Holaaaaaaaa y’all! You know, there’s been a lot going on
this week that has been covered pretty heavily in the news and on social media
and this afternoon something suddenly hit me. I don’t really give a shit about
most of it. I know some of this stuff is pretty important and shit, and maybe I
should care on some level, but I just can’t.
PED Use in Sports: Don’t really care. I know, I know, “Kids
look up to these pro athletes and want to be like them and will use PED’s if
their favorite player does!” Don’t care. I know it’s always “Think of the
cheeeeeeeeldren!” but, I just can’t get worked up over it.
I know that steroids are dangerous (probably) but it’s not
like people are forcing Ryan Braun or A-Rod or anyone else to take HGH or
steroids. They’re doing it on their own. If steroids cause their nuts to shrink
or mess their minds up or make them shoot blanks then so what? It’s just like
smoking, drinking and eating too much, we all know the risks.
The only thing the PED discussion does is give sanctimonious
sportswriters the opportunity to wag the finger of indignation at everyone
which is their favorite activity, of course.
Immigration: Come one, come all I say! Well, maybe not but
pretty close. I know people who start talking about immigration and their faces
turn red and I think they’re gonna have a heart attack within like five
minutes. And while they’re doing that I’m sitting there shrugging my shoulders
and saying “Yeah, I guess. Whatever.”
Want to build a fence? Go ahead. I don’t give a shit. Want
to pass a “path to citizenship?” Okay, that’s probably a good idea. Want to
round up all 11 million illegal immigrants up, stick them in the Astrodome and
then “process them” and send “back where they came from?” Get real.
Basically the immigration debate is just a way for people to
just go off on rants about brown people using all kinds of racist code words.
Political Sex Scandal: Oh sure these always start out fun.
Anthony Weiner sent pics of his wee-wee to some chick? Hilarious! He used the
online moniker “Carlos Danger?” Lacks creativity, but still pretty funny. Mark
Sanford simply walks off the job as governor and goes to Argentina to spend a
week with his mistress? Way cool!
The problem is that it never takes long before the
discussion about these sex and sexting scandals become nothing more than
partisan politics. All the conservatives who are “disgusted” by Anthony Weiner never
had a word to say about Mark Sanford, David Vitter or even Larry Craig. And,
everyone who was up in arms about Sanford think Weiner is getting the shaft. (Hey-OOOO)
The worst are the people out there who say “It’s just not
right to make fun of Anthony Weiner because he has an addiction and addiction
isn’t funny.” Oh bullshit! Addiction is hilarious. These are just people who
basically support Weiner, but are embarrassed to admit so they come up with silly
shit like that. Kind of like all the people who claim to be a Libertarian who
are really just too embarrassed by the idiocy of the Republican Party to admit
they’re a member.
Basically, the only thing the Weiner Sexting Scandal serves it
to give sanctimonious political writers the chance to wag the finger of
indignation at Weiner and anyone who might try to defend him, which is THEIR
favorite activity, of course.
So now you’re probably wondering what I do give a shit
about. Well, I tell ya, this story about NBA player and former Dukie J.J. Redick having an “Abortion
and Relationship Contract” with some chick? Now THAT’S freaking awesome! I
guess you have to sprinkle a little schadenfreude on my Scandal Burger to make
it interesting to me.
