Friday, October 7, 2011

Are You Ready for Some Football: ESPN Drop Kicks Hank Williams, Jr. to the Curb

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Kiss Mah Ass, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hank Williams Jr. here for I’m With Stupid.

I reckon by now y’all heard that ESPN and their wet nurses at ABC have dropped me and my, “Are You Ready for Some Football?” song from the opening of Monday Night Football.

Ohhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhhh, Hmmmmm-huh.

I was on Fox and Friends the other morning talking to that chick with the molasses face and those two horses’ asses, when I said some things that offended some of the folks of the Liberal persuasion.  Hmmmmm-uh.

I told Gretchen Carlson that Obama and Boehner playing golf together was akin to Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.  Network suits and Cypress huggin’ crybabies were barkin’ like hound dogs with their tails ‘neath a John Deere mower because I ‘ledgedly compared Obama to Hitler with my remark.  Hmmmmm-uh.

Evidentially, my ironical humor was lost on those East Coast eggheads.  

See, the jocularity of my statement lies in that fact that not a single damn private country club in America would allow a Jew like Netanyahu to even play a round on their golf course. Do I gots to ‘splain everything to y’all?

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Boceeeephus, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyways…

I went on to call Obama, “the enemy”…Well Hell, c’monnnnn folks…Obama is nothing but a sham of a President, and an illegitimate political plant sent by those who would harm the U. S. of A.  

Do you think it’s a coincidence that a little over a year after his white mama and Kenyan baby daddy gave birth to Obama that the political suspense movie starring Frank Sinatra came out?  

Man, what was that movie called…um….The Hungarian Candidate, yeah that‘s it.  Hmmmmm-huh.

If that's just a damn "coincidence", Alabama ain't the best college football team in the U. S. of A.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Bear Bryant, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hell…If you were’s to knock me on anythin I said during that interview, knock me for calling Obama and Biden, “The Three Stooges.”  

I may be a simple God-Lovin’ country boy, but I do know two from three.  That miscue weren’t my calculations; it was the Jack Daniels figurin’.

And…Let that be a lesson to ya, all you youngins out there.  Drinkin’ and Cipherin’ don’t mix.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Hole Numbers, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyhollar…

That’s what got me into trouble with ESPN…It’s a damn shame, ‘cause y’know?

I remember back in the day when ESPN stood for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network.  Today?

I guess it stands for Estrogen-laden, Skirt and Panty-wearin’ Nuckleheads!!  Hmmmmm-huh.  Anyhoodle…

I may appear Saturday night on Matt-Man and Jayman’s IWS radio show…haven’t decided yet.  

I guess they're gonna talk about that chick who was in the dago jail…talk about some dude named Yom Kippur, and perhaps touch on Columbus Day which honors the day in 1492 when Hispanolians were introduced to Europeans, Small Pox, and Syphilis.

M’eh…We’ll see.  Anyway…

I have to goin's sleep off my second of five daily hangovers, so if you need me, you can contact Matt-Man at:!/MattManIWS

And remember…

Yeeeee Hawwwww, FOX Rawks, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!


I'm With Stupid said...

This guy is amazing. He drunk opines in writing exactly the same way he does live on TV. Now that's some pretty impressive talent right there.

Roll Tide!


I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: That's why I love him so much. He has no pretenses. What you see and hear, is what you get and who he is. He's so open, so warm...indeed, so human. Cheers!!


Beth said...

I'm glad they fired him, he's embarrasing.

Dianne said...

Oh Hank
just wrap your confederate flag around your head the next time you have a thought

I'm With Stupid said...

Beth: I'm sure it was a hard decision to make. Hank is an American icon after all. Cheers Schmoop!!

Di: I think the flag is on his mind every time he does just that. Cheers Sexy!!


Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I think he gets the ass hat of the week award.

People like him have given me the title of Ms. Misanthropic. I think that should be in a pageant like Ms Congeniality don't you? We may need to discuss further. I'd win that fuckin' sash for sure baby!!

I'm With Stupid said...

Peg: I'd vote for ya, Peg. But c'mon asshat? Hank is merely misunderstood. Cheers!!