Once again, someone out there needs IWS’ help, and once
again, we are here for them.
Yo, Viking Dude, first of all I just wanted to let you know
that you’re my fucking hero. I’m serious. I fucking love IWS Radio
and think you and the Matt-Man are the coolest cats around.
Here’s my situation. I think I’ve finally worked up the courage to go to a strip club this weekend. I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
Thanks,
G-Dawg
G-Dawg,
Thanks for the kind words. It’s nice to actually get positive feedback every once in a while. I mean sure all those sexy pics and love letters that women email me are awesome, but sometimes having a stranger take the time to tell me how awesome I am is really nice too.
So, as for your question you’ve come to the right place dude. Here is the information you need.
Here’s my situation. I think I’ve finally worked up the courage to go to a strip club this weekend. I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
Thanks,
G-Dawg
G-Dawg,
Thanks for the kind words. It’s nice to actually get positive feedback every once in a while. I mean sure all those sexy pics and love letters that women email me are awesome, but sometimes having a stranger take the time to tell me how awesome I am is really nice too.
So, as for your question you’ve come to the right place dude. Here is the information you need.
- First I recommend that you go during the day until you learn the ropes. Things are usually more laid back during the day, the crowds are smaller (and less scary) and you can settle in better.
- BE NICE TO THE GIRLS. I can’t stress this enough. For the most part the girls are friendly and nice and they take a lot of shit from douche bags. Don’t be one of them.
- TIP! Go up to the stage, stand where you’re supposed to stand (learn from watching other people) and tip the girl. And then … SAY THANK YOU to the girl.
- Don’t drink too much. I know from personal experience that people say and do stupid things when they’re drunk. By not drinking too much you won’t risk doing something that will get you physically removed from the club.
- Don’t start going to the club every single day. That’s pathetic. At least don’t go to the SAME club every day. You don’t want the girls to look up and say “OMG, him AGAIN??”
- Fee free to ask the girls what the “rules” are. They’ll probably ask you if you’ve been there before and then tell you the rules when you say “no” but if they don’t just ask. They’ll appreciate your consideration.
- Don’t get all grabby. Let her do her thing when getting a lap dance. Also, keep your fucking tongue to yourself you sick fuck. And don’t try to kiss her either (they all have herpes). The dancer sets the rules and you just follow her lead.
- Do not. I mean DO NOT bitch about the prices to the girls. Anytime you complain about the price of a lap dance you are basically telling the girl she isn’t worth it. That’s rude. Besides, complaining about the prices also tells the girls that you’re a cheap bastard.
- TIP! This one bears repeating. The girls are working hard. They’re trying to make sure you have a great experience and their time is worth paying for.
- Maker her laugh. Dancers put up with the absolute worst of society. Every single kind of asshole and rude, arrogant fuck come into their clubs every single day. Instead of being one of those guys, be the one who made her laugh and feel good. Compliment her and be casual and comfortable around her and just be a gentleman in general.
Okay, so the last thing you probably want to ask, or maybe the ONLY thing, is whether or not it’s okay to ask for “extras” in the VIP room or even ask her on a date. Well, that’s an easy one. The answer is an emphatic NO. There isno sex in the Champagne Room.
And one more time … TIP THE DANCERS … This is their job. They’re there to make a living and pay their bills. You are the customer and you are getting something from them of value (there time and the chance to see their boobies up close). Expect to pay for it and be willing to do so.
