Hola bitches and welcome to the further adventures with my mother’s friend M.E. You remember M.E. from Thanksgiving, right? Well after a year of talking about it M.E. finally decided to get a laptop computer. She hasn’t ever used a computer before in her life. Okay, she did use a computer in a very limited manner back in the early 90’s, but that doesn’t really count.
Oh, and she’s never been on the internet either. Of course, she’s pretty sure she knows all about the net and … it’s the devil. But, she’s ready to take on the devil anyway. She asked me to go with her Walmart to get a laptop and “whatever else I’m going to need.”
Surprisingly enough Walmart wasn’t too difficult. We had a short discussion about whether she needed a desktop or laptop …
M.E: “I’m pretty sure I want a laptop.”
Jay: “They both have their pros and cons.”
M.E: “I think I’ll put it on the desk in the spare bedroom because there’s no TV in there.”
Jay: “So you want a desktop?”
M.E: “No, because I want to use it in the living room and downstairs.”
Jay: “Uh you just said … okay.”
Jay: “They both have their pros and cons.”
M.E: “I think I’ll put it on the desk in the spare bedroom because there’s no TV in there.”
Jay: “So you want a desktop?”
M.E: “No, because I want to use it in the living room and downstairs.”
Jay: “Uh you just said … okay.”
So, we get her an HP laptop, a wireless router, a mouse and she also finds this portable tray that she thinks she’ll put the laptop on. It went smooth, no arguments or strange questions. Then we get back here so I can set her laptop up and show her a few things and get it registered for her. She also called the cable company and they will be out next Thursday to turn on her internet.
I get the thing out of the box and go through the set up process and then I decide to show her the internet. I figured the best place to go to first would be YouTube which leads to this conversation …
Jay: “What is your favorite musical act?”
M.E: “Oh I don’t know.”
Jay: “Do you like Dean Martin?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Sinatra?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Tony Bennett?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Barbara Streisand.”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Willy Nelson.”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Miley Cyrus?”
M.E: “GOD NO!”
Jay: “Hey! That hurts! Rolling Stones?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Huey Lewis and News?”
M.E: “No … I just don’t listen to music at all.”
Jay: “Umm … Okay, puppy vidoes.”
M.E: “Puppy vid? … Ohhhhh they’re so cute!”
Jay: “Internet, M.E. M.E, Internet.”
M.E: “Oh I don’t know.”
Jay: “Do you like Dean Martin?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Sinatra?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Tony Bennett?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Barbara Streisand.”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Willy Nelson.”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Miley Cyrus?”
M.E: “GOD NO!”
Jay: “Hey! That hurts! Rolling Stones?”
M.E: “No.”
Jay: “Huey Lewis and News?”
M.E: “No … I just don’t listen to music at all.”
Jay: “Umm … Okay, puppy vidoes.”
M.E: “Puppy vid? … Ohhhhh they’re so cute!”
Jay: “Internet, M.E. M.E, Internet.”
Then I put some of the games icons on the desktop so she can find them easily and play games to get used to using the mouse and all that shit. As I putt the laptop back in the box so she can take it home and all that and I show her where to plug the mouse back in at and I say “since you’re right handed just plug it in on the left side and run the cord around the back.” She says okay and gathers her stuff and says she’s going to go home and will “practice on the computer.”
About an hour later she calls and says “How come just because I’m right handed that means I HAVE to plug the mouse in on the left side? That doesn’t make any sense to me.” I told her I was just doing what seemed most obvious and easiest to me and she could plug it into any of the plugs it will fit in. She said okay, but was clearly a bit skeptical that I wasn’t trying to set her up for something.
That’s how day one went. God only knows how it’s going to go from here, but I’m pretty sure this is going to get me out of God’s doghouse.
--
In other news, on Saturday Matt-Man interviewed Jayman on I’m With Stupid Podcast. It was light-hearted yet thoughtful and at times deep. We talked about growing up in Arkansas, religion, politics, writing and all kinds of other topics that Matt probed. So, check it out. Matt-Man actually kind of made Jayman sound interesting.
Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio
13 comments:
'...I’m pretty sure...'
This is just starting. Let's see.... this is 2012, right?
I am so sorry Jay, but you are in for the long haul;)
So you're going to Heaven, eh? Enjoy your thin crust sausage and pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and sauce. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
Jay gosh this is nice of you.....I'd change my phone number if I had been you.
Guess I'm going to hell.
So there was no alcohol involved? Dang!
But what you did was actually nice. You are so going to heaven.
Why did she react like that on Miley Cyrus? So rude!
Mike: This might be what the Mayans were talking about.
Jay
Beth: Unless she dies mysteriously this spring.
Jay
Matt: I'm looking forward to it!
Jay
Margaret: I bet you wouldn't do that. Probably. Really? Oh man. hehe ;-)
Jay
Jack: Oh this isn't over. Her homepage is going to be the I'm With Stupid podcast and I'll go from there.
Jay
Gnetch: Nope, didn't have any alcohol. And, you know what? Miley wouldn't have been so rude to her! haha ;-p ;-p
Jay
You know, I once read a novel about how a situation just like this (geriatric internet first-timers) resulted in the collapse of the internet. Ahem. Just saying.
I think you should have gone with WebMD instead of puppy videos. I mean ... c'mon!
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