Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I AM Everyone's Cup of Tea!!

Cheeeeeeeers Bitches!!

I don’t read a lot of blogs because well, as a famous internet radio star, my time is very limited, but yesterday I saw a link to a blog post pop up on Twitter that was written by none other than IWS’ favorite foil…

Dana Lu.

She wrote about how she wasn’t, “everyone’s cup of tea.”  She didn’t seem to mind that, but I thought the entire post to be sad, because, well…

I AM everyone’s cup of tea.

No, it’s true, and of course, you probably already knew that. I mean, who doesn’t like me?  Amirite?  Uh-huh.

Ohhhhhhh, there are a few doubters out there who don’t believe me, are there?  Let me tell ya…

Now dig it, let’s just start with my name, Matthew.  Do you know what the name Matthew translates to in Hebrew?

“Gift of Fucking God.”

Okay, I added the, “Fucking” for emphasis, but nonetheless, I am a gift…of God.  And if HE thinks of me as a gift to y’all, I must be pretty damn special from the get go.

But seriously…think about it.  Here’s this bald guy (moi), with a beer gut, bad eyesight, and waiting on dentures, running around Bagwine, Ohio like a crazy man driving the men and women wild.  It’s crazy!!

Well, maybe for a lesser man who isn’t everyone’s cup of tea it is.  But for me, even without my yet to come dental implants and oft times abrasive attitude, I am everyone’s Darjeeling, Orange Pekoe, and/or Irish Blend Breakfast Tea.

In fact from now on, I don’t want to be referred to as Matt-Man.  Knowing that I am everyone’s cup of tea, I want to be from here on out, lauded, Lorded, and referred to as, Earl Grey.

Yeah…I think I like that.

My boss at the Beer Mine always tells me…“What the hell is it with you Mahoney?  You’re just so likeable, and I don’t like anyone.”

When I worked as a Union Rep for SEIU, I represented the 600 Adult Parole Authority officers in Ohio.  One very outspoken one, an Italian guy from Youngstown named Sam Mariani who both loved and hated the union one day said to me…

“Y’know?  We had shitty union reps until you came along, and even though you are Irish, I’d take bullet for you Mahoney.”

And you know what just happened folks?  When I typed the Sam Mariani quote, I was going to continue on with some more funny proof as to why I am “everyone’s cup of tea”, but…

When I typed that out, I could not only hear, but I could see Sam and I in the bar when he said that to me, and well, Sam passed away all too young some seven or eight years ago.

So my sarcastic tea rant took a turn for the melancholy, but it’s not really sad, just bittersweet, because…

While I truly know that like Dana, I am not everyone’s cup of tea as it were, I was, at least for a moment in time, special to an Italian Parole Officer in Youngstown, Ohio who was taken from us all too soon.

And to paraphrase an old saying, you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but to one person, you are their cup of tea.

And if you are, or know someone who is to you, drink it up while you can.




I'm With Stupid said...

I think deep down Charlie Daniels and Dennis Miller actually like you too. Joe Scarborough thinks you're an asshole though. But, you can't win over everyone.


I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: Ha...Scarborough is a dick. I mean I like him to a degree, but how can a person like a guy who thinks Mika is sane and or even of this world? Cheers Jayman!!


Beth said...

You're my cup of tea. Um...I think;)

I'm With Stupid said...

Beth: Why thanks, and you're mine...C'mere and taste me. Cheers Schmooooooop!!


Mike said...

'..with a beer gut, bad eyesight, and waiting on dentures..'

I met a guy like that in Ohio at a drive through car wash that sold beer! What are the odds?!

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: IKR? Cheers Mike!!


Dana said...


I'm With Stupid said...

Dana: Hee. Cheers Dana!!