Let's Make 2014 the Year of the Quitter!

Holaaaaaaaaaa! Yesterday Matt-Man posted his 2014 BucketList. I was going to do the same today, but decided to do something a bit different. Instead of making resolutions about the things I’m going to do, I’m going to invite everyone to join me in doing something: LET’S QUIT!

That’s right kids, I’m encouraging myself and everyone else to be a quitter…

- Let’s all quit bitching and whining about every little thing.

- Let’s all quit being all OUTRAGED at shit that has no effect on our lives.

- Let’s all quit deciding if something is “good” or “bad” based on our political world view.

- Let’s all quit being negative about EVERY GODDAM LITTLE BITTY THING.

- Let’s quit getting pissed off when someone is getting something we don’t think they DESERVE.

- Let’s quit pushing our religious beliefs on others.

- Let’s quit being intolerant of people of faith.

- Let’s quit being racist, bigoted, homophobic assholes.

- Let’s quit telling other people how to live their lives.

- Let’s quit feeding the trolls.

- Let’s quit being so politically correct all the time.

- Let’s quit holding others to standards we don’t hold ourselves to.

- Let’s quit accepting the dumbing down of America.

- Let’s quit giving people a pass for being shitty to others.

- Let’s quit ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THE CHEEEELDRIN!

- Let’s quit paying so much attention to the carnival barkers who host cable TV “news” shows.

- Let’s quit getting all butt-hurt when someone doesn’t like the band, movie, TV show or sports team we like.

- Let’s quit being so damn judgmental.

- Let’s quit being angry when good things happen to other people.

- Let’s quit bashing success.

- Let’s quit being so selfish.

- Let’s quit being haters.

- Let’s quit being so damn impatient.

- Let's quit being so miserable all the time.

- Let’s quit settling for less than we deserve.

Let’s just fucking quit! Happy New Year everyone!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

2012: A Year of Fail

Hola y'all! Last year, as a part of our thrilling and hilarious Matt Said Jay Said series, Matt-Man and I posted our New Year’s Resolutions for 2012.

So let’s see how I did this year…

1. Be more organized and set deadlines for writing blog posts and stuff for the show.

Results are pretty mixed on this one. I did a little better for part of the year but kind of ran out of steam late in the year when nothing was going on and internets were kind of slow.

2. Cut back dramatically on the frozen pizzas, chips, soft drinks and alcohol.

*snort* Yeah, this one goes as a fail. Maybe I’ll try again in 2013

3. Develop an impressive, yet not too expensive, daily cocaine habit.

DONE BITCHES!

4. Double my Twitter followers, Facebook friends and triple Tumblr followers.

Well, I don’t know what my follower counts were on Jan 1, and even though it seems like I’m obsessed with them, I’m not. I will say that it’s frustrating to keep hitting 200 “friends” on Facebook only to get defriended by a few people. It’s happened four times now. Anyway, probably a FAIL on this one too.

5. Learn to sing, play guitar and/or piano and tap dance.

I’ve only made progress on the tap dancing part of this one.

6. Run a marathon

Hahahaha … I must have been high when I wrote that.

7. Work harder and maintaining and improving relationships and actually interact more.

Honestly, I haven’t done too badly on this one. The big downside to doing this is having to deal with rejection, but I will continue to work on it in 2013.

8. Do at least one IWS podcast while in the same location as Matt-Man.

Completely failed. Will attempt again in 2013.

9. Master the art of ventriloquism.

I changed my mind on this one. I didn’t want to risk being associated with not-funny Jeff Dunham and his racist puppets.

10. Get all restraining orders lifted. 

Progress was made. Some have expired and no new ones were issued. I’m still able to follow both Miley Cyrus and Giada de Laurentiis on Twitter without having any legal action taken. Sure Jo might be considering talking to her lawyer, but as of right now, things appear good on the legal front.

11. Work on learning new and different writing styles.

Eh. I should put out a little more effort on this front. We’ll call this one a Mostly Failed.

12. Improve the technical aspects of the show by getting rid of the cheap headset and acquiring a good USB condenser mic with a filter and possibly a mixer.

I didn’t get a new mic because, well, they’re expensive, but considering that we’re using a landline, Google Talk and BTR’s system, I think the tech side of the show is actually fairly good right now for most shows. There are times when either GTalk or BTR cause problems, but I’m not sure there will ever be a way of avoiding that.

So, as you can see I didn’t do so ba … oh jeez … I really sucked in 2012. What a fucking failure I am. Oh God! It’s definitely time to make some changes. I think I start with never being stupid enough to post my Resolutions online again.

There! That makes me feel a lot better already.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Also, in case you missed it Sunday’s Good Riddance to 2012 on I’m With Stupid was freaking hilarious. We got calls from Justin in Kentucky, Missy in Ohio and Mike in St. Louis. We talked about dumpster fires, how much 2012 sucked, how 2013 isn’t looking any better, the Captain and Tennille and the possible impending death Daryl Dragon. All that and so, so much more. Check it out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

New Year's Resolutions

Cheers, and Good Day…

This is an introspective Matt-Man writing today about the end of a year gone bad, a year of hope and inspiration turned sour, and personal resolutions I am bound and determined to make over the upcoming Year of our Lord, 2013.

The year of 2012 started off well for me. In fact, the first nine and a half months were nothing but sunny skies, climbing ratings, and flowing wine…and then?

Tragedy struck when my best friend, soul mate, and bane of reason for my existence, Schmoop, took ill in late-October, thereby shattering our stained glass window of happiness and success, and kicking us to the curb of life just like the Gospels of Thomas and Mary Magdalene being kicked out of inclusion into the Bible, lo those many centuries ago…or something.

Anyhoo…

Some things that I do, and some character flaws that I have depress even me, so I am going to work on those and hopefully improve my karma, and thereby my life and luck, and hope that the fickle face of fate smiles down upon Schmoop and I in 2013.

I am going to eat healthier.  We are big fans of frozen pizzas here in the Bagwine digs, but sometimes I devour a Totino’s Triple Meat Pizza.  I think that perhaps this year, when I decide on a frozen Totino’s pizza, I will curb my carnivorous avarice and go with a mere pepperoni or sausage pizza.  Why do I have to eat THREE meats when one will suffice?

I am going to discontinue being such a sarcastic prick, especially on Facebook.  I mean, c’mon?  Sure, I laugh out loud in the confines of my living room as I make fun of others, but seriously, where does it get me? Nowheresville, that’s where.

I have been drinking a lot of Wild Irish Rose lately.  What does that do for me?  Nothing…I mean, other than waking up with a hangover, and having remembrances of a dream that involved me in a three way with Anna Nicole Smith and Jayne Mansfield, and last I checked, they are both still dead.  Sad.

So...I'll simply drink more Steel Reserve.

See what I mean?  A lot of this stuff pisses me off about myself , and I need to change these habits and characteristics.

For instance, I am going to become an anti-procrastinator. Sometimes, like tonight, as I write this, I have waited until 10:30 PM to begin to write it, even though we have an unwritten deadline of 12 AM.

No more…No more I tell you!!

As God, you the IWS readers, and an unbelieving Jayman look upon me, I swear that in 2013 I will be a day ahead on my posts.

And lastly, with Schmoop lazying about with three tubes hanging out of her, I know not when I may have sex with her again, but read this now and comprehend it later…

I am done engaging in daily masturbatory experiences involving pictures of  Michelle Keegan…

So there you have it…My New Year’s Resolutions, er…

You know what?  I don’t think I can manage to accomplish all of those, so I think that instead of being depressed and disappointed in all of my flaws, my New Year’s Resolution will be but one very simple one…

I will not only accept all my flaws, but embrace them and expound upon them.  Oh Yeah, this is gonna be a great year!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS


And don't forget to check out the I'm With Stupid Podcast! 

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Matt Said, Jay Said XIX: New Year's Resolutions

Matt giải quyết, Jay giải quyết, You thủ dâm. And, you we all do it in Vietnamese.

So we’re gonna do a something a little different for this week’s edition of Matt Said, Jay Said kids. Instead of bits and pieces of hilarious conversations between Matt-Man and Jayman, we’re simply going to post our New Year’s Resolutions. Some of them may not be all that serious.

Matt-Man:

1. I will practice better bathroom etiquette.  I will clean the sink after I shave, and pee in the toilet rather than merely near the toilet.

2. I am going to seriously focus on making money from my writing, our website, and our radio show.

3. To meet the ends of the previous resolution, I am going to become a better writer and radio co-host.

4. Instead of making fun of Norwegians, I will merely ignore them.

5. I am going to put away 10 dollars a week as is Schmoop, so by Christmas of 2012 we have $1,000.00 on hand to more than pay for Christmas and have a nice year end bonus for us.

6. I am going to eat healthier.  Twice a week I will replace my typical dinner of a greasy double cheeseburger and fries with CHICKEN nuggets AND A taco SALAD.

7. I vow to kick Sean Hannity in the vagina on national TV.

8. I used to help with the cleaning of the Bagwine digs, and haven’t been doing that.  I will make sure I start doing that again.

9. I am going to make sure that my son is mentally and emotionally prepared for college when he graduates in 2013.

10. I will jack off less frequently, especially during the dry, winter months.

11. I will love more, hate less, become a better person, and most importantly…

12. I will get the makers of Steel Reserve to become a sponsor of our show.

Jayman:

1. Be more organized and set deadlines for writing blog posts and stuff for the show.

2. Cut back dramatically on the frozen pizzas, chips, soft drinks and alcohol.

3. Develop an impressive, yet not too expensive, daily cocaine habit.

4. Double my Twitter followers, Facebook friends and triple Tumblr followers.

5. Learn to sing, play guitar and/or piano and tap dance.

6. Run a marathon

7. Work harder and maintaining and improving relationships and actually interact more.

8. Do at least one IWS podcast while in the same location as Matt-Man.

9. Master the art of ventriloquism.

10. Get all restraining orders lifted.

11. Work on learning new and different writing styles.

12. Improve the technical aspects of the show by getting rid of the cheap headset and acquiring a good USB condenser mic with a filter and possibly a mixer.

And, speaking of New Year’s Eve, and we were, don’t forget to join us for our big New Year’s Eve Show on I’m With Stupid at 11 pm ET! Or, catch us in the archives. It’s gonna be a blast.

But wait that’s not all! On Wednesday we held a pretty good 2012 strategy session where we talked about some great ideas for this blog and the show coming up in the New Year. If you want a little sneak preview of some of the stuff we’re talking about, then give the show a listen using this handy-dandy player provided by BTR which the new Blogger really fucking posting. But, they can’t stop us!

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyone out there and remember that we love each and every one of you guys. Well, 95% of ya at least. Probably 98%. 

Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy show on Blog Talk Radio!

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