: Okay, so how do you balance the budget then?
Mitt: I’m just gonna do what Ronald Reagan did. I’m going to cut taxes, restore the military to its previous greatness and bring the economy back to ITS greatness and the budget will be balance purely through economic growth and the creation of millions and millions of new jobs.
Jay: But, you can’t do that without some spending cuts, right? What would you cut?
Mitt: We’re gonna cut funding for Planned Parenthood, the National Endowment for the Arts and start running commercials on PBS. That should be enough.
Jay: Riiiiiight. Okay, let’s try foreign policy. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave a powerful speech at the U.N. today. You have been very critical of Obama’s handling of Iran and what you believe to be his lack of support for Israel. How would things be different in a Romney administration?
Mitt: My relationship with Israel is so good that the people of Israel and American Jews are starting to call me Mittanyahu! Hey-OOOOOOO! Heh. Anyway, I understand that since Obama is a Muslim he is naturally unfriendly to Israel, but I think he just needs to face reality.
Jay: And that reality is?
Mitt: Well, he started a war with the wrong country. He went into Iraq when he should have launched an attack on Iran. Simple.
Jay: *Stares in disbelief* Governor, I think there are few holes in your … um … facts.
Mitt: Nope. I don’t think so. Hey look, I gotta skedaddle. We’ve got the family jet warming up at the Boone County International Airport, so I need to go. Ann and I have reservations at Per Se in New York. We’re having dinner with Donald Trump. Exciting huh!?
Jay: Oh yeah! Lots of fun. Thanks for your time Governor.
Okay, there you go. We’ve got a couple of straight shooters running for president huh? I hope these two interviews this week have helped you make up your mind.
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
Mitt: I’m sorry to interrupt but, are you sure this neighborhood is safe. I’m pretty sure I saw a young colored man while walking to your apartment.
Jay: Oh don’t worry. It’s perfectly safe. Besides, it’s daytime. Aaaand the secret service guys are outside.
Mitt: Okay then.
Jay: The other day President Obama sat in that same chair and basically said that the majority of the economic problems are George W. Bush’s fault. Do you agree with that assessment?
Matt: Of course not! That’s just plain crazy. President Obama inherited an economy that had strong fundamentals and turning things around should have been easy and straight forward. He should be creating 600,000 jobs a month without even breaking a sweat.
Jay: 600,000? That’s a big number!
Mitt: Well, look at what a great job President Bush did overall. He inherited an economy that had just suffered the shock of 9/11 under Clinton. He picked up all the pieces and put it all back together. The only thing that he wasn’t able to do was lift the huge burden of regulation from Wall Street in time to avoid a downturn there at the end of his presidency. That of course was because he had a democratic congress to deal with.
Jay: Uh … Okay. Anyway, we’ll move on. Governor, you have made the claim that you will balance the budget without any real pain or sacrifice on the part of the American people. How are you going to do that?
Mitt: Well, that’s not exactly what I’ve promised. I have said that I’m going to bring austerity to poor and working class and even some middle class Americans who, quite frankly, have it a bit too good right now. These people are going to have to finally pay their fair share.
Jay: Okay, so how do you balance the budget then?
Mitt: I’m just gonna do what Ronald Reagan did. I’m going to cut taxes, restore the military to its previous greatness and bring the economy back to ITS greatness and the budget will be balance purely through economic growth and the creation of millions and millions of new jobs.
Jay: But, you can’t do that without some spending cuts, right? What would you cut?
Mitt: We’re gonna cut funding for Planned Parenthood, the National Endowment for the Arts and start running commercials on PBS. That should be enough.
Jay: Riiiiiight. Okay, let’s try foreign policy. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave a powerful speech at the U.N. today. You have been very critical of Obama’s handling of Iran and what you believe to be his lack of support for Israel. How would things be different in a Romney administration?
Mitt: My relationship with Israel is so good that the people of Israel and American Jews are starting to call me Mittanyahu! Hey-OOOOOOO! Heh. Anyway, I understand that since Obama is a Muslim he is naturally unfriendly to Israel, but I think he just needs to face reality.
Jay: And that reality is?
Mitt: Well, he started a war with the wrong country. He went into Iraq when he should have launched an attack on Iran. Simple.
Jay: *Stares in disbelief* Governor, I think there are few holes in your … um … facts.
Mitt: Nope. I don’t think so. Hey look, I gotta skedaddle. We’ve got the family jet warming up at the Boone County International Airport, so I need to go. Ann and I have reservations at Per Se in New York. We’re having dinner with Donald Trump. Exciting huh!?
Jay: Oh yeah! Lots of fun. Thanks for your time Governor.
Okay, there you go. We’ve got a couple of straight shooters running for president huh? I hope these two interviews this week have helped you make up your mind.
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
4 comments:
I can't believe he didn't say to you...
"I love you Arkansinians. I, and my family, vacation with the Walton and Tyson families often!!" Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
This interview is filled with so many Romney facts that I don't know if can absorb all of them.
Matt-Man: This one 20 minute interview was the most amount of town he's ever spent in Arkansas. He doesn't like to get below the Mason-Dixon line too often.
Jay
Mike: You just have to want to believe them.
Jay
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