New Year's Eve 2014 on IWS Radio...Simply Awesome!!

Yesterday’s IWS Radio show will go down in the annals of radio history, mainly because all radio shows that have already been done, are part of history, but nonetheless…

Our friend Chris busted through security and burst into the studio.

Drew Peacock got uber creepy, but was putting himself out there for all the women to love.

Bertie Higgins and Paul Anka rocked the house during Jay and Matt’s new Worst Songs Ever segment.

Being the multi-tasker that he is, Jayman offered Redskins highlights in HD while speaking to the LIVE audience.

Party Marty as typical never answered his phone.  And….

Bobby Kraft interviewed Baby New Year, and let us tell you….Baby New Year was an uninformed whiny ass bitch!!

Jay and Matt shared some New Year Resolutions and KleeShay Johnson seemed to say that in 2015 he would give 110% toward learning how to play the guitar.

Slyder Balzcock covered the remains of a Peta protester who was turned into a bratwurst or something.

We remembered Casey Kasem as only Casey could fucking remember himself and his staff, and…

Jayman shut things down with what may be THE worst record ever recorded by The Eagles.

How long is your hair now, Don?

And, if you missed the show live, you can always catch it right here:

Matt-Man's 2014 Bucket List

Cheeeeeeeers and Happy New Year’s Eve to you all, you adorable Chuckleheads, you!!

It is indeed New Year’s Eve and you know what that means…

In addition to over imbibing, over eating, and having regretful post-stroke-of-midnight sex with somebody you wouldn’t have found attractive or even remotely likeable at 7 PM, we all make resolutions for the New Year!!

Well my friends, I am no different, but my resolutions are more of a Bucket List kinda thing for the year that lies ahead of us.  Following, is a list of what I want to do and/or accomplish during 2014.

1.  I am going to do my best to help Schmoop find a job whether she likes it or not.  Sorry Schmoop.

2.  I am going to look for a new job myself.  If I could find one that paid me enough to allow Schmoop to stay home, I would be a happy man.  I have never even remotely thought that way about any other woman in my life.

3.  I would like to get a CORPORATE sponsor for the IWS Radio Show.  Are we great show?  No.  Are we a pretty good show and website deserving of someone’s cash?  Yeah…and?  We’re usually Numero Uno. So, Ima gonna work on that.

4.  Sometime between June and September, I want to take a week off. Other than when I was in the hospital for a week in 2009 and unemployed for a couple of months in 2010, I haven’t had a week of real vacation since 2007.  The most I have gotten is two days off in row once every six-eight months.

5.  Considering the vacation thing and that I may assume a mild windfall of cash this year, I would like to take part of my week off and make a road trip to Redneckville, AR and finally in corporeal form, meet Jayman.

It would be an experience of a lifetime to go to Hudson’s “The People Pleasin’ Place” Grocery Store and Colton’s Restaurant with Jayman, and ultimately get thrown out of both establishments hand in hand.

6.  I would like to finally get divorced, annulled, and/or all-encompassingly dissoluted from my son’s mom. What the hell is up with that?  I know what it is, and I’ll explain it in Number 7.

7.  When and if Jayman and I make money on our show, the IWS Radio Corporation and monetary scale will be as so…Jayman CEO (50% of revenues), Schmoop CFO (49% of revenues), Matt-Man Bit Player (1% of revenues).  Don’t tell me that I’m not always thinkin’!!  Mommy Dearest will have no reason to still be married to me after that!!

8.  I am going to continue to be myself.  Some folks during the end of the year say things like, “I am going to be nicer.  More tolerant.”

Eh?  I am pretty nice, but I know that I am also a sarcastic asshole at times, and well, I like that.  It’s me, and I’m pretty good at it, so…I’m going to make sure that I remain that way.

9.  I am going to try Chocolate Almond Soy Milk……Ha!!  Yeah right.

10.  I am going to relax.  I may seem laid back and I am intellectually, but emotionally and in a physical sense, I never am.  Hell, I am already taking my shoes off more than usual, so, well…I am already making progress.

And in related news…Jayman and I did our first PRIMETIME IWS Radio Show this past Sunday and talked about stuff like this and it was a hoot!!

You should give it a listen…It will get you in the spirit of the New Year, and get your party preparations in high gear!!

Happy New Year, and Cheeeeeers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS
My Facebook Page       

IWS Radio IS Ready for Primetime!!

Happy Friday, Second Day of Kwanzaa, and National Fruitcake Day to one and all, and I hope that
everyone reading this, had a wonderful time celebrating the birth of the Holy Baby Jeebus this week.

I know I did.  I spent Christmas Eve at my brother Marty’s house and my son was actually there, and he had a present for ME.  It’s true!!

It was a Christmas miracle, and really?

The entire evening there was quite fun, because unlike many families, me and my brothers and sisters, get along pretty well.  But you know what I told my son Ryno Christmas Eve because I found it to be somewhat disturbing?

When I am with my brothers, even at six feet tall, I am the shortest Mahoney man in the room.  Hey, I know I was the baby of the family, but Mom and Dad, could you have spared an inch or two for me?

Wait…That didn't sound right, did it? Oh well, and anyhoo…

I, and certainly Jayman as well, hope that all of you gorgeous miscreants had a delightful Christmas.

Religious affiliation (or not) and/or whatever type of observances that you may or may not have had aside, Christmas is a great touchstone and catalyst for having fun with friends, family, and the ones whom you love.

Unless of course you send a very dear friend a picture of hot dog to their Facebook page as a token of Christmas joy and they end up deleting your wiener.  That right there is just plain, hurtful bullshit, but I digress, but I may discuss this issue further this Sunday on the IWS Radio Show, which by the way…

Is going PRIMETIME!!

Dat’s right Bitches!!  IWS Radio is going to be airing LIVE THIS SUNDAY from 8-10 PM ET, and probably will have that same time slot for at least 10-12 weeks.

Y’see?  The President and CEO of Blog Talk Radio Alan Levy approached Jay and I about going to a primetime slot because in his words…

“Primetime in the winter on BTR really slows down.  It has no pizzazz.  We need you guys….We need the IWS Radio team…We need you guys to be the straw that stirs the BTR primetime drink.”

So…I begged Drive-By Mikey to allow me to work the Beer Mine seven days a week, so that I would be sober at 8 PM ET on Sundays in order to do the show and help Alan Levy out.

Mikey put up a struggle, but he acquiesced and said to me…

“As much as I enjoy working Sundays, if you do an 8 PM show on a day that you are off, you won’t be able to dial in to the switchboard let alone talk coherently on the air.  Don’t get all gushy and thank me, but Sundays are all yours from now on Matt-Man.”

And there you have it.

So…Join us LIVE this Sunday from 8-10 PM ET as we go primetime and look back on 2013 and look ahead to 2014 during the IWS Radio 2014: Bigger and Stoopider show.

Me, Jay, Guy Ahnyurdyck, Rev. Moneymaker, Drew Peacock, Dana, Malcolm Eckstein, and a host of others will be on hand to celebrate the New Year and Kwanzaa!!

To join us LIVE this Sunday, you can click HERE.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Happy New Year 2013

"Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year…it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols." ~Thomas Mann

The words of Mann are true, but…when I read his passage, I wonder about the spirit in which he wrote it.

Is it merely a statement of fact, or is he also mocking human behavior and its attempt to harness time…to take time, and somehow, define it?

I think the latter. Mann, in all of his stoic, efficient, German manner, is correct about the ambiguity and elusiveness of time.

However, “we mortals” have good reason, or at least a reason to mark the New Year with bells and an alcohol induced blaring of trumpets.

New Year’s Day is a time when many people gather to watch football, feast on pork and sauerkraut, and publicly (and foolishly) announce their resolutions for the coming year.

Some people view the day as just another day off from work.

Those same people oft times say that anytime of year is a good time to take stock and better yourself without the confines of a once a year resolution.

I myself, enjoy the festivities surrounding the New Year, but also understand the reasoning of those who eschew the tradition of making once a year promises.

My reason to celebrate, or at least observe the New Year, lies somewhere in between the aforementioned reasons...and it relates to the statement made by Thomas Mann.

I think that between 8 P.M. New Year’s Eve while partying, and 9 A.M. New Year’s Day when one wakes up (or is finally going to bed), time does, in a way, stand still.

As Mann said, “Time has no divisions…”, and during those precious few hours, we are like a broken clock. We are both A.M. and P.M., past and present; preface and postscript.

We can visualize everything we have ever been and ever done, in the often stark, monochromatic brutality of black and white.

We can also see everything that we want to be and want to do, in color…bright colors, colors that sometimes elude our sight because we do not take the time to notice them the other 364 days of the year.

The transition between the old and the new, is but a razor thin balance between Rationalism and Empiricism, between regret and hope…between charcoal drawings and watercolors.

I hope that we can all cut through the drab, dreary, and sometimes painful black and white screen of this world and of our personal prologues, and see the colors that we oft times miss.

My wish for you this New Year is that you use your past experiences as a pencil sketch, and spend 2013 turning that sketch into a painting of bright and wonderful watercolors.

Happy New Year!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com

@mattman_iws

New Year's Resolutions

Cheers, and Good Day…

This is an introspective Matt-Man writing today about the end of a year gone bad, a year of hope and inspiration turned sour, and personal resolutions I am bound and determined to make over the upcoming Year of our Lord, 2013.

The year of 2012 started off well for me. In fact, the first nine and a half months were nothing but sunny skies, climbing ratings, and flowing wine…and then?

Tragedy struck when my best friend, soul mate, and bane of reason for my existence, Schmoop, took ill in late-October, thereby shattering our stained glass window of happiness and success, and kicking us to the curb of life just like the Gospels of Thomas and Mary Magdalene being kicked out of inclusion into the Bible, lo those many centuries ago…or something.

Anyhoo…

Some things that I do, and some character flaws that I have depress even me, so I am going to work on those and hopefully improve my karma, and thereby my life and luck, and hope that the fickle face of fate smiles down upon Schmoop and I in 2013.

I am going to eat healthier.  We are big fans of frozen pizzas here in the Bagwine digs, but sometimes I devour a Totino’s Triple Meat Pizza.  I think that perhaps this year, when I decide on a frozen Totino’s pizza, I will curb my carnivorous avarice and go with a mere pepperoni or sausage pizza.  Why do I have to eat THREE meats when one will suffice?

I am going to discontinue being such a sarcastic prick, especially on Facebook.  I mean, c’mon?  Sure, I laugh out loud in the confines of my living room as I make fun of others, but seriously, where does it get me? Nowheresville, that’s where.

I have been drinking a lot of Wild Irish Rose lately.  What does that do for me?  Nothing…I mean, other than waking up with a hangover, and having remembrances of a dream that involved me in a three way with Anna Nicole Smith and Jayne Mansfield, and last I checked, they are both still dead.  Sad.

So...I'll simply drink more Steel Reserve.

See what I mean?  A lot of this stuff pisses me off about myself , and I need to change these habits and characteristics.

For instance, I am going to become an anti-procrastinator. Sometimes, like tonight, as I write this, I have waited until 10:30 PM to begin to write it, even though we have an unwritten deadline of 12 AM.

No more…No more I tell you!!

As God, you the IWS readers, and an unbelieving Jayman look upon me, I swear that in 2013 I will be a day ahead on my posts.

And lastly, with Schmoop lazying about with three tubes hanging out of her, I know not when I may have sex with her again, but read this now and comprehend it later…

I am done engaging in daily masturbatory experiences involving pictures of  Michelle Keegan…

So there you have it…My New Year’s Resolutions, er…

You know what?  I don’t think I can manage to accomplish all of those, so I think that instead of being depressed and disappointed in all of my flaws, my New Year’s Resolution will be but one very simple one…

I will not only accept all my flaws, but embrace them and expound upon them.  Oh Yeah, this is gonna be a great year!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS


And don't forget to check out the I'm With Stupid Podcast! 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XIX: New Year's Resolutions

Matt giải quyết, Jay giải quyết, You thủ dâm. And, you we all do it in Vietnamese.

So we’re gonna do a something a little different for this week’s edition of Matt Said, Jay Said kids. Instead of bits and pieces of hilarious conversations between Matt-Man and Jayman, we’re simply going to post our New Year’s Resolutions. Some of them may not be all that serious.

Matt-Man:

1. I will practice better bathroom etiquette.  I will clean the sink after I shave, and pee in the toilet rather than merely near the toilet.

2. I am going to seriously focus on making money from my writing, our website, and our radio show.

3. To meet the ends of the previous resolution, I am going to become a better writer and radio co-host.

4. Instead of making fun of Norwegians, I will merely ignore them.

5. I am going to put away 10 dollars a week as is Schmoop, so by Christmas of 2012 we have $1,000.00 on hand to more than pay for Christmas and have a nice year end bonus for us.

6. I am going to eat healthier.  Twice a week I will replace my typical dinner of a greasy double cheeseburger and fries with CHICKEN nuggets AND A taco SALAD.

7. I vow to kick Sean Hannity in the vagina on national TV.

8. I used to help with the cleaning of the Bagwine digs, and haven’t been doing that.  I will make sure I start doing that again.

9. I am going to make sure that my son is mentally and emotionally prepared for college when he graduates in 2013.

10. I will jack off less frequently, especially during the dry, winter months.

11. I will love more, hate less, become a better person, and most importantly…

12. I will get the makers of Steel Reserve to become a sponsor of our show.

Jayman:

1. Be more organized and set deadlines for writing blog posts and stuff for the show.

2. Cut back dramatically on the frozen pizzas, chips, soft drinks and alcohol.

3. Develop an impressive, yet not too expensive, daily cocaine habit.

4. Double my Twitter followers, Facebook friends and triple Tumblr followers.

5. Learn to sing, play guitar and/or piano and tap dance.

6. Run a marathon

7. Work harder and maintaining and improving relationships and actually interact more.

8. Do at least one IWS podcast while in the same location as Matt-Man.

9. Master the art of ventriloquism.

10. Get all restraining orders lifted.

11. Work on learning new and different writing styles.

12. Improve the technical aspects of the show by getting rid of the cheap headset and acquiring a good USB condenser mic with a filter and possibly a mixer.

And, speaking of New Year’s Eve, and we were, don’t forget to join us for our big New Year’s Eve Show on I’m With Stupid at 11 pm ET! Or, catch us in the archives. It’s gonna be a blast.

But wait that’s not all! On Wednesday we held a pretty good 2012 strategy session where we talked about some great ideas for this blog and the show coming up in the New Year. If you want a little sneak preview of some of the stuff we’re talking about, then give the show a listen using this handy-dandy player provided by BTR which the new Blogger really fucking posting. But, they can’t stop us!

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyone out there and remember that we love each and every one of you guys. Well, 95% of ya at least. Probably 98%. 

Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy show on Blog Talk Radio!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio