Monday, October 17, 2011

Men Get Screwed and Women are Liars

You know who’s really got it rough in this country? You know who’s really being discriminated against? You know who’s really getting the short end of every stick?

MEN! That’s who.

Folks, things have just gotten out of hand here. It’s bad enough that we have all these stupid holidays and observances that have basically become “What are men getting for women” days. But shit, it’s pretty much open season on men. All you have to do is watch sitcoms and all these cell phone and beer ads and men always depicted as weak, stupid, lazy or all three.

And look at how much time and money is spent on women’s medical issues. You’ve got every single men’s pro sports leagues wearing pink at different times to raise money and “awareness” for breast cancer research. Do you see women’s sports leagues making a big deal over prostate cancer? Fuck no.

Hell, every Wednesday is “Boobie Wednesday” on Twitter where women show off cleavage and their boobs. Again, this is done to raise breast cancer awareness. But, is there a “Testicles Tuesday” for testicular cancer awareness? Fuck no.  

We put most of our educational focus on women too. Well over 50% people attending undergraduate colleges in America are women. Same goes for most graduate level and law schools. And, well over 50% of academic scholarships got to women too. This happens despite the fact that we all know that women suck at math.

And then, after getting those very expensive degrees what do women do? They work for about three years and then leave to go be “homemakers” and declare that their new job title is “mommy.” THEENNN, after like 10 years, when they’re finished squeezing out puppies and the kids are in grade school, they just show up at their old company expecting to be not only given their old job back, but to be installed into the position they would be in had they never left.

Worst of all people is that women are just full of shit. They make a HUGE deal about how they like men who are nice, decent, good, and sensitive or have a good sense of humor and shit like that. They love to bitch about men who treat them like crap and yell at them and cheat on them and all that shit too.

But, you know what? That’s what women prefer. They love being treated like shit. They love being cheated on. They love men who don’t help out around the house. They love men who don’t do their share to raise the kids. THAT’S THE WAY WOMEN WANT IT!

You know why men lean out the window of their car and wolf whistle at women and then put their fingers on the edges of their mouths and wag their tongues at them? Because it fucking works, that’s why. Those are the dudes who always have women all over them. How many guys do you know who treat women like crap and cheat on their significant others repeatedly who are lacking for female companionship? FUCKING ZERO! THAT’S HOW MANY!

Hell, remember Scott Peterson? Killed his gorgeous pregnant wife Laci and his hot as hell mistress Amber Frey finally ratted him out on what a shitbag he was? He gets hundreds and hundreds of marriage proposals from women every year. Yeah, dude beheaded his pregnant wife and dumped her body in the bay. He’s a great catch ladies!

What a load of shit. Guys, we might as well all just go gay. We’ll actually be treated decently by women if we do that. Sure, there’s that whole anal sex thing, but that probably only hurts for a little bit. On the positive side, we’ll actually get those blow jobs we love so much a lot more regularly. So it’s not all bad.

It’s either that, or just all become womanizing, cheating, abusive insensitive pricks.


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I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Bravo and I have but one word for you and this post..."Word" Cheers!!


Mike said...

I pick - womanizing, cheating, abusive insensitive pricks.

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt: I doubt I'll get much argument from women on this. What can they disagree with here?


I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: All of them? How greedy of you!


Dana said...

Ummm ... errr ... please keep your testes OFF of my twitter TL until your testes look as sensual as my boobies ... deal??

And the rest of this nonsense??

It's good to be a woman ;)

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I'm scared, really really scared when I start agreeing with you guys. I wonder if there is a 12 step program for this? help.

Warrior_Kat said...

You think Amber Frey is hot? Ha!

I'm With Stupid said...

Dana: Nonsense? PUHLEEZE! This is straight up truthiness!


I'm With Stupid said...

Margaret: Nothing to be afraid of at all. Agreeing with us is very normal and a good sign that your life is going in the right direction.


I'm With Stupid said...

Warrior_Kat: Oh sure, compared to YOU Amber is just some bag lady. But, she seemed like a nice and thoughtful person.


jack mehoff said...

ho-ly shit! im printing this off and taking it home to enlighten my wife. so eloquently put too i might add. im reading along saying out loud...yes.....yes!.....YES!!! oh FUCKIN SHIT YES!!!!!

well cept for the anal sex thing but then you redeemed it with the bj's so again YES

dead on - on all of it - i propose: blue balls wednesdays

for the record amber is hot - i would def hold her hand

i quote dr dre/snoop dog:

"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks

Lick on these nuts and suck the dick

Get's the fuck out after you're done

And I hops in my ride to make a quick run"

My 2 Pesos said...

So true!

Knight said...

Hmm.. I must be a guy.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jack: Let me know how much your wife enjoys this. I'm sure it will actually make your marriage better.


I'm With Stupid said...

Pesos: Again, you get right to the point. Another great comment.


I'm With Stupid said...

Knight: No, you're not. And I have researched this VERY closely. And often. Sometimes I research your uh, womanliness, multiple times a day in my dreams.


Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Shout it from the roof

Let the world hear! Say HEY!

Melissa said...

Wolf whistles, yes - good stuff. Tongue wags? Bleurgh.

Gnetch said...

Ouch!!! I'll tell mom!!!

I'm With Stupid said...

Vinny: If I do that, people will probably think I'm one of those Occupy Wall Street types.


I'm With Stupid said...

Melissa: *wolf whistle* how YOU doin' babe? ;-)


I'm With Stupid said...

Gnetch: Nooooooooo! Not mom!!!! You are, of course, exempt from all complaints about women cause you're my Sunshine! ;-)


Anonymous said...

bitch,bitch,bitch, whatever happened to real men that keep their emotions to themselves. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT MAKES SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF TITS JACKASS! Are you seriously blaming women for how obsessed men are with tits. Someday you will grow up and realize that little girls are attracted to assholes and women are attracted to MEN. But that is not very likely considering men are actually attracted to crazy little bitches. Grow up and take responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming the other sex for bulshit. EMO

Talk about stupid people.... said...

God I wish men were smarter... get over yourself. More and more men are becoming house dads, while women choose to be the worker. If you dont want to buy women a bunch of pointless shit stop messing with dumb high maintenance bitches that only care about material shit. Pretty simple solution.

ColonelCustard25 said...

Touching on your last point, all throughout the history of humanity, (we'll use golden era Athenian Greece because it's so relatable) male homoxuality was considered more philosophically, ethically, and intellectually fulfilling because of a lot of the reasons you mentioned; being two consenting adults that enter a realtionship based on an ideal greater than biological lust... This actually socially disempowers the female (not always, like in Sparta where woman became nearly the social rulers). From my experience, I'm 25 and been in four year relationship, women want it all, to be treated like a man in man affairs but then to be the weak and vulnerable victim when the moment suits it. They say they want true independence but really would love traditional gender roles where the man just acts like a daddy.

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