Thursday, August 11, 2011

Big Doing in a Small Town

It’s been a HUGE week here in the Redneckville, Arkansas Metroplex kids. We have a whole new grocery shopping experience in town. That’s right, an Aldi’s has opened up.  And, let me tell ya, that place is full of bargain processed food goodness. 

And the crowds came out in droves. They travelled far and wide as the news spread throughout the region through newspapers, the magic box that music and news comes out of and word-of-mouth.  People came into town from as far away as Nail and Swain to see what new fangled items of value the fancy building might hold. 

And OH what deals they have. Frozen pizzas for .99 cents? A box of Crunch Raisin Bran Cereal for only $1.99? A box of novelty ice cream treats for only $2.49? And Vienna Sausages for only a measly .39 cents a can? MY GOD MAN! These prices can’t be real! Why, they’re below Walmart prices. I must be dreaming. 

And apparently I wasn’t the only one. People were piling their carts high with reasonably priced food of questionable origin like they were getting ready for Y2K all over again.  So, I decided to strike a conversation with a few of ‘em. You know, just small talk like “big crowds, huh?” Or “Wow, they have some great prices!”

“My only regret is that we didn’t bring my old ’72 Ford Country Squire Wagon!” said one man. “We can only put so much into my wife’s TIE-YOTA.  But, we’re stocking up on some of the non-perishables. Not sure how long they’ll have these prices. I’m bettin’ ya these are just the ‘suck ‘em in’ prices.” 

Another person, a sweet young lady with blond hair and dazzling blue eyes who looked to be about 21 was stocking up on goodies. “My seven year old really shouldn’t be eating this stuff. But, I can sneak it into the house and hide it and bring it out little by little.  Everyone was saying this place was going to change my life, and I think they’re RIGHT!”

I’m tellin ya guys, it was a pretty festive atmosphere. Despite the crowds and downright freaking craziness in the parking lot, people were in a good mood and pleasant. The local radio station was doing a live remote and giving away tickets to see Larry the Cable Guy up in Branson.  There were children laughing lovers dreaming. And there were street performers and even a man in an Uncle Sam costume walking around on stilts. And of course clowns making balloon animals for the kids.

As for me, I thought it was alright. I can definitely save some money there. Pretty much everything I get at Walmart I can get at Aldi for the same price or less. And the crowds are certainly no worse than Walmart. So, the prospects of not having to go to Walmart every week make me very happy. 

But, they don’t sell beer and wine. What’s up with that?


IWS Radio said...

I think an even deeper divide in your community has been fostered here.

Not only do we have a rift between Baptists and Methodists, we have a schism between Aldiotians and WalMartonians!! Oh the Humanity!! Cheers...


Mike said...

I predict Walmart will drop prices to zero soon. Drive Aldi out of business. Then come back with double the prices to punish the wicked non Walmarters.

Gnetch said...

Okay. I want to live there!!!!!!!

Beth said...

No alcohol you say? Hmmm...tough decision.

Desert Rat said...

We have a store kind of like that called "Big Lots." The prices are amazing, but the selection of products is, shall we say, eclectic? You never know what you might find - but whatever it is, it's gonna be a steal! No alcohol, either, tho...

IWS Radio said...

Matt: I hope it results in all-out war! That would be fun to sit back and watch.

Mike: Walmart is just clever enough to do it too.

Gnetch: You should do it! Just up and move here! That would be awesome.


IWS Radio said...

Beth: Luckily there are about 20 other places that DO sell beer. So, it's just a minor inconvenience. I was kinda hoping for some really cheap box wine though.

Rat: Oh we have a Big Lots too. We're Big Time here babe!!


A Beer for the Shower said...

God bless cheap ass food. Here in Chicago, we have Food 4 Less. However, I don't have the testicular fortitude to venture into the only neighborhoods that have those stores.

Mike said...

Say hello to everyone on Saturday. I'll be at the zoo. And no I'm not part of any exibits.