Merhaba and Günaydın to you.
This is Turkish Prime Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan for I’m With Stupid. Why is the Prime Minister of a country of nearly 80 Million people vocabularizing on this medium, you ask?
Well listen as I tell you…One American GOP candidate for President, Rick Perry, says that we are but a Muslim-ruled alarmist and terrorist nation.
When we objected to his words to the U.S. Department of State, we were brushed off by an official statement that read…
“Don’t worry your pretty, little, whirling dervished heads about what Rick Perry says; he’s a fucking moron.”
Frankly and grammatically, I was behooven to put finger to type pad and contact someone…indeed, anyone…who in America would listen to us, and allow me to speak upon behalf of our ecru-colored peoples.
Mr. Perry says that my nation of Turkey should receive no U.S. aid because we are a nation of Islamic terrorists.
Allow me to explain to Mr. Drugstore Cowboy, who in shoe-shined boots, shoots cooped up birds at a ranch probably named in honor of his and his daddy’s dalliances, that we Turks, have for sixty years, been a friend to the West and more importantly, to the United States.
Let me tell you something Perry…Toward the end of World War II we entered on the side of the Allies.
During the Cold War, we told the Soviets to bring it, because we knew they wouldn’t, ‘cause we are Turks.
During the Korean Conflict, we fought along side of you, bled with you, and ate shit-canned WW II rations with you, and we as allies…Turks, Aussies, Brits, and Americans, together gunned down much of the shallow gene pool that was to become Kim Jong Il.
In 1952 we had asked for, and were granted, a membership into NATO. Turkey became the lynchpin and the keystone for keeping the USSR from gaining a iron foothold in the Middle East. And what do we get in return from you, Mr. Perry? That’s right…
Heartache.
I know. I know…You Mr. Perry, like many Americans, have this, balls to the wailing walls feeling for Israel and all of her “vast greatness” as a place of Middle East democracy and God Given benevolence, however…
Many of us in Turkey distrust the State of Israel, what with her illegal capture of some of our Turks recently, and Israel’s attack on the U.S.S. Liberty in 1967; we would rather just simply ignore Israel, all the while seeing Palestine being granted her own state.
And allow me to ask you this, Mr. Perry…If Israel is such a great and glorious democracy , how come America is still spoon-feeding her a couple of billion dollars a year. Should not that foreign aid end as well, if you guys are so strapped?
Oh my goodness gracious, Mr. Perry. You claim, we as Turks are rattling scimitars, and going beyond the pale as we as a country explore our future and examine who we want to be. And, maybe we are changing from the country of Ataturk into something different, however…
We may be changing into a national version of you, and demonstrating exactly what it is that you, if we were a Jewish State, would like and support…
We like you, may want our democracy to someday, become a theocracy, but with one glaring difference.
We are doing it because for many in our nation our faith tells us to, not because that is what the Presidential polls tell us to do.
And Mr. Perry with the South Carolina Primary quickly approaching, and in all of your brief and xenophobic less-than-glory, I utter to you the words that Ataturk said years ago…
“As they have come, so they will go.”
Don’t let the door of obscurity and ignorance hit you on the ass, Rick.
Sincerely,
Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Prime Minister
email: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter: @mattmaniws
This is Turkish Prime Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan for I’m With Stupid. Why is the Prime Minister of a country of nearly 80 Million people vocabularizing on this medium, you ask?
Well listen as I tell you…One American GOP candidate for President, Rick Perry, says that we are but a Muslim-ruled alarmist and terrorist nation.
When we objected to his words to the U.S. Department of State, we were brushed off by an official statement that read…
“Don’t worry your pretty, little, whirling dervished heads about what Rick Perry says; he’s a fucking moron.”
Frankly and grammatically, I was behooven to put finger to type pad and contact someone…indeed, anyone…who in America would listen to us, and allow me to speak upon behalf of our ecru-colored peoples.
Mr. Perry says that my nation of Turkey should receive no U.S. aid because we are a nation of Islamic terrorists.
Allow me to explain to Mr. Drugstore Cowboy, who in shoe-shined boots, shoots cooped up birds at a ranch probably named in honor of his and his daddy’s dalliances, that we Turks, have for sixty years, been a friend to the West and more importantly, to the United States.
Let me tell you something Perry…Toward the end of World War II we entered on the side of the Allies.
During the Cold War, we told the Soviets to bring it, because we knew they wouldn’t, ‘cause we are Turks.
During the Korean Conflict, we fought along side of you, bled with you, and ate shit-canned WW II rations with you, and we as allies…Turks, Aussies, Brits, and Americans, together gunned down much of the shallow gene pool that was to become Kim Jong Il.In 1952 we had asked for, and were granted, a membership into NATO. Turkey became the lynchpin and the keystone for keeping the USSR from gaining a iron foothold in the Middle East. And what do we get in return from you, Mr. Perry? That’s right…
Heartache.
I know. I know…You Mr. Perry, like many Americans, have this, balls to the wailing walls feeling for Israel and all of her “vast greatness” as a place of Middle East democracy and God Given benevolence, however…
Many of us in Turkey distrust the State of Israel, what with her illegal capture of some of our Turks recently, and Israel’s attack on the U.S.S. Liberty in 1967; we would rather just simply ignore Israel, all the while seeing Palestine being granted her own state.
And allow me to ask you this, Mr. Perry…If Israel is such a great and glorious democracy , how come America is still spoon-feeding her a couple of billion dollars a year. Should not that foreign aid end as well, if you guys are so strapped?
Oh my goodness gracious, Mr. Perry. You claim, we as Turks are rattling scimitars, and going beyond the pale as we as a country explore our future and examine who we want to be. And, maybe we are changing from the country of Ataturk into something different, however…
We may be changing into a national version of you, and demonstrating exactly what it is that you, if we were a Jewish State, would like and support…
We like you, may want our democracy to someday, become a theocracy, but with one glaring difference.
We are doing it because for many in our nation our faith tells us to, not because that is what the Presidential polls tell us to do.
And Mr. Perry with the South Carolina Primary quickly approaching, and in all of your brief and xenophobic less-than-glory, I utter to you the words that Ataturk said years ago…
“As they have come, so they will go.”
Don’t let the door of obscurity and ignorance hit you on the ass, Rick.
Sincerely,
Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Prime Minister
email: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter: @mattmaniws
6 comments:
i don't doubt that rick perry does anything less than exceed their expectations, but somehow i don't believe that the prime minister of turkey wrote this :b
Tracer: Quiet your doubts. Here at I'm With Stupid all the big names have written for us. From Andy Rooney to Sarah Palin, to Guy Ahnyurdyck. We being in all the top shelf talent. Cheers Tracer!!
Matt-Man
Now now Recep, have we stopped sending you money? I didn't think so.
Mike: Don't mess with our Turkish Delight, Mike. Just...don't...do it. Cheers Mike!!
Matt-Man
I'm a little offended that Tracer Bullet doubts who actually wrote this. It's not like we're a couple of internet Ya-HOOS just making shit up here.
Also, who does Rick Perry think he is telling the Turks what kind of govt to have? That's nobody's business but the Turks.
Jay
Jayman: Ha..."nobody's business,but the Turks." Clever. I'm still laughing like a 12 year old. And you're right. We may be many things, but Ya-HOOS isn't among those things. We are professionals. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
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