Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Rosh Hashanah 2011: Suckers!!

Hi Kidz, Matt-Man here…and today? We are celebrating Rosh Hashanah.

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year. While technically called in Hebrew, Days of Awe or Day to Blow the Shofar, I call it…

The Kick-Off to the yearly 847 Jewish Holidays…or as my Korean-Jewish neighbor Kow Dung Holstein calls it…

Wash Hashanra.

Whatever…he can praise the Torwah, and delight in his kosher dog meat all he wants for all I care, that‘s cwazy…

Anyhoo, and like I said…

It’s the Jewish New Year, and we all have to like the Jews…and even more so, we have to adore the State of Israel. And seriously, what’s not to like?

I mean, c’mon, it’s a successful bastion of democracy smack dab in the heart of Muslim, sandnigger country. Which of course is why we, the United States, give them 2 Billion dollars a year.

And because they are a biblical people who for whatever reason God likes, you can’t hate them…in spite of the cost!! Now dig it…

We borrow 2 Billion dollars from the Chinese. We give the 2 Billion to Netanyahu and his Israeli cronies. The Israelis invest it in research and develop weapons, and then…the Christ-Killing, non-foreskin bastards sell the technology to the diminutive demagogues in Peking.

What’s not to like about that? Just staying true to the DNA passed down by the Moneychangers in the Temple, I guess!! How can one hate the Israelis for that?

Ya can’t. In fact…because they appear in the Bible as God’s chosen people…in America, it is a moral and political crime to speak ill of them at all.

Hell….Even though they killed God’s only begotten Son, all we hear from FOX NEWS, the GOP, and Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Haifa) is:

“It was all a big mix up; Obama paid off Pilate

Y’know…Fuck that.

The Jewish Sanhedrin, wanted Jesus dead because he was a threat to their, pay for play power with the Romans, who allowed the dried up Rabbis to pretend that they actually had power.

The Jews were the whores and the Romans were the Johns, not the disciple John mind you, ‘cause John was queer…okay he could have turned man tricks but…a gay John nonetheless. Where was I? Anyway…

Why do American Christians, specifically American evangelical Christians, kowtow to the State of Israel?

Because in Biblical prophecy, Jerusalem must be ravaged by heathens, destroyed, and then rebuilt to fulfill the Second Coming of Christ!! I say, if that’s the case…

Why the fuck are we spending all that money to help protect them?

Let’s cut off funding, suck the ego out of Prime Minister Netanyahu’s head, and allow the Palestinians to set things in motion, by destroying the damn place, so right-to-work Jewish (or nearly-slave wage Palestinian) labor can restore it and usher in the Baby Jeebus.

Hell, we’ll have peace in our time and then maybe, Ariel Sharon wouldn’t have to be spoon fed any longer. Just sayin…

Oh…Happy Fucking Rosh Hashanah, you Hebrewlites. 

I hope you, like I, are enjoying the irony of how the evangelical right worships you, you Christ-Killing party animals.

Matt-Man
http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

7 comments:

Mike said...

YEAH!!!! ME TOO!!! Hey, how do I get my foreskin back?

Beth said...

Don't sugar coat it baby, tell us how you really feel;)

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Ha...I once wrote about wanting to have my circumcision reversed. Quite amusing.

Beth: Decorum prevents me from really ratcheting it up, my dear.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Jay said...

Wow. I didn't know David Duke had taken over the blog for the day. ;-)

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: I don't get it? Ha!!

Matt-Man

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Love your history lessons

I'm With Stupid said...

Vin: They're always spot on. Cheers!!

Matt-Man